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Post by Drift on May 8, 2011 12:17:57 GMT -5
"If you tell them who I am," Drift says, "Chances are they'd either run like hell or stick around to try to get a shot at me."
Half the Decepticons wanted to kill him even back when he was one of them, for frag's sake.
He frowns at Perceptor's ebullient praise of Mirage (and really should stop that word-a-day calendar subscription, huh?) Yeah, yeah, nerd. Got the point. Fine, Mirage is just soooooooooooo perfect. Fine. You know, of course with his aristocratic upbringing and fancy manners and special modifications. Sure, compared to that, who would choose Drift? Ill-mannered, worse-tempered, and...with archaic weapons with no range?
He tries to tug his hand out from under Perceptor's, feeling open, exposed. Wondering what judgments the nerd was making about him now.
"Anyway. The morgue thing. Unfair."
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Post by Perceptor on May 8, 2011 15:58:24 GMT -5
Who said anything about choosing anyone over anyone else? Perceptor frowns faintly as he watches something chase across Drift's features, and feels Drift starting to withdraw again.
"Drift, stop. Please," he asks, his fingers tightening just enough around Drift's to convey that he doesn't want to let go, but not to restrain Drift if the swordsmech really wants free. "You need not face everything alone. Not anymore. Please?" Perhaps friendship isn't enough, but it's all that Perceptor dares to offer right now.
"The m-morgue?" Oh. His punishment. The tentative hope he'd been trying to show Drift... flickers and fades, and Perceptor releases Drift's hand to drop his attention to working out the last bends in that plate he'd removed. "It was simply busy-work," he replies with a careless shrug. Busy-work and all those empty, staring optics.
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Post by Drift on May 8, 2011 16:27:12 GMT -5
Drift lets Perceptor stop his hand. He doesn't want to pull away, just...get some distance. He hates that in any side-by-side comparison with Mirage--even his own--he'd come up wanting. No wonder Perceptor would choose the aristocrat over him. Logic and all that other nerd stuff.
And his optics warm under Perceptor's words, and he's about to stammer 'yes'...when Perceptor drops his hand as though it were hot slag and turns stiffly away. Officially? That is the last time Drift even tries to pretend he cares.
And zombies might be immune to bad language, but it's likely that nerds are not. Perceptor might try to channel his mental energies into calculating the mass of the tentacles required, rather than the biological impossibility of so many of them fitting in Optimus Prime's...yeah.
Or that whole, you know, somewhere between blasphemy and insubordination thing. He should probably work on substituting Megatron for Optimus Prime in some of his more colorful oaths.
But that's...way down on his list of character flaws and action items.
"Busy work." His optics narrow, hand snatched back. "Right. I've had my share of busy work, Perceptor. I never looked afraid of it."
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Post by Perceptor on May 8, 2011 17:07:18 GMT -5
Maybe Drift should stop assuming what Perceptor would do and just ask, because they might both be surprised with what the answer would be.
The oath startles Perceptor into glancing back up, and now he cannot help but wonder just what it is that he's done now to inspire it. And... is that even possible? Well, first, finding an endangered Caerlithyan Displacer Beast - that's the only species that Perceptor can think of that even possesses that many tentacles, but maybe a Morphobot would suffice - would be hard enough, but even his own command over subspace and mass shifting would be stretched to even attempt such a--
Oh, wait. Nevermind. Rhetorical commentary. Yes.
Afraid? Had he actually looked... afraid? And now Drift is guarding that hand as if the thought of Perceptor touching him again is so distasteful, that he'd rather go unarmored than face having the scientist come into contact again. Perceptor... finds himself hard pressed to... disagree. He must be terribly weak in Drift's optics. Next to useless.
Afraid. Yes, that would sum it up fairly succinctly, he supposes. Afraid of the dead. Of his own uselessness. "You'll laugh," he finds himself whispering as he stares down at the plate in his hands.
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Post by Drift on May 8, 2011 17:18:31 GMT -5
Perceptor appeared to have survived The Invective with his sanity fairly well intact. Drift is beginning to think he's losing his touch.
"Really. Because I'm just known for my sense of humor, right?" It would be funny...if Drift even knew how to do that.
"Try me." Or be a nerdwuss. "Or you could just prove yourself wrong about that whole 'judging me' thing."
