Rodimus Pepsi Convoy Commercial

[Rodimus Prime]

Over on the Transformers MUSH I play on, Transformers: 2005, there is a rather silly plot going on that involves the Autobots shilling Pepsi products for various reasons. Earlier in chat I got help from several of you in creating a Pepsi commercial for Rodimus Prime (who, in the course of the plot, will get an alternate trailer to become PEPSI CONVOY). Someone expressed interested in seeing the final commercial, so here it is:

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Message: 9/67 Posted Author
Pepsi Convoy, MAXED Sun Jul 19 Rodimus Prime
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A large party of well-done CGI Decepticons stand victorious in front of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. The whole area looks like it's seen battle, and Lincoln's been removed to allow CGI Galvatron to sit there. At the moment, however, a Galvatron is standing in front of the throne.

"At last, Decepticons!" he shouts, fist in the air. "Victory is /ours/!"

"Not this time, Galvatron!" comes Rodimus Prime's voice from off camera. The camera angle spins, and Rodimus Prime now defiantly opposes the Decepticons.

The camera angle then pulls back, showing Rodimus Prime charging forward, blasting Decepticons from the sky, slamming Seekers out of his way, and buzz-sawing his way through Sweeps as though they were paper. He charges directly towards Galvatron, saying, "And /now/ that your flunkies are out of the way, I'm taking you down!"

"Never, Prime!" taunts Galvatron. "For you have yet to face my ULTIMATE WEAPON!" And now Galvatron attaches a hose to the back end of his cannon and points the other end at Rodimus Prime. "DIE!!!" he shouts, and begins firing - but instead of energy, a dark liquid gushes forth. A switch in angle shows that Galvatron's cannon is now being powered by Diet Coke!

"No!!" yells Rodimus as his feet are knocked out from under him. He crawls forward, but is now obviously losing this battle. "Can't... take... watered down... taste!"

Then, from nowhere, a robotic Pepsi machine skateboards into the scene. It pulls to a stop near Rodimus Prime, gives a thumbs-up to the camera, and ejects a can of Pepsi Max, which it then tosses to the Chosen One. The Autobot leader catches the can, which, for some reason, is now Transformer-scaled, pops it open with his thumb, and downs the whole thing at once. A metal-style guitar riff begins playing as his paint job darkens. His predominate color goes from red to black, the flame pattern on his chest becomes dark blue, and his Autobot symbol spins into the Pepsi Max variant of the Pepsi Yin-Yang ( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Pepsi_Max_logo_2008.svg ).

"And now, Galvatron, face the power - and the great taste! - of Pepsi Convoy, Maxed!" proclaims Rodim- erm, Pepsi Convoy, Maxed, exclaims as he transforms. While his front end remains the same (save for the color differences), most of the trailer (except for a portion used to cover his robot mode legs) is now open air, to display a giant Pepsi Max bottle whose opening peeks over his cab-front, resting on his 'spoilers'. The bottle lid flips open (it's apparently not /quite/ like a normal oversized bottle of Pepsi, after all) and fires out wave after wave of Pepsi Max at Galvatron.

"NO!" screams CGI-Galvatron as he's washed away. "My tasteless, watered down diet cola can't stand up to such MAXED OUT flavor!"

Then, humans, Autobots, Junkions, and soda machine-bots all flock the scene from off-camera, cheering, as Pepsi Convoy, MAXED returns to robot mode. "Thank you, PEPSI CONVOY!" shouts one of the humans, and Rod- erm, Pepsi Convoy, MAXED, grins at the camera.

"It was easy with the great taste of Pepsi Max! But even better, right now for every can of Pepsi Maxed purchased, five cents will be donated to Crash n' Burn Reconstruction, a non-profit charitable organization dedicated to rebuilding in the wake of natural disasters and battles with the Decepticons! So show your support for a good cause with the great taste of Pepsi, to the Max!"

The cheering gets wilder and wilder and, as soda machine robots begin passing out great Pepsi products, dancing and general partying begins. Then the screen cuts to a black screen with a can of Pepsi Max on the left side and the Pepsi Max slogan in the center. Rodimus Prime's voice can be heard reading the slogan out loud. "Pepsi Max: Your World Gone Max."
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[Rodimus Prime]

In chat I offered to share the other commercials posted, so here they are.

