Nightbeat
Minor
Eternal Foe of Kitsch
"Truth is revealed in the smallest detail."
Posts: 453
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Post by Nightbeat on Oct 5, 2011 20:13:13 GMT -5
OOC: Skipping Guzzle due to time-out.
"It was pretty good," Nightbeat allows. "It wasn't as good as Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, though." Who Framed Roger Rabbit? is Nightbeat's all-time favorite detective movie, because he couldn't figure it out before the big reveal.
The detective proceeds to enumerate exactly how he knew the talkative guy was lying, keeping in mind that his player has not seen the movie in question.
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Post by Pee-Dee on Oct 5, 2011 21:20:36 GMT -5
"I've seen as much of the movie as you have, Bluestreak." Pee-Dee grins back over her shoulder at the guys, saw-teeth glinting.
She listens to Nightbeat talk as she idly flips through the Event Horizon's teevee collection, pausing at such things as "Spy Shot Six: Month Eight: Week Two: Electric Boogaloo", "State Games: Megatron vs. Sunstreaker", "Velocitron World Cup 2008", "National Geographic: Nasca Lines: the Buried Secrets", "The Wreckers and the Seraglio of the Iron Sheikh", and "Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark". She flips back to the Wreckers vid, pulls it out.
"What is this?" she asks, waving it in Nightbeat's general direction.
OOC: This is schlocky Autobot propaganda filmed like the Blair Witch Project.
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Post by Bluestreak on Oct 5, 2011 21:54:21 GMT -5
Bluestreak gives Nightbeat a skeptical look. "Are you sure you didn't read the blurb on the box first or something?"
Bluestreak looks curiously at Pee-Dee. "'The Wreckers and the whatchamacallit of the who?' That reminds me of something, but I can't remember what. Hey, I remember 'Indiana Jones'! That was a great movie! We ought to watch that some time. Do we have 'Casablanca'? 'The Usual Suspects' reminded me of that, and I'd like to see it again. Have you seen it, Pee-Dee? I think you'd like it!"
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Post by Gertrude Huldon/Guzzle on Oct 7, 2011 5:10:48 GMT -5
At the mention of Wreckers Guzzle startles awake, grunting and blinking before squinting his optics together to look at the movie. It looks awfully familiar to him. One of Fisitron's works? Or did similar events happen in various realities? "Hrrrn...Who put that in the database?"
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Nightbeat
Minor
Eternal Foe of Kitsch
"Truth is revealed in the smallest detail."
Posts: 453
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Post by Nightbeat on Oct 8, 2011 17:26:49 GMT -5
"Yes, I'm sure I didn't read the blurb on the box!" Nightbeat huffs.
He peers at the disc Pee-Dee's holding, then rolls his optics, despite having them concealed behind a visor. He's just that good. "It's some horrible no-budget wartime propaganda schlock about the Wreckers. I'm pretty sure it was all made up. We didn't have much of a press corps, if I recall correctly."
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Post by Pee-Dee on Oct 8, 2011 18:49:55 GMT -5
Pee-Dee checks the database. "Looks like the hero of the hour is... Twin Twist! Whoever that is."
Did Nightbeat just say this was schlocky, no-budget propaganda about the Wreckers? He did! Everyone can see all of Pee-Dee's various lights - optics, motorcycle lights, charm - brighten with delight. "Robot roll call! Pee-Dee! Guzzle! Nightbeat! Bluestreeeaaaak!"
She pops the disk into the player and flings herself at the couch, winding up at Bluestreak's feet with her wheels practically in his lap. "If you're wondering how we eat and breathe and other science facts, just repeat to yourself: 'it's just a show, I should really just relax.'1"
The opening of the movie is just as low-budget and schlocky as Nightbeat promised.
1. Mystery Science Theater 3000
OOC: Sprawling on Bluestreak with player permission. Feel free to make up stuff for the movie as you see fit, keeping in mind that it is low-budget schlock.
Xaaron's player has suggested it might be about Xaaron getting kidnapped by the titular Iron Sheikh Decepticon, and the Wreckers disguising themselves as harem boys to get him back. If you need any ideas.
