Best Original Decepticon

[Needlenose]

Needlenose struts on stage, walking along the edge, nearest the audiance, like a runway model. He stops at the far end, then saunters back to the podium and strikes a pose, one foot nearer to the audiance, shoulders slightly back and tilted, right hand resting lightly at his hips. One might even imagine that he's positioned himself so as to glitter as much as possible beneath the lights, and one would be correct. Needlenose knows these things.

"Gentlemen," he announces loudly, smoothly. Oh, wait, there's that other gender around too, isn't there? "And ladies," he adds. "It seems I have been called upon to introduce the best original Decepticon. I must admit, this somewhat baffles me, because who could be more original than me? Why, time was, people would give their last drop of fuel for a Needlenose Original! But ah," and he waves it off. "I guess I must play along with this game!"

"So, this... utilitarian but drab little datachip they've provided me with tells me that the nominees are as follows:

"First, we have Duskwing, the Seeker. Now, let me tell you all, I am the last person to knock mass production, and the Seeker is a great design! A fine design. In fact, I even sported that build once! However, it is also out. Ancient! Yesterday's news! Wings are still in, but I tell you, this season's models? They're all sporting cone-downward designs and fusion reactor hybrids! Mark my words!

"Next, up is Eye-Fire. Eye-Fire. The guy who looks like Shockwave, only slightly less expressive. I do realize the large chested-look is considered a classic in some circles, but... Shockwave? Seriously! If I were you, Eye-Fire, I'd be looking at a redesign!

"Our third nominee is Fleetwind. Review all the previous comments about Seekers, and add to it the fact that Fleetwind is yellow, when all the hip and now Seekers are blue. Sorry, Fleets, but that's too strikes against you! And practicing a dead performance art doesn't help out either, darling. You should really look at modernizing your wardrobe and your free time, Fleetiekins!

"After that is... oh. Oh, I do not believe this one," Needlenose's nose scrunches up in a distaste that's also conveyed by his voice. "Oh. Right. We've got the ultimate in low budget wear, the gal who looks like her alt mode was put together by scraps from the nearest junk yard because it was, Screwdriver.

"And last, but not least (because Screwdriver's least), we have another Seeker. Skystrike, at least, has the good sense to be wearing this season's colors as he... erm... she? Goes for the silent femme fatale- erm, homme fatale? role, not to mention adding in a good does of oh-so-popular gender-ambiguity to help stir things up!"

[Duskwing]

Duskwing shoves the fedora back on his head and says, "Yeah? What's it to ya?"

And what was Needlenose babbling about anyway?

[Eye-fire]

Under most circumstances, Eye-Fire might have fired a low powered shot over Needlenose's shoulder to voice his opinion on the matter. He won't though for two reasons.

1) Needlesnose says this about everyone.

2) He doesn't want to face return fire from both Needlenose and Spinister, who is no doubt lurking somewhere.

Instead he simply lifts up his arm and waves.

[Fleetwind]

Fleetwind looks up from his seat at the bar where he quietly sips on his energon cube. His optics flicker in a blink as his name is called. Award? He doesn't want to win an award? He sighs and takes another sip.

He pays no attention to the fashion critique. He actually has considred getting a blue paint job to blend in better, but change also stands out. Best to stick with what he has.

[Screwdriver]

"I am not least!" Screwdriver shouts from her seat. She has a rounded cup, and a curly, looping crazy straw.

"I'm a pretty, pretty princess!" Then she drops back into her seat, arms crossed with annoyance. "Meanie-head," she mutters.

[Needlenose]

Needlenose hesitates as the data-chip feeds him the name of the winner.

"No," he argues with his chip. "No, no no. I am not giving the award to that one, and you all can just kiss my afterburner."

He turns and starts to flounce off the stage.

[Pee-Dee]

"This ain't exactly voluntary, 'Nose," Pee-Dee drawls over the broadcast system. "But if you're going to be such a useless little flufftart over it, I'll handle it."

[Spinister]

If Needlenose continues to try to exit the stage, Spinister will appear there. Where did he come from? The shadows. There are always shadows, waiting whenever light reaches forth. He crosses his arms and then raises an arm to beckon that Needlenose return to the stage.

When one is assigned a duty, one does it right. Did Spinister teach Needlenose nothing?

Spinister whispers, just low enough for Needlenose to hear, "Do the job right, and I'll see about your afterburner."

Provided that Spinister doesn't have to physically drag Needlenose back onto the stage, Spinister slinks back into the darkness.

[Needlenose]

Needlenose visibly bristles¹ at the voice over the broadcast system, and he glares around the room to find its source. Oh, sure, it's a Junkion, and oh, sure, she'll just put herself back together again, but it'll still be so satisfying to pull her apart. A few times.

Then Spinister shows up, starts pointing, and makes his offer. Needlenose crosses his arms and tilts his head to the right, one antennae slightly askew. "I'm taking you up on that," he whispers, then turns around and returns to the podium.

"Well, gentlemen, and, er, ladies, it seems she isn't least after all, and this year, rust is in! Everyone, let's hear it for this year's Best Original Decepticon, Screwdriver!" And Needlenose begins clapping enthusiastically to lead off and encourage others to do the same.

He's thinking about his afterburner, after all.

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¹ Between his antennae and his wings, he's got a lot to visibly bristle with!

[Screwdriver]

Screwdriver jumps up and claps enthusiastically. "Yay!" she yells. "Yay yay yay yay!" And with that she rushes to the stage, flips herself up onto it, snatches her award, and runs off.

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OOC: Sorry. Didn't want to spend too much time RPing with myself.