Generic one that helped kick off the plot:
================================== Reports ===================================
Message: 9/41 Posted Author
Do the Dew Sat Jul 04 Excise
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Your favourite show, Gobots, will be right back after these messages.

A spindly greenish robot with the Mountain Dew logo appears on the screen, skateboarding up a halfpipe. It does a flip, lands it perfectly, and then rushes towards the camera while awesome heavy metal blares. Slamming on the breaks, it dismounts, cracks open a cold can of Mountain Dew and guzzles it, crushing the can to the x-treme. The Mountain Dew robot then chucks the crumpled can off into the distance where it collides with a Decepticon Seeker and causes it to explode.

Mountain Dew: Do The Dew.

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[Rodimus Prime]

Bumblebee:

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Message: 9/49 Posted Author
An Important Message Thu Jul 09 Bumblebee
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..from the TRANSFORMERS.

In the midst of a dreary, rainy day two teen boys wearing backpacks are hanging out by a tree.

"I'm running away from home.. my parents are mean."

"Where will you go?"

I'm not sure, but I'll show 'em.."

Just then, an outdated yellow Volkswagen Bug pulls up to the curb and transforms. "That's right," Bumblebee explains, "You'll show 'em how mean you can be!" The rain begins to subside and the clouds pull away, revealing the glorious sun.

"Bumblebee!" the kids exclaim.

"Isn't it better to solve problems and enjoy the great taste of Pepsi.." Bumblebee turns and looks to the camera, showing an exasperated and pained look. He sighs and looks back, "...instead of runnin' away from 'em?"

"Maybe I could try talkin' to my parents again.. and drinking Pepsi."

"Yeah!" Bumblebee says as he gets back up to his feet. "Tell 'em how you feel! And remember, running away.."

"..leads no where! And now I know!"

Bumblebee smiles as he places his hands atop both of their shoulders and begins escorting them away, "And knowing is one half the battle! The other half is drinking Pepsi!"

As Bumblebee walks off camera, he can be heard groaning, "...This just hurt me in my silicon soul. I blame Rodimus for this."
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[Rodimus Prime]

Kup:

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Message: 9/50 Posted Author
Amp it up pt.1 Thu Jul 09 Kup
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A campfire burns steadily in the midst of a forest, with a small gaggle of human children gathered around it. Sitting on a massive tree stump is none other than the grizzled veteran, Kup.

"Kup, how did you escape from the Tyrant Beast of Trafargos?" one of the children asks.

Kup nods sagely, smiling in a grandfatherly way. "Good question, lad! That monster had me right between its jaws..." The campfire scene fades into a flashback of Kup's battle with the terrible monster, a creature armored like a tank with bony plates, and easily the size of a gestalt. "I was trapped in the Beast's jaws, and it took all of my strength to keep its jaws from slamming shut on me! If they did, I'd be done for." In the flashback, Kup is indeed stuck inside the mouth of the beast, fleet planted on the creature's tongue as he holds up the roof of the monster's mouth with both hands. He shakes and grunts with the effort of holding the jaws open and preventing his own demise. "But I was getting tired," Kup continues. "I couldn't hold off that much strength forever. But I had a secret weapon."

"Secret weapon!?" the kids all inquire excitedly as it snaps back to the campfire scene. "What was the secret weapon? What was the secret weapon!?"

Kup chuckles. "It was my favorite drink!"
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================================== Reports ===================================
Message: 9/51 Posted Author
Amp it up pt.2 Thu Jul 09 Kup
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The scene snaps back to the battle with the Tyrant Beast. Kup seems to be on the ropes, and about to let go, but he frees up one arm to reach inside the compartment in his chest. He pulls out a can of Mountain Dew Amp energy drink once again--the camera zooms in on it while an electric guitar wails in the background. "That's right, it was Mountain Dew Amp energy drink! For those times when you need a little sumthin' extra!" Kup chugs down the drink, and as he guzzles it down, his paint scheme morphs, mirroring the red, white, and green colors on every Mountain Dew can. His optics blaze like twin suns as he lets out a heroic warcry, and with a mighty heave, Kup forces the Tyrant Beast's jaws to open up all the way. He then hops out of its maw, scrambles around to its tail, seizes it, and then spins the beast around and around. Once he's built up enough momentum, Kup releases its tail, and the Beast goes flying off into the horizon, its cry of despair echoing across the countryside.

