Optimus Prime
Minor
Caution: Hero makes wide right turns.
Posts: 385
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Post by Optimus Prime on Aug 5, 2011 19:49:54 GMT -5
Month 1, Week 1, Day 1, Event Horizon, Semi-private
Autobots do not sweat or breathe, or Optimus would have just bolted upright in a cold sweat in his berth, breathing heavily. He's been having nightmares every time he defrags ever since . . . ever since it happened.
Sentinel and Elita are running away from him playfully, laughing, motioning for him to keep up. One of them turns towards him and their facial plates are gone, revealing the skull-like mechanisms beneath, and their bodies are grey. Elita-1 becomes Blackarachnia and tortures Sentinel to death. Sentinel becomes a spider and tortures Elita-1. They both turn into Lithones and maul Bumblebee (or is it Spy Shot 6?) while Optimus can only watch helplessly. A parade of Optimii expresses their disappointment in Optimus Prime. "I would have fought their leader to a standstill." "I would have killed them all." "I would never have gotten separated from my team." A thousand and one horrible visions torment him whenever he shutters his optics.
Can't sleep. Monsters will eat him.
He checks his chronometer. It's the middle of the Event Horizon's night cycle. Not many 'bots up and about. Optimus doesn't want to go back to bed, so he rises from the berth and plods down to the mess hall, ordering a cube from the dispenser and plunking down at a table in the middle of the room. The lights seem to hum in the empty room. He never noticed that before.
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Ultra Magnus
Major
Disappointing Fellow Autobots Since the Age of Internment
Posts: 565
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Post by Ultra Magnus on Aug 6, 2011 1:11:00 GMT -5
Watches must still be observed even in the middle of the night, and after a free day spent largely engaged in restful activities like tactical simulations and a game of Full-Stasis followed by his prescribed turn in the sim room, Ultra Magnus has the night shift in the pilot house. He intends nothing more than a quick stop by the mess to grab a small cube of what he has unimaginatively taken to calling the refresher mix that he can gulp down before his shift starts.
He doesn't expect to find Optimus sitting alone in the mess, hunched over a cube of his own. It looks completely untouched. Magnus stops just far enough inside the door that it closes again. He doesn't know what to say; he has mostly avoided the young Prime for selfish reasons, too pained by the similarities and put off by the differences between this Optimus and another.
But those thoughts don't come to mind when he sees Optimus sitting there, small and lonely.
"…You aren't on the overnight rotation," Magnus says rather lamely, at a loss for anything else. He can't say nothing.
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Optimus Prime
Minor
Caution: Hero makes wide right turns.
Posts: 385
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Post by Optimus Prime on Aug 7, 2011 16:11:57 GMT -5
"Ultra Magnus!" Optimus says, bolting upright, causing the energon in his cube to slosh. Ultra Magnus who keeps telling him he's not programmed to be a hero every time he tries to catch five minutes of stasis. He wants to smack the Supreme Commander across the face and- this isn't his Supreme Commander. It's just a regular old City Commander, and here he isn't even that.
The Prime sinks back down into his seat. "Hi. I couldn't sleep," he says. Autobots probably don't get bags under their eyes, but Magnus can likely notice species-appropriate signs of sleep-mode deprivation.
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Ultra Magnus
Major
Disappointing Fellow Autobots Since the Age of Internment
Posts: 565
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Post by Ultra Magnus on Aug 9, 2011 20:39:22 GMT -5
Magnus raises one hand, palm outward, in a calming gesture at that initial outburst. When Optimus slumps and explains, Magnus frowns – privately – in confusion. He can't think of anything that should disturb the smaller Autobot's rest.
Unless….
"…Ah," he murmurs, suddenly feeling very heavy. He lowers himself to the bench beside Optimus, his back to the table, and sits uneasily. He doesn't exactly want to ask; he knows how much it stings to have fresh wounds prodded. But he also knows, perhaps too well, that more often than not, talking helps. "What's keeping you up?"
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Optimus Prime
Minor
Caution: Hero makes wide right turns.
Posts: 385
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Post by Optimus Prime on Aug 10, 2011 19:04:32 GMT -5
Optimus looks at Magnus as the other sits down beside him. "Sorry, I heard your voice and for a moment there I thought I was back home," the Prime explains, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.
"I just . . . I can't stop thinking about Sentinel and Elita. That there was something I could have done," he says, prodding his energon cube with a finger.
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Ultra Magnus
Major
Disappointing Fellow Autobots Since the Age of Internment
Posts: 565
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Post by Ultra Magnus on Aug 12, 2011 20:01:54 GMT -5
And there it is. Magnus, master of beating himself relentlessly over his own mistakes and failures, understands only too well what Optimus means; he wishes he knew better how to ease the pain. But he doesn't, so he does what he knows.
"Like what, exactly?" he asks in a low voice, neither harsh nor gentle, as he turns just enough to face Optimus and leans his weight on the tabletop with one elbow. "What could you have done instead of what you did?" Something heroic? Something suicidal? Something that would have ended with the loss of all three? It's bad enough that two young Autobots are dead.
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Optimus Prime
Minor
Caution: Hero makes wide right turns.
