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Post by Mirage on May 8, 2011 23:47:52 GMT -5
Mirage's optics stay closed through Perceptor's rant. When the scientist finishes, Mirage opens them and turns his head toward Perceptor.
The spy is smiling sadly.
"Having killed doesn't make you a killer. Allowing another to live and kill doesn't either. I was not joking."
"It is something I have had to face recently, you see. I think you may find- if you pursue it- that he has done the same. We are both terribly dangerous individuals, Perceptor; I just have better manners and breeding. Small difference, that."
Mirage reaches over to try and cup Perceptor's cheek, "That you think me deserving enough to get offended over means so much more than you could possibly realize."
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Post by Perceptor on May 9, 2011 14:56:40 GMT -5
"Perhaps not," Perceptor replies, his temper cooling. "But if my friends, my family here, are threatened, I will kill again." It had taken Pz-Zazz and the Decepticon attack for Perceptor to come to that decision, but the truth of it had struck Perceptor hard in recent nights. He'd nearly gotten Sentinel killed during the attack on the Event Horizon because of his unwillingness to buckle down and do what needed to be done. How many countless others had he endangered since arriving here?
No more. There is too much at state to allow himself to continue to be weak.
"And I have pursued it. I know what he is, Mirage, and I cannot seem to find it in me to care. No more than I can seem to find it in me to give Hound's accusation credence. We are still not certain exactly which reality he had been from, nor what events may have led up to his arrival here. I choose to trust in what I have observed for myself, and even if you are an ass sometimes," he says this with a smirk, attempting to tease Mirage out of his melancholy, "you are still my friend. Perhaps I am too trusting. Perhaps I am naive." He smiles and shrugs. "It is my choice to make, and I choose to trust you."
He tilts his head into Mirage's hand for a moment, accepting the gesture, but only a moment, before he reaches up and pulls Mirage's hand away by the wrist, offering the spy an apologetic smile. "For your own safety, I should advise you that I am somewhat, ah... off limits now. But you are deserving, Mirage. That has not changed."
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Post by Mirage on May 9, 2011 23:07:13 GMT -5
Mirage flinches when Perceptor mentions Hound. Though the spy doesn't actually move, the perceptive Perceptor might notice a withdrawing- a withdrawing cut short by the way Perceptor removes Mirage's hand.
Mirage stares at the hand holding his wrist with complete and utter bafflement, brow furrowed and mouth slightly agape. After several seconds, he finally turns his gaze to Perceptor's face, searching....
Finally, the spy pulls his hand away. "I see. I was not making advances upon you, Perceptor. We are friends, and we are familiar, and I was touching you with that same familiarity, just as I do those for whom I care. Certainly I have considered us more... but that matters not now."
"If you feel strongly enough to make such a choice so quickly, then I can do nothing but support it. I would see you happy; Primus knows you deserve it." Mirage's lips quirk in a shadow of his usual smirk, "I'll not pretend to understand how any one mech can feel entitled to the exclusive attention of another; however, I must assume from your words that sharing is not something Drift does well."
"Or perhaps it is a personal problem with me alone. I'll not press the issue." Mirage stands and continues, "But if he cannot handle my treating you as I do any other friend, then perhaps... one of the other engineers needs to be schooled in the intricacies of my upgraded cloaking mechanism. I would not be the cause of strife between you and your new lover if I could help it."
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Post by Perceptor on May 9, 2011 23:22:40 GMT -5
Perceptor heaves a sigh; he's really not very good at any of this, and seems to just be making things worse.
"You've spoken with him," he observes with a faint smile. "Do you think he seems the type to share openly?"
"And it is not so settled as all of that, Mirage," he adds as he rises to face Mirage equally. "But..." He pauses, his gaze dropping to his feet, to one toe plate scuffing lightly over the other, while his hands wring absently together. "I... like him. I am... drawn to him, Mirage, and I know that you were not making an advance upon me, I do. But I do not believe that he is settled enough to be comfortable sharing, and... and I do not wish to lead you on, either."
"I will not, however, ask you to find another engineer. You are my dear friend, Mirage, and that I will not compromise upon. I merely... wish to be forthright with you. You deserve honesty, Mirage. You deserve so much more, but honesty and my friendship is all that is within my power to offer right now."
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Post by Mirage on May 10, 2011 0:26:06 GMT -5
"Frankly, Perceptor, I would not have considered him the type to share anything with anyone but the point of his blade. As I said to him, I think the idea of being an Autobot... is still a bit new to him."
