Kitchen Chemistry! aka Don't Drink The Kool-Aide

[Perceptor]

Month 3, week 3, day 3. Open thread. Come one, come all. Let's get schnockered.
------------------------------------

One of Perceptor's myriad of experiments he usually has percolating somewhere has yielded him enough energy that he doesn't feel guilty using it to tinker with his chemistry set again.

Oh, this isn't anything like the party he threw some time ago. nothing as extravagant as all that. Perceptor just happened to get lucky enough to produce a couple dozen extra cubes by merest (plot) happenstance, and since they aren't part of the normal rations, that means he has raw materials to work with in his never-ending quest to make their fuel as tasty as he can.

Optimus bakes? Perceptor brews. They should totally go into business together and start a space canteen where some weirdo human can fly in and shoot first. But that's a whole other franchise entirely, which means that it won't show up until the fourth or fifth season. Of course, the show gets canceled halfway through the fourth season, so this is all speculation, anyway.

He is, however, not doing his tinkering in his lab for once. No, today, he has carted his distillation apparatus and his cubes and beakers and flasks of weird, swirling, sparkly, smoking, steaming, frozen, and other assorted fluids and additives to the main mess, where he has proceeded to set up shop amidst the central grouping of tables.

Anyone who is entering the mess right about now, might even get treated to the sight of Perceptor decanting off some brilliant green, glowing fluid into a retort, which he then carefully measures into a beaker and spoons some glitter-like metallic dust into it. It gives off a puff of vapor with an audible whumph before Perceptor lifts the beaker to eye it critically against the lights of the mess.

[Holi]

There is, in fact, a tiny pair of optics watching Perceptor work his chemical wizardry – tiny optics shielded behind a bright blue visor. Holi spotted the doctor wheeling his contraption some while ago and, unable to resist the temptation, sneaked along behind to investigate as secret agent Holi. (He may have happened across a James Bond novel somebody entered into the database.) Now he sees that Perceptor is up to something terribly arcane and intriguing and far, far beyond little Holi's ken.

Of course, he's fascinated. He watches from his so-so hiding place tucked halfway behind a low divider wall, one that's probably waist-high for the average carbot, rapt as Perceptor pours that green stuff. When it results in a small, contained explosion, he can't quite stifle his amazed gasp. Then he promptly claps a hand over his mouth. Secret agents don't give themselves away like this!

[Mirage]

Sneaking about is Mirage's niche, so when he rounds a corner and sees Holi obviously sneaking after someone, Mirage naturally follows the small police car. Sneakily, of course. Once he realizes just who Holi is trailing, and what that person was carrying, well... of course Mirage continues following. Perceptor makes some of the best booze Mirage has ever tasted.

He does not sneak into the mess, however. Instead he saunters in, gives a wave to Perceptor, and then sidles over behind Holi, who is apparently so fixated on Perceptor that he doesn't notice Mirage.

Mirage pats Holi on the head. "Not bad at all. Have you been practicing?" the spy asks.

---

*posing and patting of Holi with permission.

[Drift]

Drift is beginning to wonder if Perceptor does requests. Because if so, he'd like to request a leash tracking device for a certain nerd so he stops wandering off the minute Drift turns his back, takes a nap, goes to his Brooding Place....

So, fine. Drift'll get some fuel and then go look for the nerd again. He was more than a little suspicious of some of those viney things in the Biosphere, anyway. Wouldn't surprise him in the least if they'd gotten a bit grabby.

Fuel first: pruning later.

So he's more than a little surprised to see Perceptor in the mess...apparently making bombs. Involving glitter.

Well, Drift always suspected glitter was evil.

Hope you're not easily distracted, Perceptor, because Drift is going to sidle right on up to you, after a wary nod at Mirage and...whoever that was.

"Food here isn't that bad you have to blow it up."

[Zippo]

No the food here wasn’t half bad at all, sure it lacked protein, carbohydrates, sucrose …plenty of vitamin DZ though, but technically the recommended daily intake for most of that, for a Preda Maximal was zero. As nutritious as energon was, it could get a little bland so blowing it up could add some much needed spice.

Zippo was watching rather intently what Peceptor was doing in the mess hall he had entered mere moments before the thread started, in the interest of safety, he was watching from near the ceiling at some distance. If history was going to be made here, he didn’t want to miss it.

OOC: skippable

[Perceptor]

For the most part, Perceptor behaves as if he is oblivious to his audience as he works, though he does flick a very brief glance over to the side as Holi gasps, noting both the Micromaster's and Mirge's presences. It's probably a good thing that he isn't quite as oblivious as he looks, because if he were, Drift would be wearing that beaker of sparkly greenish fluid. Instead, Perceptor merely flicks a brief look of amusement toward Drift.