Posts: 385
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Post by Optimus Prime on Aug 13, 2011 16:16:02 GMT -5
"I don't know. Maybe if I'd spent more time training like Sentinel was always doing we wouldn't have gotten separated. Maybe if I'd been in charge I would have given better orders. Maybe . . . I don't know," Optimus admits, downing the remainder of his energon cube in one gulp. Technically he just drank his rations for tomorrow. He's hoping if he gets smashed enough he'll be able to defrag.
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Ultra Magnus
Major
Disappointing Fellow Autobots Since the Age of Internment
Posts: 565
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Post by Ultra Magnus on Aug 17, 2011 20:02:07 GMT -5
Those are all maybes, Magnus wants to point out. Maybes, not plans of action. He wants to make Optimus see how futile it is to beat himself up over what happened no matter how much it hurts the small Prime. He wants to see that Optimus understands; he wants to make Optimus understand.
But that impulse wars with another, one closer to his core. One that makes him ache all the way down to his spark.
"Optimus," he murmurs, daring the name, "'maybe' isn't something you can do differently. I know." Awkwardly, uneasy with the contact at the same time he thinks it might help, he reaches over to grasp Optimus's shoulder and try turning him so he'll look at Magnus.
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Optimus Prime
Minor
Caution: Hero makes wide right turns.
Posts: 385
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Post by Optimus Prime on Aug 18, 2011 20:45:51 GMT -5
Optimus Prime turns to look at Ultra Magnus, allowing the large Autobot to move him. He sighs, shoulders sagging. "I guess so. I just can't stop wondering. I mean, we're in this place, this weird alternate reality. Elita-1 was here, her old self! Right alongside Blackarachnia who had met me before but I'd never met. I can't help wondering about how things could have gone differently when this universe seems to be so full of second chances. Or . . . something like that. I don't know. I'm tired," he says, sighing.
"You know?"
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Ultra Magnus
Major
Disappointing Fellow Autobots Since the Age of Internment
Posts: 565
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Post by Ultra Magnus on Aug 23, 2011 20:36:55 GMT -5
"…I know," Magnus replies sadly. He remembers Sentinel walking in with Crunch in his arms; he remembers wondering for days afterwards if things would have been different had Crunch arrived and lived. Could he have made it up to the little soldier?
Probably not, he thinks. He's still trying to get by with Holi and Clipper. Here sits a chance to make amends with another part of his past, but can he do that? He sighs softly and frowns. This isn't his Optimus; this isn't Optronix. He can't be that unfair to this Optimus.
He can still try to do right by him.
"I can't say," he goes on, voice low and gravelly, tone gentle – that of a brother, "it will stop hurting. But, with time… with time, it will hurt less."
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Optimus Prime
Minor
Caution: Hero makes wide right turns.
Posts: 385
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Post by Optimus Prime on Aug 24, 2011 22:06:07 GMT -5
Optimus nods sadly. "I don't think I'd want it to stop hurting entirely. It'd feel like a betrayal. Hurting less would be nice. I've never lost anyone like this before. Well, not really. I thought Elita-1 had died, but . . ." But that is a whole other messed-up kettle of techno-organic fish.
"What . . . who did you lose? You don't have to tell me if you don't want," he says softly.
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Ultra Magnus
Major
Disappointing Fellow Autobots Since the Age of Internment
Posts: 565
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Post by Ultra Magnus on Aug 28, 2011 9:34:26 GMT -5
Magnus closes his optics in a small, pensive wince at that question, and Optimus may feel his grip tighten just a fraction. The list is long; some names and faces hurt Ultra Magnus more than others. Where to even begin? Sentinel Prime and he were never very close, but the old Prime's death had still wounded him deeply. He had been something more like friends with Grimlock once, and when the big tank took a killing blow meant for Magnus, it broke him.
But there is one loss above all others. One that permanently changed him, changed the way he lived and the way he thought. His hand on Optimus's shoulder trembles.
"I… I lost my brother," he murmurs.
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Optimus Prime
Minor
Caution: Hero makes wide right turns.
Posts: 385
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Post by Optimus Prime on Aug 29, 2011 20:37:40 GMT -5
"I'm sorry," Optimus responds. It sounds insufficient, but what more can he say? He privately wonders if what happened to Magnus could possibly be as bad as what happened to him. After all, he lost a friend, then had her come back from the dead, then lost her again, along with another friend. He decides not to get into contest of who has the most tragic backstory, though, because that would be asinine.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he offers.
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Ultra Magnus
Major
Disappointing Fellow Autobots Since the Age of Internment
Posts: 565
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Post by Ultra Magnus on Aug 29, 2011 20:46:22 GMT -5
Does he want to talk about it? wonders Magnus. Can he talk about it with Optimus? He's already had to avoid judging a young Sentinel Prime by the standards of his own former commander. Can he really lay any of this on Optimus's shoulders when they already bear such a heavy load?
"…Do you know who my brother is?" he wonders, turning a wary, sad gaze on the younger Autobot.
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Optimus Prime
Minor
Caution: Hero makes wide right turns.
Posts: 385
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Post by Optimus Prime on Sept 3, 2011 14:14:05 GMT -5
Optimus Prime ponders that question for a moment, seriously considering it. His own Ultra Magnus back home didn't have any relations that Optimus knows of. Of course, given what this Ultra Magnus looks like without his armor on . . .
Realization dawns on Optimus, and his expression droops. "It was a version of me, right?"
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