Interveiw with the Ecdysiast

[Rattrap]

Don't take it the wrong way, Farlane. Rattrap just ranks traitors marginally lower than Predacons on the ladder of Things Rattrap Hates.

"If it ain't the pay," he drawls, "or the unforgivin' vacuum outside the hull, what's keepin' you here?" Praxus odds are that Farlane won't say anything to really convince Rattrap, but maybe she'll give him something that another 'bot higher up the food chain will swallow.

[Farlane/Faye Fairlane]

"Girlfriend," and here comes the part where he goes into gushy boyfriend mode. "She is sooo amazing, you have no idea. You know legs? You ain't seen legs til' you've seen hers. Magnificent, endless legs," this punctuated by enthusiastic hand movements outlining said legs.

"And her voice is so cool, especially when we, like, talk?" Farlane says this as if talking was a new revelation. "It's like listening to the sound of a brand new engine and I can listen that aaaallll day. Seriously. Aaaaallllll daaaaayyy."

Insert a paragraph more of endless, sappy fluffage here.

"So, yeah, I wanna get back to her."

[Rattrap]

Girlfriend? With nice legs? On one hand, Rattrap fully understands the appeal of having a cute chick-bot back home. On the other hand, all it takes is one messy misunderstanding that may or may not have involved a bare-wire dancer, which leads to a breakup, which leads to changing sides out of spite but she still drunk dials you late at night to scream about how you've ruined her life and she'll never forgive you but she still has "feelings" for you and maybe we should give it one more try, and could you pick her up because she's lost in the slums.

Then he hung up on her and never saw her again.

That warm and fuzzy recollection blots out most of Farlane's gushing over the other half, so Rattrap just mutters something uncharitable and adds a note to the file.

[Farlane/Faye Fairlane]

... Farlane would be reluctant to call her 'cute'. More like huge. And rather terrifying. That aside, Rattrap would totally be getting sympathy pattings if Farlane could read minds. On the other hand, it was probably better off that Farlane didn't read minds and stayed that way.

In the meantime, he'd gone off on a bit of a ramble.

"... now I owe the dude a camera haulin' job - he never said when, the vague bastard, so maybe he's just messin' with me. Because, you know, he's a vague bastard. It's like, dude, I know you're a drunken git with minimalistic communications skills, but if you're payin' me to take pictures of your weird body parts at least tell me, you know, the time."

[Rattrap]

Ramble away; Rattrap set his audio circuits on Primal Lecture Mode not long after the part about the levi-train conductor. He just picks at his teeth, then jots down "hobbyist photographer" once there's a long enough pause he figures Farlane is done with that subject. Then he heaves a long-suffering sigh and leans back in his chair again.

"Guess dat's all I got for ya," he says. "Fer now." His optics narrow and brighten as he adds, "Just watch yer step." If Rattrap could exude distrust, it'd be as potent as his body odor, he's sure, but being wary of the newcomer has never steered him wrong before. Sometimes the new guy turns out okay and nothing's the worse for wear. And sometimes the new guy is a slag-sucking saurian you swear is hellbent on ending you in painful and messy ways.

Ah, but there's no Dinobutt here. Just the Dinobots, and when they aren't accidentally almost stepping on him, they aren't that bad. A little quicker in the processors and they could be some of his mining buddies.

"…Ehh, one more thing, actually," Rattrap blurts out. Instead of picking up the data pad, he rests his hands on his stomach, fingers interwoven. "Just outta curiosity. Did you always look like a sugarplum fairy?" 'Cause he hasn't seen anyone from that reality who looks this… what's the word he wants. Tarted up.

[Farlane/Faye Fairlane]

"With heels this high?" Farlane showily kicks one of said heels out, "What d' yah think I do?" He smirks and hops off the table, cheerful tailfins perking in tandem with his movements to avoid banging into anything. Technically, the heels were reinforced and he could do energetic dancing of various kinds on them just fine. Needed to watch out for sewer grates, though.

He's about to switch back to his smiley self, say his witty goodbye and stride out of the room to infect the rest of the ship with his magnificently pink presence- when Rattrap pops the question.

"Naw," he laughs after a moment, "I was a total hunk a few years back." This accompanied by a demonstrative 'macho' pose, of course. "Mathematical perfection in lines and angles, baby!" Farlane pauses a beat after that, a sly smile curling itself on his face as he looks down at Rattrap. "Why yah askin'? Y' like lines and angles?"

[Rattrap]

Full-on body mods aren't exactly the biggest thing in Rattrap's time – much less a frame swap – so that answer nets a queer look, one brow ridge curving high. Still, he just gives Farlane a cool smirk even as he's trying to sort out the why of something that… that… weird. Wouldn't catch him dead switching to something that curvy.

"I like what I like, Bubble-butt," he says – he knows, he got a good look at it from down here, "and it ain't you." He leans back in his chair again and flicks his fingers at the door before stretching and folding his hands up behind his head. Never been one for much standing on ceremony, has Rattrap.

[Farlane/Faye Fairlane]

Farlane has had far worse rejections although it was still tempting to snobbily huff and storm out of the room, if only for show. Instead he lets himself snort in amusement.

"Was nice talkin' with you too, pipsqueak," he says as he leaves, waving a hand over his shoulder.

OOC: Done?

[Rattrap]

OOC: Looks like it!