Get your rocks off

[Zippo]

Apparently Wheelie thinks nekid female Humans are hot. Zippo decides not to dwell on this potential xenophilia.

//Umm well, the re-programming bit…it’s never been fixed, it’s still with me. As to what I did when I was a Pred?// Zippo took a moment to consider the answer, eventually he decided to be honest and keep their trust as opposed to making himself appear better than he really was.

//Mostly I just strafed the Maximals from a safe height. I can’t say I enjoyed it and I don’t think I scored any real damage on any of then during our sorties. On the flip side, it did feel good to command the skies. If I didn’t fight, the other Preds would have torn me to scrap// there was some embarrassment and unease in Zippo’s voice, he had decided not to hide it. Even now, he still just looked after number one, but part of him knew that wasn’t how societies grew or peace was held. Was it normal to feel guilty about lacking empathy?

//I have to admit, the Cons we have here scare the leg plating off me// Zippo shivered both from the thought and the cold.

//Some interesting outcroppings just ahead, take a look and grab what we can?//

[Bluestreak]

// You're still a Predacon? But you chose to join the Maximals, right? // Bluestreak isn't so chatty anymore. He sounds a bit disturbed, maybe worried.

// Yes, we'll stop there. That should be enough for our sampling mission. // Still not chatty.

[Zippo]

Skipping Wheelie due to timeout

Zippo has upset Bluestreak, this is unacceptable…because Bluestreak is a hellova lot bigger than the Maximal. Who needs empathy when practicality will do?

// Aww don’t get so blue Bluestreak, I’m one of the good guys by free choice, just like Dinobot and Jetfire and even Wheelie. I’m a lot less aggressive than plenty of Bots I’ve already met // This is true, one of Zippo’s roomies is Grimlock.

// I tell you what, when we get back to the Event Horizon, I’ll shout you a drink and we can just hang, you too Wheelie, sound cool? // Zippo tries to sound friendly, he barely even stutters.

It will have to be a small drink however.

[Wheelie (ROTF)]

//Heh, yanno, there really is a lotta us switchers. Maybe we could start a club or somethin', the Bleedin' Hearts! Bad Guys turned Good could work too, but eh, that's a whole lot longer.// He'll actually have to think about this. Maybe even find a way to make a buck off of it!

//Oh sure Zippo, gettin' tanked always sounds like fun! Not as fun as this mission, though. I like it when it's all just smooth sailin', not a care in the world, yanno? Hell, there ain't even a stinkin' Con around for miles!//

[Bluestreak]

Bluestreak finally speaks up as they close on that interesting outcropping. // I guess if you choose to join the Autobots you're okay. If you liked being a Decepticon, you would have stayed a Decepticon. I'm glad you didn't like being Decepticons, because I really don't like 'Cons. //

He pulled to a stop just below the outcropping and opened his door for Wheelie. // Be careful what you say, Wheelie! That's just inviting a horde of Decepticons to show up! Let's get this done, I have a bad feeling that we've been out here too long. Also, I think my joints may freeze up if I'm out here much longer, and we still have to drive all the way back to the shuttle. At least Zippo can fly there. //

[Zippo]

// Yeah I do know Wheelie, but like Bluestreak said, don’t jinx it //

// I think my wing servos are ready for cryogenic suspension actually, the shuttle sounds better every nano //

“Zippo Maximise!” the little maximal transformed into robot mode and landed on the outcropping himself to take a better look for good samples to take to the wonderful people of Earth as proof of their extraterestial origins (which isn’t technically true for all), and maybe subspace a chunk or three for later. He picked up a random rock, almost half the size of his head and breathed a small jet of fire at it just to see what would happen.

[Starscream (Movie)]

Wheelie is correct. There are indeed no stinking 'Cons around for miles. Bluestreak is also correct, because miles are insignificant when the sound barrier is towards the lower end of your speedometer.

Starscream appointed himself to scout Mars, just in case there's something there. (You never know.) Mostly he was glad of an excuse to get away from the troops and stretch his wings without worrying about who's watching. It's quite relaxing, flying through the canali and racing dust storms over the Martian surface. It almost makes him forget about his humiliating defeat at Gigatron's hands.

He's not expecting to run into any opposition on the barren planet, which is why he switched out his usual load of missiles for a pair of drop tanks. (Said tanks are currently resting in a pair of impact craters on the other side of the planet.) He didn't want to be starving when he got here. He's still going to be starving when he gets back to Ship, though.

