Pincher to Perceptor

[Raymond Stantz]

Concurrent with It's Just My Human Nature

//Councillor Perceptor? I really do not mean to bother you, I know you have better things to be doing, but uhm... I think the rebels accidentally kidnapped me, and they seem to have a stunted Optimus Prime clone and a teleporter.//

Perceptor probably won't answer, even if the signal gets through. Pincher's just not that important.

[Perceptor]

Just one more drop of the triferric dihydrogen silicate solution and then he can add the concentrated liquid nitrogen and begin the condensation and oxygen induction process. One... more...

GAH!

In Perceptor's lab, there is a soft whumph as the whole concoction erupts into a puff of smoke and a brief column of green flame for a moment, leaving Perceptor's features covered in soot.

Councilor? What the... Do they have another new arrival?

// Ah... Hello? Ah, pray tell, do you happen to find yourself within a strange room upon a platform covered in rock deposits? //

[Raymond Stantz]

Pincher will never, ever forgive himself for interrupting Perceptor's experimentation, if only he knew.

//I suppose the area could be described as such, but on closer examination, I think these may be fragments of a metallic meteorite, as opposed to common rocks, though the call is hardly mine to make.//

[Perceptor]

Yes, a new arrival. And one who speaks his language! Be still his thumping fuel pump!

// Yes, you are correct in regards to their composition. I am afraid that I must ask both for your patience, and your designation; as I am certain that you have ascertained for yourself, you are no longer where you once were. The transportation, however, is much more complex than you realize. //

// Additionally, the individuals who should be attempting to speak with you now are associates of mine. // The signal strength of the transmission is far too strong for this individual to be transmitting from the Decepticon's ship, after all. // I am en route and will be there within a few minutes. //

[Raymond Stantz]

//Oh, Pincher, sir,// Pincher readily supplies. He wouldn't expect Perceptor to actually know his name! Pincher piddles around with insulation-degrading enzymes while Perceptor plumbs the weighty depths of supersymmetric string theory.

//Of course, I realise that the instantaneous conveyance of anything larger than a subatomic particle is going to be...//

//...oh no.//

//Oh no, sir.//

//The rebels subverted you, too?//

[Perceptor]

// Not that manner of complex, Pincher, // Perceptor corrects. // Well, not merely that manner of complexity, that is to say. The actual physics of the transportation is still under study, however, it is actually the circumstances which I was referencing as being more complex. //

Rebels? Perceptor pauses from cleaning off his face and hands long enough to facepalm. It's going to be a very long day, isn't it?

// I will answer your final question with one of my own: are you an Autobot, Pincher? //

[Raymond Stantz]

//N-no, sir,// Pincher says. It's not a stutter or a stammer, more of a clatter, like the distressed clicking of claws. //I'm a good citizen. I like the peace.//

[Perceptor]

There's a beat of silence. One could imagine Perceptor pausing to mutter, "Oh dear," and they would be pretty much spot on.

// I know that the questions that I am asking you, and that I will be asking you, will sound very odd, Pincher, but I ask that you bear with me. It is a scientific inquiry to ascertain certain important factors regarding the situation you now find yourself in. //

// Tell me who is in command, who the rebels are, and what function you perform, if you please? //

[Raymond Stantz]

For all Pincher knows, his loyalty is being tested for some insane reason. (He keeps that calendar of hybrid orbitals for research purposes, he swears. He's not a deviant!)

He replies warily, //Why, sir, the Council and Shockwave are in charge, of course. The rebels are, uhm, Hot Rod and his rabble, Autobot relics clinging onto old hatreds. Sir, Springer is here. I am a chemical engineer, sir, which is why I had your frequency. I apologise for the interruption.//

[Perceptor]

Well. That certainly explains quite a lot. It also explains the faint processor ache that Perceptor can feel coming on. This is definitely going to be a long day.

// Springer, you say? // he replies. // First and foremost, cooperate with him until I arrive. Offer no resistance, and do not attempt to combat him. I do not wish to see you damaged. Understood? //

[Raymond Stantz]

//Springer is dangerous. You cannot risk yourself for me, sir!// Pincher protests. //Your projects are so important, and you have so much work to do!//

How in the world did Pincher mess up so badly that he has a Councillor coming in to bail his metasoma out?

[Perceptor]

// Everyone's projects are important, Pincher, // he corrects gently. // Additionally, I promise you that it will not be as significant a risk as you believe. //

// You have been transported not only spatially, but chronologically, as well. As for your spatial transportation, you are no longer on Cybertron. //

Well, actually he is, in a manner of speaking. Pincher should be, after all, on pieces of a Cybertron.

[Raymond Stantz]

Of course Pincher's projects are important! He would not do them if they were not worth doing, and he does them with the utmost of care. It's Pincher himself who is not important, but that distinction isn't exactly coming across in conversation.

He makes a noise that sounds rather like, //Click-clack?// in surprise before he recovers himself adds more articulately, //That sounds like another spacebridge foul-up. I swear, why does spacebridge research even get funding, when we could be investigating warps, gates, and teleporters instead...//

//...I hope the lab techs check on the freezer. I have some cell cultures in there, and I would hate for the lines to go bad...//

Kidnapped by rebels with a faulty spacebridge, and Pincher's biggest concern are the cell cultures in his freezer. Priorities!