"Not every exothermic reaction to an external catalyst is necessarily a detonation," he replies. Still too virulent a green. Perhaps more sulfur? Oh, and a dusting of aluminum on the surface!

"Bubbles, or no bubbles, Holi?" He already has an idea for a confection to whip up for the young Captain, but, still, input is always welcome.

Once the minerals have been added, he divides the contents between two receptacles and thrusts them out at Drift and Mirage. "Taste this."

[Scrapper]

Woot! Woot! If it ain't Scapper's favorite past of living in the Event Horizon! Perceptor testing out brand spankin' new chemical mixtures. Scrapper's not feelin' too picky today either. Maybe he'll even try a bit of energon. Maybe mixed with somethin' a little corrosive?

Scrapper walks in and takes a closer look and sees a few bots have already lined up. "Heya guys," Scrapper greets as he walks in. Scrapper sees, the other two handed a couple drinks and waits for Perceptor to inevitably cook up another. "What'cha got this time, Percy?" he asks, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

[Holi]

Holi is indeed completely unaware of Mirage until he finds he's the recipient of a gentle pat on the head. He squeaks in surprise and turns a sheepishly proud sort of grin to his fellow intel bot.

"You really think so?" he asks, hopeful. He isn't that tough, so being clever and sneaky would be handy and Mirage is one of the best they have at that, isn't he? His judgement on the matter must carry some weight then! But before Holi can wait with bated breath – figuratively speaking – for Mirage's answer, Perceptor distracts him. "Wh… oh! Um." He dithers openly, looking far too pensive for such light subject matter. Bubbles are serious business. Finally, shyly, as if expecting any of the others will laugh, "Bubbles? Please?"

[Mirage]

"Yes, I do think so, Holi" Mirage answer Holi, "Should I see if Bambi is willing to let you participate in our training sessions?"

Drift's wary nod gets an almost negligent nod in return, and Scrapper the same sort of wave. After giving Holi another soft pat on the head, Mirage moves over to accept the cup offered him.

"Experimenting again, Perceptor?" Mirage swirls the fuel in the cup and tests its bouquet, "Not that I'm complaining. There are certainly worse hobbies one might pursue." He takes a small sip of the mixture, and his brow furrows.

"Hrm." Another sip, and this time it's fairly obvious he's rolling the fluid over his taste receptors a few time.

Finally, he declares, "Too acidic for my tastes, but not bad. I think it would benefit from some aging in a cesium cask, however."

[Drift]

Drift is almost disappointed by Perceptor's self control. Not that he fancies wearing green glittery goop but he was rather looking forward to demonstrating his reflexes in dodging out of the way.

He would never say he didn't deserve it, though. He is a jerk infinitely aware of his jerkitude.

Which doesn't mean he isn't jealous of Holi's blatant fanbotting of Mirage. Sure, fine, the blue mech has his good qualities. But the ability to stab is sadly underrated around here.

More to life than being smart and charming and good looking. ...isn't there? Drift would not know.

He looks suspiciously at the beaker in his hand and is about to demur, when Mirage samples his.

Well then. If Mirage can drink it, so can Drift. >:[

Drift chucks back the contents, because anything Mirage can do? He can do more. Uh...except turn invisible. Whatever.

Drift starts something between a choke and a cough. "It's...uh....strong?"

((ooc: any ribbing of Mirage is solely because Drift is a jealous jerk. No harm intended.))

[Zippo]

Sadly no explosions. On the whole Zippo didn’t really care for explosions, they generally meant danger, but danger on the other hand usually meant good history and that was something he could sink his teeth into. People getting drunk on homebrew didn’t make for good long term stuff that would go into the archives but in the short term, there might be something to provide valuable iTube fodder. It was to this end that the flying Maximal pulled out a datapad and set it to record, he had no idea what to expect from these guzzlers…and Holi, he hadn’t been among them long enough, but he was hoping to get a good laugh.

He had to agree with Mirage’s sentiment; a drink could hardly be called “fine” if it hadn’t been properly aged. To be honest he found himself thirsty for the enriched energon, on the one hand it was homebrew, usually potent, not to be trusted. On the other hand it was homebrew, usually potent…and potent.

[Perceptor]

"A bit of everything, really, Scrapper," Perceptor replies to the Constructibot. Now, where had he set that flask, again-- Oh yes! With a flourish, he pulls out a tall, graduated flask filled with a thick teal fluid, pouring off some of it into a fresh beaker. That, in turn, gets half again the amount of a clear, thin liquid, before getting frothed with a heated energon infusion. "I have been experimenting with bio-fuels gleaned from the products of the Biosphere, Scrapper. Try this - a bio-diesel and ethanol blend with an energon carrier - and let me know how it is?"