For the moment, his internal tanks are full, and he's busy doing lazy loop-de-loops at dangerously low altitudes, raising plumes of red dust at the bottom of each loop. But . . . is that movement on the horizon? It doesn't look like weather. Starscream straightens out, and accelerates toward the dots on the ground.

[Wheelie (ROTF)]

//Oh, come on, what's the worst that can happen?// Wheelie rolls his optics before he jumps out, stretching his pistons before whirring along. He looks up at Zippo as he flies around and comes down for a landing, but that is when he notices a silver glint on the horizon. Huh, that's odd. //Huh, that's weird. One o'the jets is comin' fer us. Maybe the ship's communications are bein' all screwy or somethin'.//

[Bluestreak]

Bluestreak says, "Jet? What jet?", then transforms without warning. His ionic rifle appears in his hands from nowhere as he hunkers down behind a rock at the foot of the outcropping, studying the distant silver gleam and the plumes of dust hovering in its wake.

// Zippo, be careful, stay out of sight, I can't see who that is, but it's seems big for Skyblast. I could be wrong, the distance is tricky out here. It might be Slingshot, but I think they would have told us if Slingshot was coming along to guard us. It could be a Decepticon, there's a lot of Decepticon jets, and we've got to keep him from going after the shuttle if he is. // Bluestreak's shoulder launchers shift position slightly, tracking the newcomer.

[Zippo]

Zippo is making much haste in the hiding department, specifically hiding behind his new best friend with the shoulder launchers.

// If this turns bad, can we call in for a space bridge? // Any pretence Zippo might have entertained about leading this little expedition has also flown out the window along with Zippo’s yellow* backstrut.

*Zippo would later claim his backstrut was yellow gold in colour.

[Starscream (Movie)]

The dots resolve themselves into Transformers. Or, at any rate, a large bipedal figure and two dots. They could be aliens of some kind. They could also be Decepticons, which means someone is spying on Starscream, and more importantly, someone may have seen him in his unguarded relaxed moments. They're probably Autobots though. Screamer is perfectly happy killing any of the above. Now he regrets leaving his missiles behind.

He kicks in his afterburner, putting on a burst of speed and opening up with his machine gun as he makes a pass at the juicy little targets.

[Wheelie (ROTF)]

Wheelie squints his optics together, trying to zoom in on the closing in gleam.

And then he recognizes it.

One optic twitches before he screeches, throwing his hands up and running for his life to a nearby formation of rocks, far away from the big silver target, barely avoiding a stream of bullets. //IT'S STARSCREAM!//

[Bluestreak]

"Starscream." Bluestreak's voice turns cold, as the Decepticon's machinegun fire spatters the rocks around him, zinging past and ricocheting in terrifying ways. Without a pause he fires one of his shoulder-launched missiles--it streaks into the air towards Starscream--then splits into four pieces! Four separate warheads dart towards the Decepticon jet on spiraling paths; any that hit, will hit with the force of 150lbs of TNT.

// Is everyone okay? Keep your heads down, he's a nasty one! // As he spoke, as the missile warheads zoomed toward Starscream, Bluestreak sighted down his ionic rifle at Starscream, taking the time to get a good sight picture.

[Zippo]

Oh, so that’s a Starscream, nice alt mode, Zippo is definitely jealous.

And then the 20mm Vulcan cannon ventilates the Martian landscape with high speed metal. Zippo is still jealous but also freaking scared. There was no way he could gain aerial superiority against this opponent so he did the only thing practical he could, stay behind the big silver shield.

Zippo moves with Bluestreak, keeping the car between him and the jet, his rocket splits in two and mounts to his arms, ready to return fire with explosive tracer rounds if a safe opportunity presents itself.

[Starscream (Movie)]

The Autobot car has launched a missile at Starscream. That's cute. The missile has split into four parts. That just seems excessive.

The jetformer slows down, rolling into an evasive maneuver. He releases countermeasures, which takes care of one warhead, but three are still incoming. He transforms, flying backward and peppering the incoming projectiles with machine-gun fire. One detonates harmlessly, another gets closer and the blast hits him. The last one clips his shoulder and explodes, spinning him around and causing him to land facedown in the dirt, leaving a long furrow full of metal bits in the red soil.

Starscream is bruised and battered, but still functional. He picks himself up, grumbling and spitting "Stupid, overarmed, square-limbed . . ."