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Post by Bluestreak on Oct 8, 2011 20:27:35 GMT -5
Bluestreak looked slightly puzzled. "Don't we have a Twin Twist? I'm sure I saw him just the other day, so why wouldn't you know who he is? He's--"
The movie begins (and Bluestreak shuts up) with a melodramatic voice-over (sounding a lot like Peter Cullen) and word-scroll introducing the time and place: "In the dark days of the reign of third Decepticon Warlord, when the Autobots were at their most desperate, the Decepticon leader Motorhead, called 'The Iron Sheikh', devised a cunning plan to trap and destroy the noble Autobot leader, Emirate Xaaron..."
As the opening scene unfolds, Bluestreak munches a handful of popcorn and frowns at the screen. "What's cunning about sending a fake message to a guy who believes everything he hears? I mean, Optimus Prime would never go meet someone he barely knows by himself in a deserted level on the basis of a radio message! Well, unless the message was from someone he knew really well, like Megatron. I don't think our Emirate Xaaron is that dumb, either, but I don't know him that well yet."
More innocent popcorn is sacrificed to the cause of bad movies. "The bad guy sure likes to talk to himself a lot--Megatron at least talks to his flunkies about his awesome plans, and sometimes tells Optimus Prime, too. Come to think of it, that never really made much sense, because it gave Prime a chance to stop him, but it was pretty convenient for us. What's with all the 'Yes, yessss'?"
---- Note: our villain, the titular 'Iron Sheikh', is voiced by David Kaye doing his BW Megatron voice.
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Post by Gertrude Huldon/Guzzle on Oct 10, 2011 5:04:31 GMT -5
This time, Guzzle pays a bit more attention. He's curious if he's right or not. He leans forward to grasp his cube again before laying back against the couch, making himself comfortable, one optic ridge arched as he watches. And he very much so realizes how crappy the production values are. "Hng. Looks like Fisitron made a movie. Looks like molten slag dripping out from under the production line."
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Nightbeat
Minor
Eternal Foe of Kitsch
"Truth is revealed in the smallest detail."
Posts: 453
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Post by Nightbeat on Oct 12, 2011 12:11:19 GMT -5
Nightbeat leans forward, reaching up to fiddle with his optic visor as though he's adjusting a pair of glasses. "Is the villain supposed to look like Straxus? He looks a little like Straxus if you squint. Motorhead the Iron Sheik, huh? Your Wreckers ever fight a Motorhead, Guzzle?" he asks, turning toward the tankformer.
The detective throws up his arms in disgust when Emirate Xaaron appears on the screen. "I know that guy! I mean, the actor. His name is Spotlight. No idea what he's doing in this picture. He used to make good holos. I guess we all have to do our part for the war effort." His face crinkles in further disgust as Emirate Xaaron begins delivering his lines. "He used to be able to act, too."
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Post by Pee-Dee on Oct 15, 2011 17:05:53 GMT -5
Pee-Dee has spent most of the last few days since she returned skulking about on Earth. New teevee shows do not grow on trees, Bluestreak!
"Maybe he hates the movie," Pee-Dee comments as Spotlight continues to deliver his lines as if he were alternately chewing the scenery and reading from a script with a gun to his head.
She leans forward as the camera jerks over to the Iron Sheikh, muttering under her breath about people who confuse bad lighting with drama. "-he's totally a boat. With treads pinned to his hull."
She reaches up to steal some of Bluestreak's popcorn, and the soundtrack swells when Motorhead captures Emirate Xaaron. "... Someone just got themselves a Moog synthesiser with autotune capability."
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Post by Bluestreak on Oct 15, 2011 18:33:37 GMT -5
Bluestreak tilts his head slightly. "They're either paying Spotlight too much or not enough, I'm not sure which. Obviously he read the script, and knows how bad this movie is. Maybe he's afraid of what it will do to his reputation, and that's why he's so... unenthusiastic." He gropes for some more popcorn and almost grabs one of Pee-Dee's fingers instead.
As the Iron Sheikh starts chewing scenery with gusto and pulling out the large ham, Bluestreak adds, "The guy playing the villain is having fun, though. I don't think he takes his part all that seriously, either."