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Post by Perceptor on May 8, 2011 17:36:31 GMT -5
"No. You're known for having no patience for weakness," Perceptor snaps, his head jerking up to fix a stung glare upon Drift's face. His hands tighten around that plate, holding it almost like a talisman as he forces himself to calm down again.
Drift is right; he is being unfair to the swordsmech.
"The morgue..." He hesitates for a moment, his gaze dropping back to his hands, to Drift's hand plate he holds. "I failed them. Not all of them arrived... deactivated." It sounds so stupid, spoken aloud. So hollow and empty and... stupid. He's half waiting for Drift to tell him to just get over it.
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Post by Drift on May 8, 2011 17:53:14 GMT -5
"Glad that word got out, then." And the bit that he's not a woman. Glad that's been cleared up, too. But. Oh, no, Nerd. We are not going to shift gears to discuss Drift's Many And Varied Personality Flaws. This is all you.
Compassion: Drift style!
"Don't be an idiot. Didn't fail anyone. If anything, the ones who actually survived owe you--probably better than they show you."
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Post by Perceptor on May 8, 2011 18:18:07 GMT -5
Perceptor doesn't want to discuss Drift's flaws. For one thing, that just starts another argument, and Drift is much better company when they aren't snarking at one another. For another thing... Perceptor doesn't really see... flaws. Everyone has foibles and personality traits that don't necessarily mesh well with someone else's. Ask anyone, and they would probably mention Perceptor's own verbosity, and Perceptor really doesn't see language precision as being a flaw.
Mostly, though, he just doesn't want Drift to storm off and leave.
He doesn't get either the laugh, or the order to just get over it that he had really been expecting. One might argue that Drift's response is essentially an admonition to "get over it", but it really isn't to Perceptor. He doesn't totally agree that he hadn't failed anyone, but... he's never really thought about the ones he's saved much.
He's always mostly assumed that he would save them. Save them, make what they need, solve the puzzle, whatever it is that whoever it is brings to him. He's always assumed that he would... well... succeed.
He's been very, very still, as he's been considering this, and finally squirms a little, darting an unsure glance up at Drift. "They do not... owe... me..." he murmurs unconvincingly. It makes him uncomfortable, this thought of anyone owing him, even if he, paradoxically, feels like he owes others. Like Drift, for example.
But... once in a while... it would be sort of... nice... to be wanted for more than his skills? "Is that..." He looks back up again, watching Drift's expression, and wondering why he can feel the fluttery little bubble of something very like hope churning in his tanks.
"Is that way you... came to check on me? Because you feel as if you, um.... owe me?"
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Post by Drift on May 8, 2011 20:35:31 GMT -5
Drift shrugs. "Fine. Owe, not owe, whatever. They could be a little more grateful."
"Point is, you beat yourself up over what you didn't do, you're going to grind yourself down. Not be able to do anything." You know, like paralyze oneself with one's past as an evil Decepticon? Maybe?
Okay, maybe not.
Drift's....just going to stare at his hand for a long moment, balling and flattening it, trying not to meet Perceptor's gaze.
"...no. My fault you were sent there." Which is a driftpology.
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Post by Perceptor on May 8, 2011 21:09:41 GMT -5
Perceptor has never really thought of it in just such a manner. The recriminations part, that is. It... makes a frightening amount of sense, put the way Drift explains it, and for the first time in a long while, Perceptor feels... almost light. As if a weight has been lifted from him.
He is smiling faintly as he reaches for that hand Drift is concentrating on, and he understands the apology that Drift is offering. Rather, he understands a little just what effort Drift is attempting to make, and his smile softens as he simply replies, "Okay." Accepting without trying to call too much attention to Drift's admission.
"Thank you for checking on me. That's the third time you have looked after me so far," he observes softly. Usually, Holi is the only one who ever checks up on Perceptor without having some sort of ulterior motive. Even Mirage typically has a request in hand, even if Perceptor enjoys being of assistance to everyone, no matter how small or large the request.
Mirage... With things hopefully mended with Drift, Perceptor finds that he's not even still angry at the spy anymore.
And then he isn't thinking about Mirage any longer, but about that hand still held in his own.
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Post by Drift on May 9, 2011 8:57:24 GMT -5
Everybody stand back now while Drift screws up an apology. This will require space.
