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Post by Vortex/Valerie Wei-Li-Zhao on Jul 7, 2012 10:59:10 GMT -5
OOC: Month 8, week 1, day 1. Semi-private.
Valerie needed some new clothes. Her casual attires were a bit too well-worn for a long while but she hadn’t had the money to replace them until now. New boots, new tops, new pants and jackets...
And also new underwear.
It was the first on the list of things to do by virtue of underwear shopping being annoying and embarrassing and just needing to be done quickly. And also because she knows she’s under surveillance all the time and while every other time she was okay with that, underwear shopping was just. No.
The woman was currently hovering in one of the colorful isles that made up the the bra section of the underwear shop, brown jacket pulled up to hide the faded green bruising on her neck. Not much she can do about the badass cuts and stitches across half her face though. She'd gotten a lot of weird looks for that already, as if having to shop for underwear under probable surveillance wasn't enough.
And why were all the A-cups so obnoxiously colorful and frilly anyways? Valerie didn’t have anything against blinding neon leopard print, but there was a whole isle dedicated to just that and the rest seemed to be either plain neon colors or heart prints and laces and ribbons. At least the neon leopard prints were on sale; the sports bras that were comfortable, plain and her size all seemed to be in the forty bucks and up range, which was just ridiculous.
Expensive comfortable and plain colored sports bras or cheap and comfortable neon leopard prints? She picks a brilliant green with royal blue leopard spots off a rack and eyes it.
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Post by Whirligig/Wednesday Gilgamesh on Jul 7, 2012 19:12:58 GMT -5
Wednesday isn't looking for women's underwear. He tried that once because they come in the most awesome colours and patterns, but it turns out that women's underwear just aren't designed for men. Who knew?
So he's not actually in the women's underwear section garnering odd looks when anyone realizes he's a man - his short height and long hair mean that he's sometimes mistaken for a woman from behind, especially when he's wearing a long coat that hides his slim hips and relatively wide shoulders. Instead he gets to garner odd looks for looking through the skirts in the section next to the women's underwear section!
He doesn't care what anyone says. He needs a rainbow polka-dotted skirt more than he has ever needed anything.
Wednesday glances up from looking through the rack to sigh enviously at the woman picking out a leopard-print bra. He considers trying to get breast implants just so he can wear awesome bras, then realizes that he'd probably get arrested if he tried to show off his awesome bras in public. Stupid human society, discriminating against his gorgeous, round breasts. No wait, he doesn't actually have those. Right.
He looks back down at the rack of skirts, idly wondering about where that bra lady might have got her stitches. Maybe it was doing something cool, like falling off a mountain or wrestling a coyote.
Or fighting a superhero.
The skirt falls from Wednesday's hands as his brain suddenly clicks with recognition. Spinning around to point dramatically at Valerie, he shouts out, "YOU!"
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Post by Vortex/Valerie Wei-Li-Zhao on Jul 7, 2012 20:34:55 GMT -5
Valerie was busy checking the size tag and doesn’t really register the clatter of a hanger hitting the floor in the distance. It was tricky trying to remember what size bra you wore when you hadn’t bought any in a long time. She was about to take it to the changing room when a man- wait, woman- not it was a man- suddenly shouts and points at her from the skirt racks.
Val blinks, neon leopard print bra dangling from one hand.
That voice sounded familiar but she can’t quite put her finger on where-
Oh wait.
“Nope,” she answers him, putting the bra back on the rack and quickly turning to walk away.
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Post by Whirligig/Wednesday Gilgamesh on Jul 7, 2012 20:48:55 GMT -5
"Nope?" Wednesday says, looking confused and scratching the back of his head. Then he shakes his head and jogs after her. "Hey, you're not allowed to say 'nope'! You don't even know why I was 'you'-ing at you for yet!"
Or at least she's not supposed to. She never got to take off his amazing mask, how could she possibly have discovered his super secret identity! It could not possibly have anything to do with him being an uncontrollable blabbermouth with an annoying, distinctive voice.
Clearly he needs to start packing his mouth full of gravel when he goes superheroing.
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Post by Vortex/Valerie Wei-Li-Zhao on Jul 8, 2012 11:27:33 GMT -5
“I know trouble when I see it’,” Valerie answers nonchalantly, stubbornly stuffing her hands into her pockets. Her first instinct had also been to blast said trouble to the opposite end of the mall, but Val knows that that’s trouble too. Impulse control had done the woman wonders really.
She glances over her shoulder and frowns at the man running up to her, picking up her pace. “Hey, I said ‘nope’, not ‘chase after me’! Ya deaf or something?” And Wednesday wondered why she’d wanted to keep her helmet on. Some villains wanted to shop for their underwear without being harassed, thank you!
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Post by Whirligig/Wednesday Gilgamesh on Jul 8, 2012 13:06:26 GMT -5
"Hey, I'm not trouble!" Wednesday says. "You're trouble!"
As he passes the rack, he snatches up the bright green leopard-print bra that the supervillainess incognito had been looking at. For a nefarious evil-doer, Valerie sure does have good taste!