Note that Mirage does not say he thinks Drift used to be a Decepticon. Mirage doesn't know that. He may suspect, but he doesn't know, and he isn't one to indulge in idle speculation.
He sighs. Intellectually, Mirage understands the concepts of monogamy and jealousy. Emotionally, he does not. He simply does not understand how anyone could seek claim on another's life in such a manner, or why someone might voluntarily give up their freedom in such a way.
"Why would you feel that way? If he is your choice, and you wish him to be the only choice, then why would I be upset? If his spark calls to you so, then by all means you should see what may come of it." Mirage reaches up to try and cup Perceptor's cheek again, "I would only be upset if it meant I were denied your friendship and presence, but even then I would endure if it meant your happiness."
He smirks, then says, tone quite serious, "If he breaks your spark, though, I guarantee he won't break another."
Yes, he knows Perceptor doesn't have a spark. But "break your lasercore" goes into a whole 'nother kink.
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Post by Perceptor on May 13, 2011 21:45:37 GMT -5
That first draws a smile from Perceptor, and there may be just a hint of sadness to that smile, but it is mostly... amused. Drift had run, but he'd certainly shared something besides his swordpoint before he had.
"Regardless of what may or may not come of it, I will not allow our friendship to suffer for it," Perceptor assures him as he tilts his cheek into Mirage's hand, lifting his own hand to curl around it. But Perceptor knows enough already to understand that is he wishes anything to come of his pursuit, that friendship is all he will be able to offer Mirage. He hopes that it is enough.
Perceptor sputters for a moment, understanding the sentiment perfectly, and, for once, not even remarking upon the fact that he has no spark. "I'm more worried about breaking his!" he exclaims.
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Post by Mirage on May 13, 2011 22:09:59 GMT -5
It will have to be enough, will it not?
Mirage arches a browridge at Perceptor's exclamation.
"Is our surly new addition really as delicate as all that, for you to fear such? I am surprised."
Up until the last few moments, Mirage has not really been looking at Perceptor closely. Now though... his brow furrows as idly rubs his thumb along Perceptor's jaw.
"Do you want to talk about it love?" he asks softly, obviously concerned.
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Post by Perceptor on May 14, 2011 19:18:02 GMT -5
Perceptor winces faintly to himself as he realizes what he'd just said; he tries to cover that with a snort of derision, but he isn't certain just how successful he is. Mirage is... generally fairly perceptive about him, and has apparently decided to pay closer attention now.
He sighs, curling his fingers to weave them through Mirage's upon his cheek, and then turns to tug the spy back down to sit upon the bench beside him. "Delicate? No, nothing like that. I... am not comfortable discussing overmuch without..." he shrugs, looking a little embarrassed, "without his permission, but suffice it to say that he has confided in me a little. Both before, and since."
"It had not been his intention to have Kup punish me, and we have settled those differences admirably." It's just all the new issues that have cropped up that are now plaguing Perceptor. He is silent for a long moment, staring at Mirage's hand, which he still holds, but his gaze distant, as if it is not the spy's hand he is seeing.
"Compared to so many of us, I really have led quite a sheltered, privileged life, Mirage. But I am more than what I appear to be. I... want a chance to prove that. And, instead, here I am, wondering how crass it would be to ask you, who loves me in your own way, to possibly assist me later in my campaign against the rampart of his ignorant stubbornness."
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Post by Mirage on May 14, 2011 20:35:50 GMT -5
Mirage makes no resistance when Perceptor leads him back to the bench. The spy will in fact curl an arm around Perceptor's shoulder's, attempting as Mirage always does, to comfort through touch.
"I didn't ask for his life story, love," Mirage soothes, "I can guess enough of it to know it is a rough one. I am merely concerned with you and your well being."
He chuckles softly, "I believe I have commented on that innocence of your a few times." Perceptor's request though, garners another raised browridge. "Oh Perceptor...," Mirage sighs and looks across the room for a moment.
"I will not deny that I will miss you, but if this is what you want- what do you need of me?"
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Post by Perceptor on May 14, 2011 20:59:57 GMT -5
Perceptor leans into the arm Mirage has around his shoulders and sighs. What is wrong with him? He has a friend right here who is more than happy to give him the companionship he craves... and yet, it... isn't enough somehow. Not that Mirage isn't enough, but that... Mirage, quite simply, is not Drift.
Why has he become so fixated upon Drift?
"This," he finally replies. "Just this. Understanding." He releases a thin chuckle and adds, "And perhaps some advice, after I fall upon my face a few times on my own."
