...And Call Him George

[Dark Skyfire]

((OOC: I'm cool with waiting--I've been so fail I can hardly say anything!))

Skyfire may sit on you, Bonecrusher. That might teach you some respect. or get you frisky but let's hope not.

"E-excuse me?" Skyfire: Not exactly used to getting bullied by mechs that he has to bend over to pat on the head. "I'm afraid I can't...I'm trying to secure this rooooooooo--?!"

Well, so much for that, as a silver skittering ball that seemed some kind of obscenity-spouting toy (who would invent such a thing?!) goes bowling toward his feet. He tries to scoop the little thing up with one hand to get a closer look.

Scientific curiosity may not kill any cats here today, but Skyfire's distracted. It may kill some Barricades.

[Duskwing]

The dark blue and purple Seeker looks up at the dark gray and purple shuttle-former. "Yeah? Well I got a bent turbine blade to pick wit' one of dem guys. Youse look like dat other guy, only different color, you know dat?"

"HEY! Which one of you maroons futzed up my game?" Duskwing shouts past Dark Skyfire's wing, then reflexively throws an arm out to block or shoot the incoming projectile; if Frenzy evades Dark Skyfire, he might land in Duskwing's hand. Or he might not.

[Barricade]

Evade? Frenzy doesn't plan on evading anyone. No, there's this bigger-than-usual Bulk reaching with his big-aft mitt for him, and Frenzy is in no mood to play toy for anyone. Not even Barricade at this moment.

A moment before Skyfire's hand can reach him, Frenzy manages to get his feet mostly under himself, at least enough to make a jump for it. All four hands grasp onto that smooth, dark armor, leaving faint scratches in the finish as he scrambles with hand and foot, and perhaps even teeth a time or two, up the big shuttle's body, scaling him like a black and purple tree.

The cursing never really stops, either. And if anyone could do that with their feet, an egg-timer, three jumper cables, and an Andusian Glee Squad? They would have broken at least three laws of physics and about seventeen laws of order and decency.

"MorON, dumbass," he hisses as he finally manages to perch himself on Skyfire's head, clinging to the side furthest from Duskwing. "Mor. On. Toldja how'ta fix it. Stupid kret'chak."

He only has a sliver of attention - one optic out of the four - fixed on Duskwing, though. The other three are fixed upon Barricade as he tries to figure out how he can get back in there and help the Saleen out.

The Saleen who just took a 'Crusher Fastball to the face. On a positive note, the punch sends him flying out of reach again. The trick will be seeing if he can get his visual processors reboot and synced in time to avoid Bonecrusher's next punch.

Barricade deploys his flail with a howl, swinging it in the general direction of the Buffalo's roar to buy himself some time.

---

ooc: scrambling up and perching on Skyfire done with permission.

[Bonecrusher/Bane Crusher]

It's not a proper Decepticon spat if at least two people don't get hurt! Not that Bonecrusher likes getting hurt, but he'd really hate it if Barricade just laid down and took his beating. It's not nearly as satisfying if they don't fight back a little. It's when they fight back too much that he gets really irritated. Bonecrusher is a difficult Transformer to please.

He's also much too busy tangling with Barricade to pay attention to anything happening around the doorway. Charging to once again close the ground between him and his target, Bonecrusher raises and arm to try and - likely painfully - block Barricade's flail from hitting anything less armored, intending to keep barreling forwards to body-check the Saleen into the wall. Smashing people into walls is always fun.

[Dark Skyfire]

(ooc: seriously? bookmarks hate me.)

"Now," Skyfire says, sternly, at the chittering little silver mech bouncing on his head, "that sort of language is unnecessary and unproductive." Also, likely to get the little mech squished. Most mechs did not appreciate being called morons.

Having a Frenzy stapled to his head makes it difficult to talk--the little thing's limbs keep somehow catching on his mouth or up his nasal plating. Still, he tries. The poor thing is probably just scared. He turns to Duskwing. "I'm afraid your conflict resolution will have to wait. It looks like they are currently, uh, occupied."

Occupied with beating the cybersnot out of each other. Really, this is uncivilized.

"Mechs!" Skyfire calls, hoping that the volume might get their attention. Starscream had told him just to keep them from killing each other, but...they seemed to be hurtling headlong toward that goal. This had to be stopped. "Please. I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding."

...involving kittens?

[Duskwing]

"Yeah, you said to terminate it, you little glitch! Dat killed my game and messed the save file up--now I gotta..." Duskwing's snarl by way of explanation trails off at Darkfire's words. (Left out is the part where he terminated EVERYTHING instead of just the kittens. Duskwing is an IT service rep's ultimate nightmare.)

