In the House of Illusion

[Hellbender]

Month 1, Week 4, Day 2. Semi-Private

The simulation room has many uses. It's a place to train in realistic scenarios, a place to set up assignations, a place to work out frustrations--though a smart Decepticon assumes scenarios are logged and doesn't make his punching bags look too much like his current superiors.

Practicing ambush scenarios against an Optimus Prime target is perfectly respectable. Especially a souped-up G1 Prime with heavy weaponry and rocket launchers. It's always useful to practice against a tougher-than-reality version of one's intended target; makes the actual encounter easier.

Hellbender is mid-way through his 47th iteration of the canyon Convoy ambush when the scenario freezes in response to someone overriding the simulation chamber lock. The big mining worm transforms back into robot mode and steps through the suddenly frozen, transparent and immaterial scenery--an safety override he'd added in case someone else entered the chamber while his sim was running. Getting the back of his head blown out in a scenario just because Dreadwing decided to clean the chamber or Spinster wanted to add some new twist to whatever the slag his sim-programming project was got plumb annoying after the second or third time.

That was also why he'd locked the chamber, but any senior officer could override that. Who had, and why?

[Starscream (Movie)]

Starscream did, because he wants to talk to Hellbender. Interrupting your underlings during their personal time is one of the privileges of rank, right?

He prowls into the chamber, talons clacking over the floor as he takes in the paused simulation. He recognizes the silhouette of Optimus Prime, even without the flames and exposed workings, and scowls at it before turning his attention to the wormformer.

"I've been meaning to speak with you, Hellbender. You've seemed out of sorts recently." That seems like a good, perfectly innocent opening.

[Hellbender]

Hellbender stood with his legs braced slightly apart and regarded Starscream through shadowed red optics. He tilted his black-cowled head slightly. "Well, Ah'm here, sir, and a mite curious as to why the Air Commander concerns himself with a rank-and-file ground soldier."

He shrugs, shifting his shoulders and armor shrouds up a few feet and back down again. "Reckon Ah'm not the only one. We've lost people, an' sudden leadership changes got a lot of bad history where Ah come from."

[Starscream (Movie)]

"Second-in-command," Starscream corrects. "Which makes everyone my concern. "The loss of Shockwave must have been hard on you. I know he rebuilt you, and you were his most loyal servant. I can't imagine what it must be like for you to hear of his disappearance. The closest I can come is to imagine if my Megatron had died before he went mad with power."

[Hellbender]

"The Starscream Ah knew was both, 'cept when he did things like get hopped up on the Underbase and go bonkers. Glad Ah missed that one--he wiped out most of the 'Cons on Earth. Glad you ain't him," Hellbender says noncommittally.

His optics narrow slightly at the mention of Shockwave. "He built me that way. And don't count him out--he's disappeared before, and returned. The boss is hard to keep down. Might be a while gettin' back, though. Last time him and the Dynobots took each other down and didn't surface again for 'bout six million years. When he got back, he took down all the Autobots in one day, the ones Megatron had been futzing about with for years."

A brief smirk. "Ah hear Megatrons have a habit of doing that, sometimes. Turned out the nutty one in our history was an imposter Straxus made, though. Maybe yours got his circuits overwritten somehow, or something, and it wasn't really him?"

"Kinda concerned about Scourge's long-range plans. They strike me as awfully ambitious." There, a bit of bait tossed out to see what Starscream would do with it.

"More concerned in the short term with maintenance. Hook and the Boss developed my internal systems and special transform mechanism; it ain't whatcha call 'standard'. Ain't no bottom-tier repair mech going to be able to read it out of the manual and fix me or keep me in prime shape. We need Hook back," Hellbender says. I need Hook back.

"Also, beggin' your pardon for any discipline problems it may cause, but sooner or later Ah'm gonna clean Slugslinger's clock for him. Ah know his type, and it ain't a good one--needs a good smackin' around now and then," Hellbender adds.

[Starscream (Movie)]

"That's where I differ from your Starscream, and my Megatron. There's no mystic artifact that grants victory in battle, no prize one can win that provides ultimate power. Oh, there are powerful weapons, devices, technologies more advanced than ours that border on the supernatural. But these things are crutches for the weak. An enemy can take them from you. In the end, if you want to wage a war, the only way to do it is to raise a better army than your enemy and have a better strategy," the Air Commander and/or Second-in-Command states.

"I'm not counting Shockwave out. He may well return. I believe it was Blackarachnia who said 'he'll find us before we find him.' She and Scourge make quite the power couple, wouldn't you agree?"

Starscream pauses and gives Hellbender a measuring look when he mentions Scourge's plans. Does he really think that or is he just telling Starscream what he wants to hear? He'll deal straight with the wormformer. It seems the tactic most likely to get the desired results. "Ambition is all well and good, but Scourge is overreaching. Shockwave was grooming him for command, but he's not ready yet. In a few hundred years, once he has a few campaigns under his wings, perhaps he could be an able commander-in-chief. Now, he's too impetuous. He needs supervision."

