Autobot Least Likely To Get Smoochies

[Screwdriver]

On her turn, Screwdriver does not walk up the steps on the side of the stage.

No, Screwdriver runs headlong towards the stage from the front. As she nears it, she reaches her arms out to grasp the edge. From the edge, she flips herself over, pushing upwards as she is directly upside down so that she can finish the flip and the twist in the air before finally landing on her feet, facing the audiance.

She grins wide, then starts.

"Ladles and jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you and tell you something of which I know nothing about! Some Autobots like company, whiel some are solitary 'Bots, but we're concerned not with likes, but with haves and have nots! Our list is short, it numbers but six, six Autobots with whom no one is likely to mix!

"And now, before anyone confuses the cleverest toymaker and smartest squire with David of the sling, I give their names!"

She points out each name as she calls it out. "Claw Jaw! Makeshift! Nightbeat! Punch! Rattrap! Slag! Haa haa! At least someone thinks that no one loves any of you!"

[Makeshift]

Makeshift has been here the whole time. Really. It's just that compared to three Primes (or two and a half, or however Scourge counts), a single Mini-con off to the side isn't very remarkable. That, and he gets nervous around so many large Decepticons.

Scraps of cloth are draped around his shoulders, tail, and a few other spots. He awoke wearing something, but his attempts to see what it was with his awkward hands turned out....badly.

He blinks at the stage as his name is called. "Wait, what?"

[Claw Jaw]

Claw Jaw is an annoyed squidformer. There's no water nearby. Oh, what he'd give for just a water fountain...

But wait. More important things at hand. The rusty-looking Transformer called his name. "... What? What kind of... Award, is this?" Claw Jaw asks, confused.

[Grimlock]

Grimlock peers from over at the piano. "Why Slag voted to no get smoochies, but not me Grimlock? Me Grimlock no smoocher, me Grimlock KING!"

[Slag]

Slag gets up from his chair and glares at Grimlock. "Because me Slag am more angrier than you Grimlock! So you kisser, while me..."

Slag stops there, and thinks. "... Me Slag!" Confident in his decision of what to say, the dinobot sits back down, a smug look on his face.

[Rattrap]

Rattrap, still ensconced in his seat along the wall and still unhappy, just shrugs to hear his name announced. Like this is a surprise? One of his defining features is that he's a repellent glitch, so if he's nominated? He's doing something right. So he smirks.

"Go me!" he chortles, if unenthusiastically.

[Screwdriver]

Aaaaaaand the Dinobots are argueing over which one of them's more unkissable. Well, at least neither seem insulted by being called unsmoochable!

"The Autobot least likely to get smoochies is Claw Jaw!"

Screwdriver opens her optics wide and covers her mouth as she realizes the name she just called out. She looks around, then generally up, and complains, "No, no! I don't want him up here with me! I've heard about those cartoons!"

[Claw Jaw]

Claw Jaw blinks slowly a few times, letting this madness settle in a bit more. He's in some strange room, with Decepticons, Predacons and the whole bunch, there's not a drop of water in sight, and suddenly he's won an award. About smoochies.

He hopes he can camp it out in some inevitably appearing water fountain for the rest of this tirade and just pretend that none of this ever happened and it was all a bad dream.

"... If you do not want me up there, then... at least explain..." Claw Jaw calmly begins, beginning to take this madness at face value. "What is a... smoochy?"

[Pee-Dee]

"Look, I'll shoot him if a tentacle goes anywhere near you. Pleeeeaaaase just give the award, Screwdriver. It's only right and fair that a clever little princess like yourself give this one."

[Makeshift]

Makeshift blinks again, wondering out loud, "Should I be disappointed? My processor hurts."

[Rattrap]

"Ehh… don't be disappointed, kid," Rattrap calls back to the Mini-Con. "Just sit back and enjoy the show."

[Screwdriver]

"A smoochie is what turns a frog into a prince," Screwdriver explains, "but it doesn't work on squids."

She scrambles to the top of the podium, award in hand. The award resembles a tiny crystaline cactus alone in a barren field. Then, Screwdriver sighs. "Claw Jaw, come on down! You're the next contestant on, 'Ain't No Price High Enough'!"

[Claw Jaw]

Claw Jaw did not vanish for 2 months. Why would you think such a thing?

However, he does get up, simply clambers up the side of the stage and walks over to the podium, before waiting for the trophy, letting his tentacles give in to gravity's force. Floppily.