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Post by Emirate Xaaron on Jun 3, 2010 11:00:41 GMT -5
Emirate Xaaron frowns a bit and then suggests, more brightly, "Yes, looking around would be good."
He settles back down and continues, "I think I'll just skip what happened on Cheyne for now - the third team looked on Pequod, a watery world. Longtooth, Pincher, and Doubleheader didn't find the Matrix, but they found that the Matrix had been there - and that it had reanimated a dead cyborg whale, the Klud. The Klud was the last of its kind, but it had also killed many, many boaters, and there was a reward on its head for its death."
On the one hand, reviving a dead species seems noble, but on the other, the Matrix unleashed a monster back into the oceans, there. An ambivalent message, at best. It's going to get worse.
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Post by Rodimus Prime on Jun 3, 2010 17:20:21 GMT -5
Rodimus frowns as he considers this. He props one of his legs up, bending his knee and putting his foot flat against the berth.
"I..."
"Death is a part of life. It's... necessary. It's... in order to have change, you have to have death, and life without change... it's stagnation, still a death of sorts."
Then he sighs. "But accepting that things die, that some things are better left dead, sometimes... sometimes even whole species, that's the hard part." He pauses. "Part of me rebels against it."
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Post by Emirate Xaaron on Jun 3, 2010 17:50:53 GMT -5
Emirate Xaaron holds up a finger and continues, "Jazz, Grimlock, and Bumblebee chased the Matrix to a research station VsQs, a heavy planet. There, it created a creature with no purpose but to kill."
He looks rather grim.
This is still not the worst part.
"Then, it took Thunderwing as its bearer, though accounts say that Thunderwing was more possessed, a vessel, than a bearer as you are. The Matrix became a weapon." Emirate Xaaron looks down at his feet. "Landmine died from one of its blasts. Thunderwing... the Matrix... whichever said that the Matrix wanted these new sensations. It wanted to feel pain and death, not just goodness and pleasure. It wanted to know evil."
Emirate Xaaron looks up, and he stares straight at Rodimus Prime's optics. "Apparently, one of the Decepticons talked Thunderwing down enough to make him realise that the Matrix was in control of him, not the other way around. But that didn't last long. Nightbeat was able to harpoon Thunderwing and cast him adrift in space, ending the threat... and losing the Matrix once more."
Emirate Xaaron sighs heavily and rubs his face with his hands. "Now do you see? The Matrix did all that by itself, untainted. It was curious. What happened with yours... may not be so much your fault as an inevitability."
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Post by Rodimus Prime on Jun 4, 2010 11:04:18 GMT -5
Rodimus listens closely to Emirate Xaaron, once more turning his head to study Emirate Xaaron, his expressions, his body language, as the other speaks.
When Emirate Xaaron's done, he considers the words for a moment, then answers with a grim smile, "Unless part of the purpose of the Prime was to prevent something like that." Then the smile moves to a smirk, the right corner of his mouth pulling up higher than the left. "Not that I'd mind an excuse to shoulder a little less blame."
Then he lays back down and frowns thoughtfully as he looks up, unfocused. "I... don't know. What you're saying, it seems hard to accept. I mean, the Matrix... it's pretty much a piece of Primus, isn't it? Except... so are we. All of us, Autobot and Decepticon," Rodimus Prime is young enough that, although he knows, technically, that once there were only Autobots, he finds it easy to forget. "And... Primus himself... he's a warrior god. A warrior of life, but still a warrior."
His expression pulls into a puzzled frown. "Except that war... constant combat, constant battles... I... I hate it. I accept it as necessary, but it just... it makes me tired. Makes me feel... well, ancient. And I know Autobots are supposed to hate war, but Hot Rod... saw it as a game, thought it was fun, even." There's a slight hesitancy as Rodimus speaks now, as though he's reluctant to admit this about Hot Rod. "Didn't have my qualms about taking life, either. Those things were part of the changes. They had to have come from the Matrix."
He twists again, once more turning on his side to frown at Emirate Xaaron. "It's hard to wrap my head around the idea that maybe it has an inherent... need? Want? to be... spoiled somehow."
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Post by Emirate Xaaron on Jun 4, 2010 12:05:36 GMT -5
It is a curious question - why does the lifeforce of a god, like the Matrix, need mortal safekeeping? To keep the god safe from Himself, perhaps?