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Post by Mirage on May 14, 2011 21:22:50 GMT -5
Mirage rubs his cheek on Perceptor's shoulder. Even cuddled as they are, Perceptor is quite a bit taller, after all.
"My door is always open, you know. If you need me."
After a moment, he smirks and says, "Would you be terribly opposed to me speaking to him, if opportunity arose?"
Mirage doesn't know that he is one of the "problems!"
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Post by Perceptor on May 16, 2011 18:52:09 GMT -5
"I appreciate that, Mirage. And I do know," Perceptor replies. He shifts a bit, uncomfortable, and reaches up with his free hand to rub the back of his head. "But, ah, I would... really rather prefer if, um, you did not. Actually. I, ah... think it would bother him a great deal to know that, well... he was under discussion. Much less to be, um... lectured."
"If he comes to you, then," he shrugs, "certainly. But, ah... otherwise?" And Perceptor is fairly certain that he can calculate the odds of the possibility of Drift approaching Mirage to discuss Perceptor at something less than 0%.
"Subject change," he interjects, nudging Mirage's shoulder with his arm. "What happened between you and Ultra Magnus?"
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Post by Mirage on May 16, 2011 20:34:55 GMT -5
"I didn't intend to lecture him," Mirage says, playing at being affronted, "Oh, I'd probably warn him that you're a terribly persistent and stubborn individual, and that I'd hate to have you angry at me." You know, like Perceptor was not that long ago. "But I wouldn't lecture him." The spy winks and tries to chuck Perceptor under the chin. His arm flops back down into his lap and he sighs as Perceptor brings up Ultra Magnus. "I assume you're referring to that incident when we were on Pz-Zazz? Honestly, I don't really know. I went to him for training, and the next thing I knew, I felt verbally attacked. I was... still very on edge, and I responded in kind. I'm not proud of it" Mirage then proceeds to give Perceptor an more in depth summary of the events of On the Edge of a Knife
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Post by Perceptor on May 20, 2011 20:57:15 GMT -5
Perceptor graces Mirage with a wry smile as he accepts the knock to his chin. "I doubt that he would remain for a lecture in any case." Perceptor will leave it at that, and not go into how jealous Drift is of Mirage in the first place.
"He mentioned to me that it seemed as if you were holding him accountable for everything which has occurred between your time and his?"
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Post by Mirage on May 21, 2011 23:15:46 GMT -5
Mirage would be completely baffled at the idea that Drift is jealous of him. Drift seems like a perfectly capable mech, is attractive, and skilled, if lacking in social graces, and doesn't seem to desire higher social status. Why would he be jealous of Mirage?
"I did not say that."
The spy sighs, the clarifies, "It is more complicated than that, I think. It seems that the me of his time actually surrendered to Ultra Magnus for a chance to return to a peaceful Cybertron- except that surrender also resulted in the 'surrender' of other Autobots." Mirage looks off across the room. Well as Perceptor knows him, there isn't a hint at all in the spy's expression as to how Mirage himself actually feels about that accusation.
"It has been discussed between us only once, shortly after his arrival. That meeting... also ended poorly. He struck me, because I was more upset over his claim that I would betray my friends than over Shockwave's trickery. At least, I think that was the problem. The sudden violence from him was surprising."
"He threw that incident at me again, for no reason, when I had not been attacking him, when I was trying to make him understand how much I needed... how much I needed some contact with something, someone from home, my home."
Mirage turns to look at Perceptor for a moment, expression still terribly neutral. "I am so lonely, here, Perceptor."
He turns to looks across the room again, "He did it in front of Xaaron, who doesn't exactly think well of me. Condemning me for something I have not and may never do. So yes, I countered, and I called him out for his obvious self-denigration, his recalcitrance, and yes, his fear. Ultra Magnus has, I think, almost as much bitterness and hate for his brother as he has for Shockwave, but will never allow himself to admit it. Magnus resents that Optimus left him to lead."
"I do not blame him for his choices. I do not blame him for his fear. I truly don't. But I will not be called out in such a manner, for no reason, treated to such a double standard as he put forth during that argument. I am not supposed to consider the things he has done, yet he would judge me, who is vorns upon vorns younger than he, on something I have yet to do."
Mirage sighs again and slumps back, almost seeming to collapse into himself a bit, "I don't understand what happened during that entire exchange. I truly don't. I do know that it has been years since I have wanted to do such violence as I wished to do after that argument. Had Xaaron not been there, I think you would have been scraping bits of me off the training room floor." Mirage gives a shadow of his normal smirk, "And patching quite a few holes in Ultra Magnus's stubborn hide."
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