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Post by Drift on Apr 7, 2011 21:25:27 GMT -5
All right, Professor Sex Ed. Drift is going to do what he does best. Stab something. Poke holes in your theories.
"So." He hesitates. Most of what Perceptor said zoomed by his audio fast enough to Doppler shift. But he was going to solve this once and for all. "It's like faction. So you can change gender?"
The pronoun stuff confuses him. Sure, too many pronouns is crazy, but why not just stick to 'he'? Why complicate things? Perceptor seemed to like things complicated, though, judging by the way his mouth was running and his optics were glowing.
Drift was willing to listen, since it got him answers and Perceptor seemed to enjoy it. PLUS it was stalling--totally--this whole 'poking at Drift with weird looking tools' thing. Strategy? Oh yes.
Until.... Drift's face clouds, mouth thinning to a tight line, as Perceptor explains the common traits of the genders.
"Twin Twist," he said, quietly, "thinks I'm a female." Perceptor better have a REALLY good explanation for this, or someone's going to be stabbed.
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Post by Perceptor on Apr 7, 2011 22:00:25 GMT -5
Drift sure likes the stabby stabby, doesn't he? How... Freudian. Don't think you're getting out of your medical check, though. You're just putting it off, for now. You could have been having this discussion WHILE Perceptor had been checking you out - not like that - and escaping Medical that much sooner. Your loss!
"Ah... well....." Perceptor hesitates for a moment. "In a manner of speaking, yes. However," he adds, holding up a finger to forestall any comments or interruptions for a moment, "it is not as easy a matter as changing one's faction, and somehow I doubt that you will say that changing factions is an easy process or decision to come to."
"I know of at least one biological race which has developed surgical and chemical techniques to alter or reassign gender-based physical sexual attributes for the purpose of becoming that alternate gender. There are also members of that race who choose not to got to the effort of having those surgical procedures done and merely comport themselves in dress, behavior, and identity, as the opposite gender. Or no gender at all. While their physical sexual characteristics may remain the same, the manner in which society views these individuals and interacts with them is, quite often, vastly different than if these individuals were to present themselves as their biological sex."
"As for beings such as ourselves, it could be argued that, especially in some realities, the concept of 'gender' is non-applicable, or arbitrary, anyway. I identify as a male, using masculine pronouns, while Arcee or Elita-1 identify as female, using feminine pronouns. If you are interested in exploring the specific gender differences as a Transformer, I recommend speaking to Override or Arcee. They are both mature enough to hold a relatively instructive discussion upon the topic, I believe."
Further discussion about what makes a transformer male or female, however, go shooting right off the rails, complete with a record scratch noise, as Drift reveals the source of this entire discussion.
Oh, Twin Twist... you poor, misguided, ignorant pincushion.
"Ah, well, you see, Twin Twist, I believe," Perceptor stammers as he holds up both hands in a placating manner, "has about as much familiarity with the concept of sexual gender as you do right now?" He thinks. Even if he's wrong, it sounds good and plausible, right? "And he is probably making an assumption based upon the aesthetics of your rebuild, not upon your fitness in combat!"
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Post by Drift on Apr 7, 2011 22:39:57 GMT -5
Oh no, Perceptor. Drift will find a way to weasel out of this check up yet. Right now he's stalling, and laying odds on the chance that you get too into this new topic and forget all about prying under his plating.
"So it's all...pronouns." Drift growls. "And, of course, that females are 'weak'." Oh, Twin Twist? Part of you might be twitching now, because in his processor, Drift is stabbing you SO HARD. Yes, he is stabbing you so hard in his mind that it is affecting the time-space continuum.
Drift looks wary. "I don't need to talk to any females." They might be mature enough: does Perceptor think Drift is? "Know all I need to know: weak, nurturing, soft, and stupid pronouns. Oh, and don't let them touch you. Already made that mistake."
Yeah, that pretty much covers it.
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Post by Perceptor on Apr 8, 2011 19:12:46 GMT -5
You can think that all you want, Drift. You might even manage to derail Perceptor enough this time to sneak away without the check-up.
But you can't hide from him forever. MUWAHAhahahaha...ha... hrm. Yeah, maybe the mad scientist laugh wouldn't help the credibility after all. Save that for later.
