Decepticon Most Likely To Join Cannonball's Pirate

[Spinister]

Spinister, still in that vampire get-up, stalks onto the stage. Somehow, he radiates the aura that he is either going to perform a public service announcement or decree a purge. It's also possible that he might somehow combine the two. Remember, kids, only decree a purge of non-believers if you are sure that your power base is shored up enough to weather the repercussions.

He looms behind the podium, leaning over it. Spinister raps on the podium with a curled fist, demanding silence of the audience. He announces, voice quiet, "I'm presenting the Decepticon Most Likely To Join Cannonball's Pirate Award." He pauses and adds, even more quietly, "Also known as the Decepticon Mostly Likely to Get Shot By A Mayhem Award."

"The names are Barricade and Frenzy," shady characters, both of them, "Jetstorm," who is a little twit, "Shortround," who follows the precedent set by Needlenose of Decepticons who have stupid geeky hobbies, "Wildrider," who is a Stunticon and probably doesn't know better, "and Wreckage," who may have Stockholm syndrome from the long mission with Cannonball.

No, Spinister is not going to do a cute spiel about each nominee. He tries to avoid talking, remember? Having to present an award is cruel and unusual punishment, to him.

[Shortround]

Shortround sighs and rests his head on his claw in slight embarrassment. "This is discrimination against robots with aquatic alt modes, I swear. Just cause I turn into a hovercraft doesn't mean I'm pirate material..." he mutters.

Shortround is, of course, overlooking his tendency to steal when the original owners aren't around.

[Wildrider]

Wildrider was just here for the free drinks. However, he wasn't expecting his name to come up. He was sitting behind Shortround when he heard his name come up.

Unfortunately, he was halfway through imbibing another free drink, and does a spit-take.

[Wreckage]

Wreckage twitches, visibly even, at the suggestion that he would abandon the Decepticon cause to join any other group. Least of all whatever undisciplined, unschooled, mad rabble must surely be under that pirate's command. He is also disturbed that there is some power or entity in existence which doubts his loyalty enough to have suggested such a thing. Clearly, the best solution is to hunt down this deluded idiot and dismember him in Lord Megatron's name. Slowly.

[Cannonball]

Wildrider isn't the only one doing spit-takes. Cannonball's new drink (After Perceptor blasted the last one) is now half on his table.

"Wot in th' smeltin' pits? I wouldn't 'ave any of 'em on my leakin' crew!"

Cannonball ponders a moment.

"...well, maybe."

And now the pirate is back to pondering scraping together a small pirate crew with the Deadzoners. So much for moving on!

[Spinister]

"The... winner," Spinister sounds dubious that the word 'winner' can really be used here, "is... Shortround."

He peers out into the audience, seeking out Shortround with a gaze that says, 'We will talk later, and Hairsplitter will do most of the talking. In gun form.'

Now, however, he hefts up the award, a tiny treasure chest, which opens to reveal a crystal skull and crossbones.

[Shortround]

After glaring behind him at the spit-taking Wildrider, Shortround turns back to the stage."Boo!" Shortround yells. And then notices that no one else is booing. Dammit, why did he had to get the award that no one else wanted?

With a heavy sigh, Shortround walks up to the stage, dragging his feet behind him with every step. "This is discrimination, what sort of piratical features do I even have... I'm programmed more as a scalper, not a pirate..." he mutters as he comes up on stage.