"No. Not 'okay'. Didn't want you sent some place bad just...away from me." Really, in a sense, for your own protection. But...it probably didn't come out that way.
"Thought they'd just get me another medic." Yeah and that had worked out just...awesome. "And you could go be with Mr. Perfect Mirage. Or whatever."
Jealous much? DRIFT?!
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Post by Perceptor on May 9, 2011 14:26:31 GMT -5
The first part... stings, and Perceptor is perilously close to releasing Drift's hand. He'd hoped - and it's a bit of a shock to realize that he actually had been hoping - that when Drift had explained that he'd come to check on him, that it had meant... something... But now, it seems that it's just Drift's sense of obligation. Watching out for the nerd, because that's his sense of stability. The last thing he'd been doing back home before finding himself thrust here amidst all the chaos and confusion.
And it surprises Perceptor how much that flash of disappointment... hurts. Drift is... just another new arrival, yes? Just... another body to swell the ranks of the Autobots, and Perceptor has barely met him, so why should it even matter what Drift thinks of him? He's just another mech that wants Perceptor away from him, and that doesn't even make him special, really, because there's plenty enough of the Autobots who would rather see Perceptor's back than his front - leaving rather than arriving. But it does hurt--
Before Perceptor can thank Drift for his assistance and for caring enough to check on him, and then bring that professional distance back up between them, the swordsmech plows on... and that brief moment of hurt is washed away by, first confusion, and then an almost giddy sort of warmth.
Drift really is jealous. Which means that... he isn't here out of obligation. He... he really does care. The smile Perceptor isn't even aware that he's wearing is all at once hopeful and bashful, and just a bit giddy; he probably looks a right fool, but even if he were aware, he wouldn't care.
"Mirage may be my friend, but he is not perfect. I am still quite angry at him for upsetting you. And if he was the one I fancied, I would probably be with him now, instead of here. With you."
Before he loses his nerve, he leans in, hand warm around Drift's, trying to pull the swordsmech in close enough to brush his lips against Drift's. It's probably insane, falling so quickly for someone he's barely met, but... even in that short time, Drift is like a lodestone that keeps drawing him in.
He's just hoping that his daring won't prompt another call to Kup about his conduct.
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Post by Drift on May 9, 2011 15:24:11 GMT -5
Drift has a lot to say about Mirage. Starting with Arrogant and probably all the way down to some word beginning with Z he has yet to make up.
And he would also point out that Perceptor and Drift being in the same location doesn't have a damn bit to do with Perceptor but rather days of careful, if heavy-handed, stalking on Drift's part.
What he does manage to say is actually more of a squeak as the warm metal brushes his mouth. He stiffens, before leaning into it, optics shuttering closed.
It's...probably best that he stay quiet.
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Post by Perceptor on May 9, 2011 16:51:44 GMT -5
Careful, if heavy-handed, stalking? If Perceptor was aware of the effort Drift had put into tracking him down, he would be utterly enchanted. Or rather, more enchanted than he is already. He feels his systems warm from his core out as Drift leans into him, into that first, tentative kiss, and he fumbles just a little to set that plate from Drift's hand down where he won't lose it, so that he can lift that hand to rest against the swordsmech's shoulder.
He isn't interested in a repeat of the last bit of poor timing and idiocy, though, and so releases Drift's hand to grope behind himself until he manages to slap the right sequence of commands on the terminal at this work station. Across the room, the door slides closed and secures to keep out any unexpected visitors. Perceptor doesn't know how far Drift wants to take this, but he'd like to find out, rather than be interrupted. Pressing in close until he can feel Drift flush against him from ankle to chest, Perceptor parts his lips with a soft sigh, inviting, but trying very hard not to demand.
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Post by Drift on May 9, 2011 17:29:45 GMT -5
Drift sags into Perceptor's larger frame, his EM field licking out over the red armor, one hand coming up to hold the head against his, his mouth becoming insistent, demanding.
He growls, his other hand raking down Perceptor's back, wanting more.
But.
No. Autobots didn't work like this. They didn't just take what they wanted. And he feels the familiar violence, intimately entwined with desire, spiralling up through his system.
He gives a whining groan, pushing himself away, optics almost liquid with want. No.
"I...I can't." But...oh he wants to. A bit too much.
_______ (edit because lol I suck at grammar)
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