"Only insofar as language is concerned, I suppose so," Perceptor replies with a small shrug. "There is more to 'gender' than mere language, however. And 'not generally as strong as' does not necessarily equate to 'weak'. I would advise you to never refer to Arcee as 'weak'. That could be... ah.... unpleasant."
He does a double-take at that last, though. "Already... Ummm, pardon?"
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Post by Drift on Apr 8, 2011 19:28:40 GMT -5
...well. That's just downright creepy.
Drift will clearly have to plan harder.
Drift puts the pieces together of what Perceptor's saying. Females are weak, but telling one that she's weak even though that's apparently the very definition of female (=weak) will end badly. This means that clearly, these females are entirely irrational and have some hidden weaponry. Possibly tentacles.
"Yes. I know about their freaky weapon-cloning powers." He's a little proud he's discovered this on his own. So there, Perceptor, holding out on Drift won't work.
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Post by Perceptor on Apr 10, 2011 8:21:39 GMT -5
Plan Harder, With A Vengeance? Siskaltron gives it a thumbs down, but Rotten Energon gives it a thumbs up.
"Weapon-cloning... Oh!" Perceptor exclaims after a moment of trying to figure out what Drift is saying. "You've met Elita-1 then."
"Ah... just to be clear," he continues a little hesitantly - drift doesn't seem to be really grasping everything he's actually saying, but Perceptor has kind of gotten used to that, and, really, trying to absorb a concept as big as gender when you're from a genderless reality? Huge. "That is an ability exclusive to Elita-1." And Blackarachnia, but why confuse him more? "It is not something that 'all females' have."
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Post by Drift on Apr 10, 2011 9:52:27 GMT -5
"Yes. I met...Elita." Drift does not sound happy. To see the swords, the abilities he'd put so much time and effort into, just...magicked over onto someone else without the training, and more importantly, without the right spirit for it? He'd compare it to the end of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, where the other Knights of the Round Table take that green sash that's a sign of Gawain's humility and turn it into a fancy joke. IF, of course, Drift had read medieval literature. Which he has not. Which is a good thing, because the only thing scarier than a stabby mech is a stabby mech with a strong well-rounded liberal arts background.
So, instead, he'll just be upset that it wasn't just ANY Great Sword that appeared in the Elita's hands: It had been Wing's. Wing's. The only thing he had left of him. Jealous?
And Perceptor hasn't denied that it's unsafe and unwise to be touched by females in general. . Just that this one has the cloning powers. "So, what are the other secret powers other females have?"
Keep this going, Drift, and maybe the 'cons will attack again, and this whole 'exam' thing will be off the table. Now that he thinks about it...is forgery a big deal among Autobots?
....probably.
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Post by Perceptor on Apr 11, 2011 19:07:41 GMT -5
Forging the exam results wouldn't be that big a deal, really... except that no one on board has a big enough vocabulary to pull it off. Nice try, though.
Perceptor tilts his head as he thinks about that question, and then processes exactly what Drift is actually asking. "It... does not work like that, actually?" he replies as he steps away from the berth he had been leaning against. He isn't quite sure how to explain any more clearly about females, and ponders the quandary as he picks up one of his medical scanners again. Though distracted, the gesture he makes towards Drift is obviously one of request, seeking to access a diagnostics port.
"'Female' is a gender designation, not a weapons designation. It is not that females or males have... have specific weapons or abilities distinct to one gender or the other. Each individual possesses their individual abilities or special talents regardless of gender. Being female would not remove your skill with a blade any more than being male would restrict Override's speed," he explains.
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Post by Drift on Apr 11, 2011 19:38:00 GMT -5
Ah! A hole in your plan, Perceptor. If no one's vocabulary is big enough, then they might not catch any gobbledygooble Drift might just...make up. All he has to do is sound smart.
All he has to do. Frag.
The longer this conversation continues, Drift is either getting more confused, or this female thing is so complicated even Perceptor's a bit...fuzzy.
Or, theory number three: Females have magic secret powers that absolutely defy scientific analysis.
What's not fuzzy is the way Perceptor is looking at him. With some device.