"Which is why it's my moral obligation not to leave you unsupervised." Mostly it's because he enjoys annoying people, and if he can't annoy a known super-powered villain, who can he annoy? "Also you forgot this."
With that said, he stretches the bra out between his hands and slingshots it at Valerie's head.
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Post by Vortex/Valerie Wei-Li-Zhao on Jul 8, 2012 13:44:23 GMT -5
The bra smacks into her face and Valerie freezes on the spot, shoulders hunched and one of the neon straps dangling over her face. Oh. Oh that was just.
It a takes a good minute of struggling to not just level the mall. Clothes swung on their racks in the sudden inexplicable breeze. A distant crash of a dummy falling off its stand was followed by the surprised yelp of a customer. Yeah, impulse control was still a bit of a work-in-progress for Val.
“... You really wanna do this here?” she grumbles most put-uponly, picking the item of clothing off of her face and glaring at Wednesday.
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Post by Whirligig/Wednesday Gilgamesh on Jul 8, 2012 14:20:03 GMT -5
Teehee, I made her mad, the little voice in Wednesday's head says, instead of, Oh wow, I just ticked off the lady with superpowers, maybe I should back away slowly and stay out of trouble.
He gets a little prickle of excitement as the mysteeerious breeze sends his bangs and long ponytail whipping around, but he schools his stupid grin into a look of complete innocence and confusion.
"Do what here?" Wednesday asks. "Pick out bras? Gee, I'd love too! You have no idea how hard it is to find a bra in my size!"
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Post by Vortex/Valerie Wei-Li-Zhao on Jul 8, 2012 15:03:35 GMT -5
“Check out the teen’s section,” Valerie shrugs, draping the abused bra over her elbow before pointedly turning away to pick a lime green pair of underwear off of the rack. “I’m sure they got something for ‘flat’ and ‘extremely creepy’.”
The teen’s section probably had even more garishly colored if rather less frilly undergarments, come to think of it.
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Post by Whirligig/Wednesday Gilgamesh on Jul 8, 2012 16:21:35 GMT -5
Wednesday laughs loudly, then splays his hands over his pecs. "Me? Flat? I got no idea what you're talking about! You're just jealous of my full and luscious jubblies."
He stops groping himself and lets his hands drop to his sides, nodding approvingly at Valerie's choice of underwear. "But you sure are some kind of pot, ain'tcha?
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Post by Vortex/Valerie Wei-Li-Zhao on Jul 8, 2012 17:05:56 GMT -5
The pec groping earns an entirely unsurprised if slightly bemused look from Val. This is not going to turn into a boob-envy anime episode, Wednesday, no matter how luscious your jubblies were.
“At least I’m not lurking around and bothering complete strangers when they’re shopping for underwear. My creepy is more refined,” Val sniffs in a properly snobby imitation of... some weird purple and white space cow? The woman blinks, thoughts abruptly derailed. What?
Shaking her head, she glowers at Wednesday as she makes her way to the cashier. “You really just gonna follow me ‘round all day?”
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Post by Whirligig/Wednesday Gilgamesh on Jul 8, 2012 17:29:11 GMT -5
Wednesday snorts loudly at that. "Hah! Refined! Yeah, okay, we can call it that Ms. Pervy Perv."
Strutting cheerfully next to her, he chirps, "Sure am! I have a duty to make sure you don't do anything horrible to innocent people! Because I know who you aaaare-" He makes his voice all spooky and wiggles his fingers. "-Miss... um. Person."
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Post by Vortex/Valerie Wei-Li-Zhao on Jul 8, 2012 18:09:20 GMT -5
Valerie stops in her tracks and casually tries to wrap her arm around Wednesday’s shoulder, grip a bit tight enough to be painful.
“I remember someone helping me burn down a park,” she purrs softly, just loud enough for Wednesday to hear, a toothy grin lighting her face. “I remember someone blowing up a helicopter in front of poor man’s bait store. And jus’ now, it looked like this good buddy was trying to piss me off in a mall cram packed with innocent people.”
“But you know what? I’m just here for some clothes today n’ if you leave me alone, this place n’ the lives inside it won’t have to be wrecked.” Val laughs then and if she’d managed to get her arm around him, she will pat him heavily on the caught shoulder before letting go. “I could jus’ call mall security on ya, but that ain’t half as fun.”
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Post by Whirligig/Wednesday Gilgamesh on Jul 8, 2012 18:20:22 GMT -5
"Haha, whoever that guy is sure sounds like some kind of huge jerk!" Wednesday says, not seeming particularly bothered by Valerie's tight grip - Aww, she has a crush on me! flits through his head, followed by disappointment at his lack of opportunity to share this amazing pun when she lets him go again.
"Well, I could just leave you alone, but..." He gives Valerie his most obnoxious grin. "But that ain't half as fun!"
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Post by Vortex/Valerie Wei-Li-Zhao on Jul 8, 2012 18:50:31 GMT -5
She looks at Wednesday. Then she looks away with a shrug and steps up to the cashier, placing the under garments on the desk and taking a few bills out of her pocked. At least it wasn’t rush hour; the lines then would have been something annoying.
“You’re a pretty bad hero,” she comments, amusement underlining her voice.
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