"Huh? Conflict whatcha-who? Dat's what they're doing. Resolvin' their conflict." He squints up at Dark Skyfire. "You look kinda like dat other guy, only darker, and you talk like a fraggin' 'Bot. The non-Wrecker kind. 'Sides, I don't think Boney's gonna answer to 'please'. He's crazy. You gonna have to go in there and knock heads together to make 'em stop--like the Big Worm did when Lugnut flipped his lid. Youse even bigger than he is."

[Barricade]

Frenzy flips Duskwing a very rude gesture that he'd learned in the lowest dregs of Kaon, that even someone from another reality should be able to interpret as being less than flattering to the recipient. Skyfire, as an explorer, might even be able to recognize some of the language Frenzy is smarting off with now. It involves the intelligence of the lesser gooze mold from some distant world whose name is all but unpronounceable, and how said organism is practically a Nobel laureate compared to certain purple Seekers in the area. Or he could just be having a seizure. It's difficult to say for sure.

Barricade, however, is rumbling out some choice language of his own. His visual cluster reboots just in time to see, as well as feel, when his flail slams into Bonecrusher's arm. With a quick yank, Barricade sets the spokes to spinning as the chain wraps itself up and around Bonecrusher's arm; the chain may break, but those spikes should feel real nice as they bite into Crusher's face, if he maintains his forward velocity. Setting one foot against the wall behind him, Barricade ducks, hoping to slip under the charging Buffalo rather than get steamrolled and slammed between a rockhead and a hard wall.

[Bonecrusher/Bane Crusher]

Bonecrusher snarls and curses right back at Barricade as the flail twists around his arm. He is not going to let those spikes dig into his face, however, it's already ugly enough without gathering more scars. He shifts his weight mid-charge so that he slams into the wall shoulder-first instead of arm-first, and slightly to the side of where Barricade was, giving the Saleen an even better opening to slip away from.

The wall comes off worse for wear than he does, and after a brief moment of being stunned by the impact, Bonecrusher is turning once again to seek out the object of his ire, his long arms swiping at Barricade with clawed fingers.

[Dark Skyfire]

Most of what Duskwing says to Skyfire sails more or less over his head. Under his head? It's a metaphor. Metaphors don't have to be physically possible, right?

Except the part about having to separate them. "Gentlemechs." And...Frenzy. He tries to swipe Frenzy aside--at least so he can see clearly. "Please. Hurting each other doesn't solve anything, does it?"

C-can they even hear him over the snarling and cursing and crashing into walls? His orders had been to prevent them from killing each other, but...it was awfully hard to tell. And there was a LOT of property damage going on here. Surely Commander Starscream would not be pleased with that.

He steps into the room, reaching out. If he needs to, he will grab each of these mechs by the scruff of their necks and shake them until they can be civilized. "Stop or I'll...get involved!"

[Duskwing]

Duskwing stares at Frenzy, noticeably impressed. "Y'oughta translate dat. I dunno what you're saying, but youse sure sayin' it!"

Then Dark Skyfire's words penetrate. He stares at the big shuttle-former, his mouth open in an expression of dull surprise. He stares some more. Then he slaps himself in the forehead with his open palm. "Who let dis guy in the Cons?"

He turns his head sharply and glares at Frenzy. "Knock the crap off, slag-monkey. Get your boss to stand down if Boney stands down, 'cause it's gonna suck ersatz energon fumes if one-a the big guys gets called down here, see?"

"Slaggit, Dorkfire--youse gotta be more forceful than dat! Dey ain't gonna hear you, and dey ain't gonna respec' you 'less you act like dey oughta. I dunno where you been, but dese guys, they ain't Bots. We ain't Bots. We don't play nicey-nicey unless everybody knows dat we will incinerate you if you frag around, see? Like Shockwave or Megatron--if Megs asks nicely, everybody gonna jump and do it real polite-like, see? If, uh, Vortex or Fleetwind asks nicely, dey just gonna be ignored, or run over. Is you even listening? Like dis:"

Duskwing steps up with Dark Skyfire and yells, "HEY! CHILL THE SLAG OUT 'FORE SOMEONE GETS SCOURGE OR HELLBENDER DOWN HERE! YOU ALREADY GOT DARKY HERE SLAGGED OFF--" Two laser shots into the ceiling, bringing down tiles on everyone, punctuate his yell. "BONEY, IF SCOURGE GETS INVOLVED, HE'S GONNA PUT YOU BACK IN A CELL, AN' HE'S GONNA GIVE THE REST OF US DOUBLE--TRIPLE--QUAD WATCHES, SO FULL-STASIS IT!"

This may not have been the cleverest idea Duskwing ever had... on the other hand, when dealing with Cons tougher than you are, invoke Cons tougher than they are.

[Barricade]

Frenzy manages to dodge whatever grasping Skyfire does to try and catch him. In his defense, he's not trying to climb on Skyfire's face, really. Mainly just his head, but keeping away from Duskwing is his biggest priority, not making sure his foot stays out of Skyfire's nose.

And then Duskwing tell Frenzy to make Barricade behave.