For that you get the Back Off glare. Oh it's a Paradron Standoff here, Perceptor. You and your device and Kup's authority and the weight of bureaucracy, versus Drift and his Personal Space Issues.
He...kind of liked you better with that brig barrier in the way. Just sayin'.
"What's that for?" Oh there's no hostility there. Really. None. And his hand totally isn't hovering over a sword hilt.
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Post by Perceptor on Apr 11, 2011 20:05:12 GMT -5
Perceptor's unique ability is NOT the ability to shoot something smaller than his own hand as it flies into orbit from more than a thousand miles away. It's actually being able to confuse everyone with the longer he talks. Really, the best way to end this war is to pull Perceptor's science string and drop him into the Decepticon Ship and let him talk them all into deactivating themselves.
The glare earns Drift another sigh as Perceptor holds the scanner up. "It is a medical diagnostics scanner. Your exam? I still must perform your medical exam, remember?" he asks politely.
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Post by Drift on Apr 11, 2011 20:16:17 GMT -5
In Drift's timestream, that tactic wouldn't work. Perceptor would be shot to pieces in kliks. In fact...talking's what got him ventilated in the first place.
"Yeah, I remember," he says, frowning. You think he's dumb?
Drift finally realizes he's probably not going to win this. Time to move onto Stage Two: let Perceptor have his way, but make him so miserable doing it that he Regrets It Forever.
He lifts his arm, revealing an access port under his chassis plate. "Telling you, I'm fine." He gives an aggrieved sigh. "Whole thing's a waste of time." There's enemies to kill.
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Post by Perceptor on Apr 11, 2011 20:32:18 GMT -5
Ouch.
"Well, the sooner we initiate, the sooner it can be concluded," Perceptor replies, trying for cheerful. Drift has probably had enough of Perceptor nattering at him for the last two days to last him his whole life.
As for Stage Two? Nice try, but that armor of yours fascinates him. Letting have his way is counterproductive to making him miserable.
"Better safe than regretful," Perceptor replies, leaning in to connect the scanner cable to Drift's access port. As the scanner initializes and begins running through the various diagnostic programs, Perceptor is pulling out a datapad to begin noting things down.
"It may well prove to be a waste of time," Perceptor agrees absently, "however, I would prefer to know if there are any odd quirks to your construction before said quirks prove to be life-threatening during an emergent situation."
He glances up and smiles. "Besides, I still have so many questions to ask you about your rebuild."
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Post by Drift on Apr 11, 2011 20:55:23 GMT -5
As Perceptor leans in, Drift takes the opportunity to map out some likely disabling pressure points. Just in case the larger mech gets...you know...handsy.
Drift does not care for this diagnostic thing. It feels like someone's getting under his armor and finding out more about him than he really wants.
Oh, right. That's because it's exactly what's happening. Drift's Kung Fu Grip on the Obvious strikes again with a meaty karate chop of reality. He can't help but give an uncomfortable squirm.
"Construction's just fine," he mutters. "And if anything glitches in combat, kind of my problem."
He goes suddenly rigid at Perceptor's last comment. Uh, no.
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Post by Perceptor on Apr 11, 2011 21:05:23 GMT -5
"If anything 'glitches in combat', it is everyone's problem," Perceptor replies as he glances down long enough to make a few more random notations - bare basic stats of height and weight and form, if Drift happens to lean over to peek - on his datapad. "You do not believe that you hold the patent on not leaving anyone behind, do you?"
He turns his attention back up to Drift, with a smile that freezes upon his lips as he takes in how still and stiff Drift has gone. "Why does it bother you?" he asks quietly.
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Post by Drift on Apr 11, 2011 21:17:13 GMT -5
"Not your problem," Drift mutters, pulling back enough that the cables go taut. He's not worth saving. He's not worth anyone's risk.
"Doesn't bother me," he bluffs. "Just...irrelevant. Armor." He raps on one forearm. "All that matters."
Doesn't matter? Right. At least don't lie to yourself, Drift. He cycles a vent of air. It's just...armor. Just weaponry.
Weaponry.
Kup's words from the interview come back to him: his sword. Should he mention it?
He takes another step back, one hand floating up toward the hilt, only stopping when his hip scabbards thunk against the berth behind him.
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