"That's how I beat him, kids!" Kup says, back at the campfire scene. He cracks open an ice cooler full of Mountain Dew Amp cans. "Now who wants some Mountain Dew Amp?"

"I do I do!" the children cry as they rush the cooler and rummage around in its contents.

Finally, there is a closeup of Kup in Mountain Dew colors, holding up a can of Mountain Dew Amp and grinning widely. "Mountain Dew Amp! When you need that little sumthin' extra, Amp it up!"

THE END


(Later on, some parents would complain about this commercial, claiming that their children are guzzling huge quantities of Mountain Dew Amp, trying to throw their dogs, and becoming hyperexcited and impossible to control in general.)
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[Rodimus Prime]

Wreck-Gar:

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Message: 9/53 Posted Author
Pepsi Commercial Sat Jul 11 Wreck-Gar
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A dark, ominous castle on a hill fills the frame. A flash of lightning does little to illuminate the gloom.

The camera swoops low, brushing over the tops of trees and plunging through fog to reach the great structure. The camera tilts down through a window to spy an ominous collection of junkions in robes of various fit and color (Some of them are tiedyed)

Another thunder crash reveals a Pepsi sticker emblazoned on every robed figure as they huddle around a central table. Someone throws a switch, and the lifeless heap on the table resolves into Wreck-Gar who twitches and flops about the table briefly before going still. Collectively, the junkions look rather put out. Several reach for Pepsi bottles, turning away from the site of their failure. One robed and hooded Junkion looks down at his pepsi bottle, then at Wreck-Gar, then back down at the pepsi bottle.

Things happen quickly now.

Switches are flipped. Buttons are pushed. Pepsi is poured collectively into a large glowing chamber of fluid above the machine.The other robed forms wait in nervous silence as one of them throws the switch. A veritable fireworks bonzanza blooms in the center of the dark, gloomy chamber, blinding everyone.

Bright flashes of blue, white and red fill the small space. Finally.. there is silence.

Total stillness. All eyes locked on Wreck-Gar, whose rusty reds and beiges have been replaced with dull blues, whites and reds.

With the sound of a creaky door, Wreck-Gar slowly and ominously rises from the slab, his dull optics peering at nothing as the others gather around. In a creaky voice, like the voice of doom, or at least the voice of canned audio clips, he pronounces.

"It's Alive."

Quickly the camera pulls backward, all the Junkions thrusting fists up into the black frame holding Pepsi bottles aloft. The voice of an announcer now rolls over the footage of the ensuing party, Wreck-Gar standing in front of the footage.

"Yes Friends, Exhilarating, Invigorating Pepsi. Experience the joy of the next generation with this snazzy cola."

Wreckgar gives a thumbs up, smiling into the camera as the screen behind him of partying junkions goes black.



"Pepsi. It's got your taste for life!"
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[Rodimus Prime]

Faked, CGI Shockwave (posted by Shockwave's player, of course; he just wouldn't ICly do such a commercial):

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Message: 9/61 Posted Author
Decepticon Ultimatum Mon Jul 13 Shockwave
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Your favorite show is takes a quick break. Suddenly there's a brief splash of static, and the screen is filled with the imposing figure of Shockwave. Shrouded in darkness, the Decepticon Military Commander's single optic appears especially bright. Behind him are the usual trappings of a secret Decepticon base.

"People of Earth," Shockwave drones, "Life as you know it on your pitiful planet is now over. As of twenty minutes ago Decepticon forces throughout the globe have taken the capitals of key nations, including Washington DC, Moscow, Tokyo, Beijing, London, and others. Autobot City itself has been disabled. Your culture shall be adapted to serve the Decepticon Empire."

Sharp-eyed viewers will notice a bit of green movement over Shockwave's left shoulder in the background. Shockwave continues speaking about the Decepticon victory and the end of the Cybertronian wars, but the camera focuses in on the movement. The bit of moving machinery is... a Mountain Dew vending machine. With a complicated bit of CGI, the vending machine transforms into a Mountain Dew Robot. With one hand it slides on a pair of sunglasses. With the other it flicks on Blaster as ghetto blaster, broadcasting the sweet sweet tunes of KNUJ.