Congratulations, Duskwing; you've managed to utterly flabbbergast the little blade-monkey. Frenzy freezes for a whole three seconds, every joint locked, every servo stopped, as all four optics rotate to focus on Duskwing. And then he begins to laugh.

Not just little chuckles, but maniacal giggles, and every claw and finger and toe release suddenly as he doubles over with laughter, falling off of his perch on Skyfire's head as he sputters helplessly about, "w-want ME t-t-t m-make HIM!"

If Frenzy hits the floor? He's just going to bounce to a stop and roll over, pounding the floor with helpless guffaws. If he doesn't hit the floor, then whomever it is that catches him will have their hands full of a writhing little ball of caterwauling laughter. Really, the idea of Frenzy ordering Barricade around like a drone should floor anyone.

Meanwhile, Barricade is using Bonecrusher's intimate introduction to the wall to slip behind him, get out of reach of those long, flailing arms and hands. If he could manage to grab the mine sweeping arm and wrap it around Bonecrusher's neck like a choke collar, that would be even better. In lieu of that, he's going to try and scramble up Bonecrusher's back, perch on his shoulders, and redecorate his face, starting with that one good optic.

"Enough yellin'," He snarls in Duskwing's direction as he snags a handful of plating and uses both their momentum to swing himself up. "Start smackin'!"

Of course, this just means that he'll have to watch for a "helpful" fist from Dorkfire and Duskwing now, too. Eh, just makes it more exciting. He hooks the spikes on his toes into a couple of seams along Bonecrusher's back and slings an arm around the lug's shoulder as he flails for that good optic with one clawed fist.

[Bonecrusher/Bane Crusher]

Bonecrusher can't hear Skyfire, but he does catch someone annoying yelling at him. It's distracting. And if Scourge doesn't want Bonecrusher to try and beat on Barricade, he can take it up with Starscream.

"HOW ABOUT YOU SHOVE A FIST THROUGH YOUR VOCAL- Huaaaaargh!" His retort to Duskwing is cut off as he suddenly finds himself with a spiky bundle of Barricade on his back and a fist smashes into his eye. He quickly gives up any attempt at conversation in favor of wordless howling and bellowing.

He swings his arms around to try and claw wildly at the 'Con on his back and his mine sweeping arm begins flailing as he attempts to knock the Saleen from his perch.

[Dark Skyfire]

((ooc: don't die of shock now, y'all. Me, posting BEFORE a time-out smack. And Frenzyflinging by permission.))

"No shooting! We're on a ship in space! You could damage pressurization!" Whoever the dark jet was, he seemed awfully ignorant of Space Investigation.

It's okay, Duskwing, Skyfire's beginning to wonder the same thing about you. How did you get into the Decepticons, especially with that mouth of yours?! He'd say something about the off-color language and those shots, but just at the moment has a mouth full of Frenzy-foot. Which for the record, tastes awful.

He manages to catch the spiny silver mass of Frenzy as it falls. It's instinct, and, well, Skyfire IS a bit on the fast side. However, he hadn't formulated much of a plan so he ends up whipping the spiky, snarling mass at the two combatants.*

"NOW," he booms, hoping that volume might help. "CEASE." He reaches down, attempting to scruff them both.

*it's up to Frenzy-mun to decide where/on whom Frenzy lands.

[Duskwing]

Bonecrusher's wildly flailing arm catches Duskwing across the cockpit and knocks him sprawling; the dark blue Seeker skids across the room on his back and fetches up against the wall.

Duskwing rises to his knees and pushes himself back erect. Red optics narrow and flare brightly; a snarl of hate crosses his face as the dark rage planted by Rodimus-3 blooms once again. "Fragger. You shouldna done that."

Forgetting why he came down here in the first place, forgetting even his attempts to brace up Dark Skyfire, he flings himself into the fray, nearly as enraged as Bonecrusher himself. He's here to hurt someone, preferably Bonecrusher. Duskwing's immediate goal: pin down that flailing arm and blast it off at the elbow joint with his arm laser.

[Barricade]

Surprisingly, Frenzy never feels himself hit the floor. He's too busy laughing to realize that Skyfire actually caught him.

Right before Skyfire then chucks him like a spikey football of doom!

If he were more in control of himself, Frenzy might be indignant. Then again, he's not even sure where his feet have been, and he's the one using them, so really? Who could blame Dorkfire?

Barricade growls with satisfaction as Bonecrusher's good optic comes away with a fistful of dangling wires, and he shifts to go for another satisfying handful, when he becomes aware of a spikey ball hurtling precariously in his direction. There's no thought between the desire and the action, merely a flex of his toes and the hiss of firing pistons, and one silver-taloned hand flashes up and out, catching Frenzy before the hacker can end up crushed between them in the fray.

He'll blame that distraction for why he suddenly finds himself scruffed by a very large black hand.