".... I don't think I've ever seen an explosion do that before!" Bluestreak blinks an explosion with extremely plot-convenient knockback. More energon popcorn down the tubes. "Ooh, Sheikhy is explaining his plot again. He does that even more than Megatron--ouch! Don't want to be one of his underlings."
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Post by Gertrude Huldon/Guzzle on Oct 16, 2011 8:31:27 GMT -5
Sometimes he wish he had actually bothered to download all of Fisitron's data tracks and not just the ones that interested him. Because this is very familiar, it sits at the proverbial tip of his tongue, and it's getting a tad bit frustrating that he can't recall it. It shows in his body language, with the Minibot leaning forward and squinting one of his optics, fingers rubbing against the bottom of his faceplate with a grinding noise, and finally a soft, frustrated growling that's starting to well up. "Hrnnn...I think there was...Don't think he called himself the Iron Sheik though..."
Then, the terrible explosion sets off his little inner Michael Bay. That squinted optic twitches and he jabs a finger in the direction of the screen, his voice considerably louder as he starts to vent. "Like molten slag that's possible! That charge wasn't anywhere near enough to do that! To get that explosion, they would have to use a..." His ranting with technobabble and explosives doesn't last too long, just two more aggravated sentences filled with details. His player, sadly, doesn't know the finer details of making things blow up. But he most definitely says it! By the end of it he leans back and crosses his arms, snorting, and grunts out "Fraggin' amateurs, no sense of authenticity, it's not that hard to get proper explosives..."
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Nightbeat
Minor
Eternal Foe of Kitsch
"Truth is revealed in the smallest detail."
Posts: 453
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Post by Nightbeat on Oct 16, 2011 8:57:38 GMT -5
"Huh, he is a boat. That's a weird vehicle mode to have on Cybertron," Nightbeat comments.
He gives Guzzle a sidelong look when he starts complaining about the explosions. Clearly they need to watch a detective movie directed by Michael Bay so they can bond over their mutual complaining about it.
"There is nothing sadder than Autobots dressed up as Seekers," the detective comments, shaking his head as the Iron Sheik's henchmen enter (stage left) to drag away Emirate Xaaron. "Not that I have a problem with Seekers being Autobots! Oracle is a great lady."
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Post by Pee-Dee on Oct 16, 2011 13:48:07 GMT -5
"I could make a better Seeker costume than that!" Pee-Dee says, sounding affronted. If anybody challenges her on this, they will have to deal with Seeker!Pee-Dee in a few days.
"Did we miss a few lines there?" she asks as Motorhead belts one of his Seekers for no adequately explained reason. The other Seekers hurriedly gather the unconscious Emirate Xaaron up- Spotlight is helping with the whole "being carried" thing- and load him into a... industrial floor-buffer? A slow-moving one, at that. "Put your helmet on! We'll be reaching speeds of three!1"
The movie scene-spinnies to... the Wreckers!
Pee-Dee is underwhelmed.
1. Mystery Science Theater 3000: Space Mutiny[/size]
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Post by Bluestreak on Oct 17, 2011 17:32:29 GMT -5
Bluestreak nods politely at Guzzle's explanation. "I knew something wasn't quite right about how that looked--I've seen plenty of real explosions. You know the guy that made this movie?"
Bluestreak gives Nightbeat a quizzical look. "Wouldn't have been that odd for someone from around the Mithric Sea or the Sea of Rust... didn't one of the cities used to float on a mercury sea, until the sea was drained by the 'Cons so they could conquer the city1? Somebody ought to make a movie about that!"
"How would you do that?" Bluestreak asks Pee-Dee, innocently challenging her because the universe needs a Junkion Seeker. "Can you guys change modes like the guys from Breakaway's universe? Or do you have to like rebuild yourself from the ground up--but could you even fly if you did that? I mean, where would you get the flight programming?"
He peers at the screen while trying to bogart the popcorn bowl. "That green guy is Springer, right?" Bluestreak seems a bit uncertain. "I don't think ours has quite that much ordinance. Or attachment points. And did he really just pull his rotors off to use as swords?"
---
1 I think this is actually misremembered fanfiction history... so true history or misremembered story? Up to y'all.
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