Emirate Xaaron gestures and points out, "Primus made us all to fight Unicron, standing as one. I wonder if perhaps He chose to work through devices," a nod over at Rodimus Prime's chest, "and descendants," a nod to Rodimus Prime himself, "because He had trouble killing, Himself, and felt some abstraction and distillation down the line would help."
"There's a subtle but important difference between a warrior and protector, after all."
"But Primus..." His face tugs and twists, as he thinks such unpleasant thoughts. "According to the old legends, He wasn't even the leader of the Light Gods, just the one chosen to stand alone against both Unicron and his forces of darkness. So Primus alone was the one who had to fall from heaven to trap Unicron. It's a rubbish lot for anyone, let alone a god. I wonder if Primus ever resented His duty or found it a burden."
"If Primus ever thought doing away with His conscience would make His job easier, when a conscience is the only reason to stand against Unicron, anyway."
Hrm. Perhaps the Matrix does need a bearer to save Primus from Himself, after all.
But this is hard on Rodimus Prime, and the poor child is awake from nightmares. Emirate Xaaron shakes his head and apologises, "I'm sorry. This is heavy talk, and I don't know where I'm even going with it. You certainly don't need more to worry you, especially considering the situation."
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Post by Rodimus Prime on Jun 4, 2010 13:42:01 GMT -5
"Naw, that's all right, Xaaron. I don't think it makes it any worse, really, and some of that... I needed to know."
Rodimus falls silent and shifts to stare quietly at the ceiling as he works over what the other has to say. His recounting of the legends seems to match with what Unicron told him about the history of Cybertron and the universe and Primus. Finally, a faint smile pulls up the right corner of his lips.
"An interesting way to put it. I suppose... that does make a sort of sense. It... helps make the rest of it more... comprehensible, I guess? It doesn't make it any easier... well, maybe it does. Not much, almost too little to notice, but the idea that he... might have struggled with the same things? Been prone to the same mistakes? Makes it all seem at least a little less... callous." He snorts. "Of course, they're all just guesses. It's not like he's prone to direct answers or anything. But it... it sounds like it could be it."
His optics dim a little and the Chosen One yawns. Sooner or later, he's going to have to finish sorting those pointers.
There's still a faint glow in those optics as he adds, "I don't... don't think I could blame him for resenting it. I would." He pauses. "I do."
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Post by Emirate Xaaron on Jun 4, 2010 14:04:50 GMT -5
The motives and meanings of gods are unknowable and inscrutable, and maybe only madness lies down the way of trying to understand them. However, if Emirate Xaaron's going to be asked to put his life on the lines for any plan, he at least wants to understand what's going on, and inscrutability can go hang.
He does worry about what being able to understand any of this would mean for him, though. To create one's children for the sole purpose of fighting one's enemy... did Primus forget that His children deserve to live, too, like all the other life He was sent to protect, even if they are His children? ...oh, but Emirate Xaaron's been there. So... "I don't blame you. I just wish there was something I..."
Emirate Xaaron stiffens a bit, and he adds, feeling very, very old, "We did see what happens when Primus answers." A beat. "I die."
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Post by Rodimus Prime on Jun 4, 2010 14:19:14 GMT -5
Rodimus's optics brighten.
Ah, but how could he have forgotten about that? Not when the body still sits in the 'spare parts room.'
The young Prime turns his head towards Xaaron again, even as his optics dim, and he gives a grim smile. "And... I'm betting he didn't explain himself, not even then. Not... not these questions."
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Post by Emirate Xaaron on Jun 5, 2010 7:53:11 GMT -5
Emirate Xaaron lays himself back down on his berth. Rodimus Prime is definitely nodding back off, anyway.
He agrees, almost lightly, "Probably not, but I'm dying to find out."
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Post by Rodimus Prime on Jun 5, 2010 17:27:27 GMT -5
Rodimus snorts at the pun. "Ha-ha," he mumbles, barely coherent, before his optics go out completely, and the protective covers move over the lenses.
Rodimus Prime is asleep again. His sleep is never restful, but...
... for some reason, it's as close to it as it ever gets for the rest of this night.
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