As soon as he sets that beaker on the counter for Scrapper, he is already sorting through his cart of containers. "Bubbles, bubbles, where are, ah! I thought you might enjoy this, Holi. I stabilized a naptha matrix in a poly-glycine blend to create an additive that is both chewy, and creates a pleasant fizz when suspended in a bromine-rich blend." He is carefully measuring more fuels and blends into another glass, using a large spoon at one point to create colorful layers that form a rainbow parfait. With each layer, he adds a smattering of brightly glowing orange "pearls" that remain suspended throughout the container.

"Like so," he proclaims as he carefully sets the beaker down where Holi can easily reach it. Already, tiny bubbles of gas were condensing upon the pearls, gathering together until they reached enough mass to break free and float to the surface, trailing little comet tails of the various layers in their wake.

"One of my energy condensing experiments was unusually effective," he replies to Mirage with a small shrug. "I thought a bit of variety would not go amiss with the largess. But cesium, you say?" He pauses, dropping his chin into the cup of one hand as he considers it. "Ye-ees, I do believe that would work. I shall have to construct a cask later, then."

With a light shrug, he glances upward, spotting Zippo. "Dimorphodon macronyx, yes?" he asks. "I do not believe that I have made your acquaintance yet. Do you possess the standard Maximal dietary requirements and restrictions?" Basically, just what can Perceptor offer you without poisoning you, anyway?

And, don't worry, Drift. There will still be plenty of chances for you to show off your dodging skills. Like now, as Perceptor turns suddenly to rummage through his cart, having, apparently, forgotten that Drift was standing between he and it. Have an armful of scientist, Drift. Or, um, dodge.

[Scrapper]

Scrapper eyes the flask, scratching his bottom jaw. "Bio-fuels, huh?" he asks slowly. Now Scrapper didn't quite understand what the science-bot meant by bio-fuels exactly, but the mention of the biosphere gave him the idea that it was some sorta healthy type drink. ...Which necessarily mean it's bad, Scrapper guesses. He's still kinda skeptical, though. With a shrug, he chugs it down and to his surprise it tastes pretty....refreshing! Kinda a warm zing to it due to the Energon infusion.

"Hey, nice one Percy!" Scrapper nods, giving Perceptor a thumbs up. "Kinda gotta warm tingly feelin'. Y'know, like goin' to a jacuzzi after takin' a dip in da pool." he continues, hoping the analogy that his currently drowsy player had come with made sense.

[Holi]

Holi spends much of his time trying very, very hard to be professional and mature, because that's what proper Autobot officers are (or so he likes to think). And because it impresses Clipper. But Clipper isn't here for reinforcement and Holi quite forgets that there are others here who might judge him when all his hard work goes flying out the airlock after Perceptor presents him with that fascinating drink. His smile could light a hundred of the Event Horizon as he carefully takes beaker in hand and most of that smile is awe and gratitude.

"Thank you, doctor, sir," he murmurs, admiring the drink cradled in both hands for several seconds before he dares take a sip. The tangy, fizzy concoction earns a delighted and appreciative sigh before he takes another sip. As he does so, his little optics drift toward… Drift. Drift, who seems both proud and humble in his own gruff way. He rather reminds Holi of another Autobot far, far away from here; an Autobot who owed Star Saber his life and was unashamed of that. An Autobot Holi came to call friend.

With an unexpected pang that makes him feel like he's about to cry (and Micromasters like him can really put on the water works), Holi remembers how much he misses everyone back home. Even Fire the jerk. He can't quite stop the first sniffle, but he quashes the rest by taking a respectable swig of his drink and really chewing on the little bubble things. And he looks again at Drift.

Drift is, of course, not Greatshot. Obviously. But Holi and Greatshot got along fine. Surely, thinks the young captain, he and Drift will get along. Perhaps they'll even be friends. Holi would introduce himself, but Perceptor takes that moment to try running into the swordsman. Holi cringes instead.

[Mirage]

Mirage arches a browridge. It his Signature Look^tm. He assumes this look twice. First at the way Drift downs his drink and then at Perceptor informing them that they are drinking plant extracts. Perceptor gets a little bit of a frown for good measure.

"Perceptor. Dear. Did you just trick me into drinking health fuel?"

Mirage asks this question in the same way a child might ask if he's been tricked into eating vegetables.

"At least it doesn't leave a furry feeling on the palate," he says, setting his drink down pointedly on the table.