Shockwave whirls around, startled, "What-?" he starts, but it is too late. The Mountain Dew Robot fires cans of Mountain Dew at Shockwave, and the evil Decepticon explodes in a shower of green carbonated goodness.

There's CGI shots of Autobots and Mountain Dew Robots fighting side by side across the planet, obliterating the Decepticon forces and freeing Earth from a tyranny most foul. The commercial cost 28 million dollars to produce and every bit of it was worth it. The screen cuts back to the original Mountain Dew Robot, who gives a thumbs up at the camera. Freeze frame. Logo. Rock and Roll music courtesy of KNUJ.

Mountain Dew: Obey Your Thirst, not the Decepticons

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[Rodimus Prime]

First Aid:

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Message: 9/63 Posted Author
Educational Message Tue Jul 14 First Aid
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Destributed to classrooms across America. We open to BLADES walking down the streets of Detroit.

BLADES: Nothing beats a stroll in the city. Hi, I'm Blades! You may remember me from such educational films as "Combiners: Where One Plus One Plus One Plus One Plus One Equals One" and "Diplomacy: The Poor Man's War".

GROOVE: Blades?

BLADES: Oh! Hello Streetwise.

GROOVE: 'Groove'. I'm curious as to how Energon Grade Sierra Mist gets from the factory to my fuel tank.

BLADES: Whoa! Slow down there, Groove. You just asked a mouthful. It all starts here, at the PepsiCo Incorporated Bottling & Waste Treatment Plant.

GROOVE: ...

BLADES: Don't let the name throw you, Groove. It's not really a Plant; it's more of a Centre where good wholesome chemicals are combined to create your favourite PepciCo brand drinks.

BLADES and GROOVE walk through the door of the plant. There's toxic bubbling, electrical arcs, and a small explosion sounds heard. they walk back out. Groove looks a little queasy.

BLADES: Gettin' thirsty, Groove?

GROOVE: Uhhh, Blades? I have a... crazy friend who says it's unhealthy for Transformers and humans to recharge on that many chemicals. Is he crazy?

BLADES: No, just ignorant! You see your crazy friend has never heard of how energon is made.

Quick flash to an image of Earth = Giant Energon Cube.

BLADES: Just ask this doctician.

FIRST AID: Uh-

BLADES: -He'll tell you that, in history, Transformers make energon from just about everything.

Quick images of Autobots hooking up energon cube making machines to oil pipelines, electrical plants, and rocks.

GROOVE: Wow, Blades. I was a high octane moron to ever question refueling on PepsiCo brand products.

BLADES: Ha ha, yes you were, Groove. Yes you were.

FIN.

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And that's the last of 'em by characters you'd recognize.

[Rodimus Prime]

Nightbeat:

================================== Reports ===================================
Message: 9/59 Posted Author
Pepsi Commercial Mon Jul 13 Nightbeat
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It's a dark and dreary night in Columbia, and a fine mist of rain hits the streets. The camera pans inside a ratty little apartment, where crouched-down NIGHTBEAT is investigating with an obvious human ROOKIE COP.

The ROOKIE COP complains, "But with no body, we can't press for murder charges. Sure is weird, though, this tub full of Coca-Cola. Makes me thirsty..." He reaches for a glass from one of the cabinets.

NIGHTBEAT snaps his fingers and knocks the glass out of the ROOKIE COP's hand. "Don't touch that! That's it! They dissolved the bones in that tub of Coca-Cola!"

The ROOKIE COP turns an interesting shade of green.

NIGHTBEAT quips, "And here I thought only Nebulans came in green. Here, have a refreshing Pepsi instead. You'll feel better." He pulls out a case of Pepsi and hands it off to the ROOKIE COP.

The ROOKIE Cop looks relieved and salutes his Pepsi. "I do feel better. My hat's off to you, thirst-quencher!"

"And my /head's/ off to you, Pepsi!" NIGHTBEAT pulls off his head, and MUZZLE and the ROOKIE COP chug Pepsis.
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