"We do need Hook back," the jetformer agrees, nodding. "Shockwave is missing, Lugnut is dead. We know where Hook is. Retrieving him should be our top priority. There's no telling what information the Autobots might be able to get out of him. Besides, we don't leave soldiers behind." Starscream ordered Blackout to have Scorponok retrieve a heavily injured Dreadwing. This same Dreadwing later pulled a Starscream on Starscream and betrayed him. Nonetheless, Screamer doesn't believe in throwing away valuable resources, such as Decepticon soldiers.

Starscream's optics narrow and he clenches a fist at the mention of Slugslinger. "By all means. I'm growing tired of his disrespectful attitude."

[Hellbender]

Hellbender chuckles. "My Megatron didn't believe in cosmic magic items, either. He believed in having a solid army and smashing the Autobots with them. Our problem was always fuel. Takes a lot of energon to run an army, and that's what we were fighting on Earth over--not 'magic' trinkets."

"The way Ah hear it, the Underbase was a ancient Cybertronian artifact, some kind of massive library translated to pure energy. Megatron had the sense not to stick his face in itlink directly to it--somethin' about it causing madness and death if he did. Unfortunately, Jack O'Neilour Starscream weren't that smart, or that sane. The way Ah hear it, he opted for madness and death." Hellbender hunches slightly, segmented armor sliding smoothly over itself as he does so. "So you see, Ah'm a little twitchy when what you might call 'grandiose' plans start coming from on high."

Hellbender frowns. "She's young, like he is. Or feels it. Don't think she's seen a serious campaign yet; don't think she's seen the shattered shells piled ten, twenty deep choking the streets yet."

Armor shrouds shift again. "Ain't as old as some, myself, but fought when my Megatron pushed the Autobots off Cybertron. So Ah've seen it."

"No, sir, we do not. 'Specially here; ain't like we can just order another one from the factory. Not that you could back home, either--dumb grunts we could recycle from Empties, but specialists like Hook were.. special." Hellbender shrugs. "Besides, troops are a lot more loyal if they know you value them."

"Yes, sir. Will Ah have some official position at some point? Back home, Ah used to be a squad leader; it makes it easier to wrangle troops if Ah can point to some rank to back it up. Don't have to bend quite as much metal what has to be repaired later, though some people you just have to put the fear of rank into personally, for them to take it serious-like. Y'know, like Ah hear you did with Bonecrusher."

[Starscream (Movie)]

"In my reality, Megatron and Prime made control of the Allspark- the source of energon and Cybertronian life- the focus of the war. When it seemed we were about to capture it, Optimus had it launched into space, and Megatron blasted off to follow it. Prime was willing to doom our species to preserve his ideals. I'm not sure Megatron was interested in actually returning the cube to Cybertron either, given its effects on Earth technology."

"I catch your Stargate references and am well-pleased by them agree, Hellbender." He can't help but lower his voice conspiratorially. "Scourge's megalomania needs to be nipped in the bud for all our sakes, before he goes too far down the path of his 'fathers'." Said megalomania should at least be pruned down to acceptable Decepticon commander levels.

Starscream nearly rolls his eyes when Hellbender comments that the spider is young. Does he have to spell it out? "My point was that Blackarachnia, who currently has her claws sunk into Scourge and stands to gain much if he remains in power, was the one who suggested that looking for Shockwave would be a waste of time."

The jetformer gives the worm an appraising look. Is there some ambition there after all? "You'd make an excellent squad commander, I think. You're loyal, reasonably intelligent, and heavily-armored enough not to go down under the first volley of enemy fire." Nothing worse than having your NCOs get shot out from under you.

"Bonecrusher simply has 'issues', as I'm sure you're aware by now. He needed to reminded of how a chain of command is decided amongst Decepticons, since my frame isn't as bulky as Megatron's to serve as a visual clue for him. He isn't intentionally disrespectful so much as he's enraged at the universe and everyone in it." Respect is kind of a hot button issue for Screamer.

[Hellbender]

Hellbender looked thoughtful. "Yessir. Hope we can convince Scourge to be a bit more realistic without too much fuss, though. Ah've seen Decepticon civil war, and all it does is give the Autobots more chances to regroup and refit."

Yes, Starscream does have to spell it out. Intrigue is not one of Hellbender's talents; wrangling excitable fanatics and busting heads is more along his line. His optics narrow slightly. "Is that so? What is it with multi-legged semi-organic transforms? Tarantulas and Rampage aren't what Ah'd call 'reliable', either. Speaking of which, Ah'll pass on to you the same warning Ah gave Lord Shockwave: that Tarantulas is a troublemaker, same like Slugslinger, only he's sneakier about it. An' there's history between him and Rampage--Ah don't know what it is, but there's going to be trouble because of them sooner or later. Ah'd bet rations on it."

