Most Heroic Autobot

[Barricade]

Somehow, Barricade has managed to avoid getting trussed up in any strange outfits. He hasn't managed to avoid getting tasked to do anything tonight, though. How... irritating. He'd hoped to be able to skulk about the fringes and torment random mechs. Maybe get Frenzy in close enough to shred a few of Bumblebee's servos when he wasn't looking, or something.

Better yet, spike the yellow slagheap's drink with something that would have him up on a table blaring some stupid earth tune and doing some moronic earth dance so badly that he'd never live it down, even here.

Well, the night is young. Who knows? He might still get the chance. Especially since someone here obviously has a sense of humor. Barricade cannot help but snicker quietly to himself as he wanders up toward the stage in a leisurely fashion.

"So, I get the honor of presenting the award for the Most Heroic Autobot," he announces once he's taken center stage. "Otherwise known as The Autobot Most Likely To Get Slagged In A Spectacular And Futile Fashion. Hopefully by me." Oh yes, that is definitely a nasty smirk there.

"First, and most definitely least, that yellow rust heap too stupid to know when to just lay down and die, Bumblebee. Lord Megatron certainly did us all a favor when he shredded your vocalizer."

"Next, the wannabe leader who's no Prime, Xaaron. Nice troops, there, goldilocks. Maybe you should upgrade to some Spark Scouts or something? If they wouldn't kick your aft."

"Speaking of Spark Scouts, and proving that this award also doubles as the Dumbest Autobot award, Grimlock! Bravery is stupidity, so you must be the bravest Autobot to ever live."

"Next, the pipsqueak who isn't even as useful as his whining little Alternate and his useless little pop-gun, Holi. You Autobots should really be more careful with your toys and not let them get stolen so easily. Shortround might put him up on eBay next time. Would probably be an improvement, anyway."

"And in a nod to the geriatric demographic, we have Kup! Be careful, old-timer, or you may bust a rivet standing up."

"Now in a nod to the traitor demographic, everyone's favorite green and purple turncoat, Long Haul! I didn't realize that hiding behind a Guardian was considered 'brave'. Figures, for an Autobot."

"Next, a true paragon of virtue and polite deference, the utter sap, Alternate Swerve! At least your optics are the right color."

"And next, we have another Spark Scout, Wedge! What are you, like... ten?"

"And, finally, to round out the Spark Scout category - gee, you guys sure are fond of young things... Not healthy, really. You sickos. Wheelie! Because having to come up with something that rhymes with 'orange' at a moments notice is the pinnacle of heroism!"

[Kup]

"Oh, I'll bust something all right, you sorry excuse for a scrap-heap," Kup growls from his seat, where he has his legs stretched out and his feet resting on the table. Not the paragon of class, this one. "Or why don't you ask the alternate Nightbeat what he thinks about getting busted. That is, if you're not too busy playing, 'Bad Cop, Worse Cop' with that little bundle of iron shavings you have hanging off you most the time."

[Long Haul]

"I ain't hidin' behind him!" Long Haul protests. "I'm sittin' in his lap!" And, indeed, this is the truth.

Then he shrugs. "'Sides, just done my job."

[Omega Supreme]

Omega Supreme glares over at Barricade. Long Haul has made the right choice and stayed an Autobot - he's not a turncoat. Long Haul never had a Decepticon coat to begin with! Going against one's family and destiny takes courage.

He shifts position slightly, looking down at Long Haul protectively, and he mutters, "Decepticon: jealous. Suggestion: ignore."

[Grimlock]

Grimlock crosses his arms, growling. "Hmph! Pointy bad-cop-bot not know heroism if it come up and bit him in the skidplate..."

Hey...

A quick motion, and Grimlock transforms. Not silently, however. G1s have their traditional noise, and add to it the shredding of the tuxedo Grimlock appeared in. A terrible loss, but worth it in the end. Grimlock tromps over, leans over to Barricade's backside...

Chomp!

Grimlock raises up with a small mouthful of black metal, which he quickly spits out, it clattering off the stage. "Bleah! Bad-cop-bot taste bad!"

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OOC: Omnomnomnom-ing of Barricade done with player permission.

[Wedge]

"Spark Scout?" Wedge's out of his seat in less than a micro-second. Overalls or not, he pulls off a what he hopes to be is a slightly intimidating figure. "That's Build Team leader to you!" Whatever attempt at looking intimidating might be slightly ruined as the hard-hat slips over his optics. Off goes the hat then and Barricade is back on the end of a bright, green-opticked glare.

Now Wedge has forgotten completely about being nominated for some award.

[Barricade]

Silver claws tic softly against Barricade's cheek as he pantomimes a very bored yawn at the threats and replies thrown his way. Unimpressed infiltrator is unimpressed, and that bit with Wedge's hard hat slipping down over his optic? That actually garners an optic-rolling snort from the Saleen. Nice try, kid.

He stands his ground as Grimlock transforms and approaches, staring up at the dinobot with a bored expression. "Rather be a live victor than a dead he-- YEOW!"

That freak actually took a bite out of his skidplate!

"You didn't even win, you freak! That doesn't even make any slagging sense, now!" he exclaims, cupping his free hand over the new hole in his armor as he backs away.

"Slag this scrap! You can fetch your own slagging awards, then," he growls and stalk off, leaving behind three shining chunks of crystal that are carved to look suspiciously like grave markers, each with a different likeness etched into their surface: one for Kup, one for Xaaron, and one for the alternate Swerve.

"Congratulations, slaggers. I hope you choke on 'em." Why, yes, Barricade is sulking now.

[Kup]

Kup smirks faintly at Grimlock's treatment of Barricade, and snorts at Barricade's following sulking. Then he remains in his seat for several minutes. Finally, he shrugs and stands up, muttering, "It ain't 'heroism' to do you're damned job, but I s'pose we can't keep those things cluttering up the stage."

He climbs up onto the stage and picks up his 'tombstone,' then looks down at his co-winners. "You two want me to grab yours while I'm up here, or what?"

[Emirate Xaaron]

Emirate Xaaron is doomed to run into every single Decepticon cop during this blasted awards show, isn't he?

He ignored Barricade's insults, showing no reaction. However, he waves off Kup and says, "I'll join you and pick up my own award."

When he's nearer to up, he stands up straight and murmurs to Kup, "Four million years ago, and I'd have him recomissioned as a taxi."

[Swerve-3]

Swerve isn't one to call himself heroic. He simply does the best he can and always tries to make his best a little better than it was the day before. He serves and protects, he quietly subverts his more nefarious orders where he can, and he puts others before himself as an officer of the law always should. So the nomination, let alone actually receiving an award, is both staggering and humbling. Enough so, in fact, that he's much too stunned to give Barricade's cheap shots more than a moment's thought.

At first, all he can do is stare. This is, however, horrid behaviour. He takes a bracing intake to centre himself and gives Emirate Xaaron an apologetic look before standing. He gives the hem of his tunic a self-conscious tug – it keeps trying to ride up at his waist, something he finds very uncomfortable on his ventral assembly – then turns to Kup.

"That won't be necessary, sir," he calls, "but thank you. I'll be up there myself directly." He sidesteps to the aisle, with nods and apologies to anyone who might be sitting in the intervening seats, and strides sedately to the stage, back straight as a ramrod and a mild, faintly abashed smile on his face. Both Kup and the other Emirate Xaaron are accorded the same respectful nods he always gives them as he comes to a stop, folding his hands behind his back. "Sirs," he greets them. "It's an honour to receive this alongside you."