Hellbender bows his head as the joints allow. "Thank you, suh. Ah did hold that position back home now and then, when Ah wasn't sent on solo missions."

"Ah did notice that about Bonecrusher," Hellbender says. "Reminds me a lot of Fangry back home. Or the original Rampage and Tantrum back home, b'longed to the original Predacon team back home. All three of 'em pissed at anything that moved, Con, Bot, turborat, whatever. Razorclaw managed his team of crazies just fine, an' Fangry was an idiot and not nearly as tough as your Bonecrusher, even if he did have a mouth on him--anyone tough and mean enough to lead the Decepticons could intimidate him into attacking the right targets."

"Ah always wondered why the Autobots talked 'bout bein' so much better than us when we 'Cons made useful soldiers out of complete crazies that they wouldn't even try to do anything with." Hellbender shrugs.

[Starscream (Movie)]

"No-one wants an armed conflict here, Hellbender. I was in the middle of terminating the ringleader of such a coup when I 'arrived' here. The Autobots used his foolishness as cover for an attack."

Starscream's facial plates shift slightly, managing to approximate being 'fed up to here' with various things. "Never bet on a sure thing and never trust anyone who doesn't bother to hide their disgusting dietary habits," he says distastefully. "Short of having them constantly surveilled, there's not much we can do about Tarantulas and Rampage until they make a move. Fortunately they're both small enough to crush underfoot if necessary."

"It's easy to act as though you have the moral high ground when you always pick the easy solution to your ethical dilemmas, without considering the long-term consequences. Plus you can point at your opponent and say 'Look at all the crazies on their team, they must be the bad guys!'" he snorts. "Any fool who thinks we're evil has never had to live with us. One day here and an Autobot would realize we're all saints just for not killing each other."

[Hellbender]

"Ain't that the truth!" Hellbender relaxes every so slightly, feeling a bit more comfortable with this Starscream. True, Starscream could be lulling him into relaxing his guard, but Hellbender figures his armor could take a first hit--and anyone fool enough to get into hand-to-hand range with the wormformer would seriously regret it.

"You know a lot more about leading than my Starscream ever dreamed of," Hellbender says. "Ah see you've figured all this out purty well. Reckon you got a plan to calm down our new boss without fightin' and people turnin' traitor and all that messiness." Palm leaf and more bait.

[Starscream (Movie)]

Starscream is trying to get Hellbender to relax his guard, but not the way he's thinking of. He wants to find out how the wormformer really feels about things, not attack him.

"From what I hear, your Starscream never grasped that there was more to command than taking it from whoever has it at the time." He examines his claws briefly before meeting Hellbender's optics. "We're soldiers, Hellbender. Violence is in our nature. I would very much like any . . . change of command that occurs to happen smoothly. I think the best way to ensure that is to make sure I have those who would present the largest obstacles on my side, where they can be the greatest assets. Scourge is canny enough not to engage in a battle he can't win."

[Hellbender]

Hellbender rolls his shoulders, making sure the joints are traversing freely. "Ah like a good scrap myself, but Ah don't like fightin' our own. That's just doin' the enemy's work for him. Yeah, Ah think you got that right about my Starscream. Don't think he ever figured out that a leader has to lead; without that, he's just another loudmouth with a gun."

Optics narrow slightly. "You may be right about Scourge, but be careful--he's got an angry streak. He just controls it a lot better than Bonecrusher. If his rage gets out of control... might not be rational about the odds."

The odd thing is, Hellbender could be just as well talking about himself.

[Starscream (Movie)]

Hellbender could just as well be talking about any of them. It's not only the people from the Marvel universe that can go berzerker. Decepticons in general tend to be prone to fits of rage.

"I hope it doesn't come to that. My plan is to show up at his door with the majority of our troops and inform him that he is being relieved of command. He's too good a soldier to kill, but too ambitious a commander-in-chief to remain in charge until Shockwave's return."

[Hellbender]

Hellbender looks down at his cutting blades; he spends several moments staring at the gears. Finally he looks up and says, "Lord Shockwave appointed Scourge second-in-command. You going to have a good, logical explanation for Lord Shockwave when he comes back as to why you relieved his appointed XO from bein' Acting CO? 'Cause if you don't, you and anyone that joins you is smelted."

He's frowning now, and thoughtful. "Maybe just guide Scourge away from doin' anything crazy instead of outright deposin' him, unless he goes blatantly off the rails? 'Cause second-guessing Lord Shockwave's choice of XO just a few weeks in looks kinda... presumptuous. Like we're thinkin' Shockwave didn't know what he was doing. Can't say Ah'd want to tell him that to his face, and Ah do think he knew what he was doing. Ah reckon he knew what he was doing when he required you and Scourge to work together, too--he knew Scourge is young, and ain't had all that much command experience yet. Probably figured you'd keep him from goin' too far off course."