|
|
Post by Perceptor on Mar 24, 2011 11:53:33 GMT -5
Mayday does not shy away, crying. This is a positive sign, and one that pushes Perceptor into firming that comforting touch, rather than pulling it away. Small steps. He will work with small steps.
"'That time' would have been a shock, I think, to anyone so unprepared, much less one who is sensitive to the infirmities of other," Perceptor soothes gently. Hear that, Mayday? Sensitive. Not broken or damaged or wrong.
"Not everyone is suited to every task, Mayday. That does not make them 'wrong', nor indicate a malfunction on their part," Perceptor refutes.
"Grimlock is not nearly as intelligent as I am, but I am not remotely as brave as he is. Each and every one of us possesses qualities that need improvement, whether we realize such or not. The first step, however, is to understand that simply not being perfect, that having these qualities that we wish to improve, does not mean that we are somehow broken or inadequate or a failure," he explains firmly.
"Look about you, Mayday. This ship is your creation. Despite the fierceness of the battle and the complications presented by Oil Slick, your creation saved our lives, and continues to bear us through the reaches of space. That is something to be proud of. Am I correct?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Mayday/Maddox Wayne on Mar 24, 2011 13:24:50 GMT -5
"Nnh. I feel and think things I know don't make logical sense," For all that he tries to justify them to himself at times. "I panic and make terrible decisions because of it. I can't even do something as simple as walking into a medbay! What isn't wrong about that?"
He let's his arms drop to around his knees as Perceptor mentions the Event Horizon, leaning back slightly until his back touches the wall. "She's a good ship," he admits wistfully. "But I mean... it's not like I built it on my own or anything." He stares at the ceiling, feeling kind of embarrassed by the praise.
The Event Horizon really is a good ship, and in that moment in the battle when he got angry and was willing to try and fight to defend her despite the risk, he realized that she was his ship, and not just some temporary place to live until he got around to building a replacement for the ship he'd left behind went he was brought here. And for a little while he felt like maybe he was actually part of something. That he'd found a home.
Then he went and panicked over Rodimus and messed everything up, and that hurt.
|
|
|
|
Post by Perceptor on Mar 24, 2011 13:40:13 GMT -5
"She is. And no, you did not build her on your own; you accepted assistance to bring your design to life. A lesser mech would have refused that help."
"And I will not insult you by attempting to pretend that certain events did not occur, or that those events were not the best course of action, however... Actions can be wrong, but that does not, in and of itself, mean that the individual performing those actions is wrong," Perceptor corrects gently.
"Mayday, we may, each of us, have a malfunction of one stripe or another, without being a malfunction. Do you see the difference?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Mayday/Maddox Wayne on Mar 24, 2011 13:53:38 GMT -5
"You can't build a ship like this on your own," Mayday muses, with the unfocused voice of someone who could easily break off into a tangent about the ins and outs of ship-building. "You'd be crazy to try."
He sighs and rubs the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess," he says, sounding unsure. He knows there were people back home, and probably here, that think that he is a malfunction. He always told himself they were the ones who were wrong, but at the same time he kind of always felt they were right. His head has always been a bit of muddled battleground between contradictory opinions.
|
|
|
|
Post by Perceptor on Mar 24, 2011 14:10:04 GMT -5
"We all make mistakes," Perceptor offers, giving Mayday's shoulder a squeeze. "Just ask Kup about my altercation with him a few days ago. You are being given new assignments. I spent time in the brig." He can laugh about the whole thing a little now, and if admitting this will help Mayday, even a little, then Perceptor's pride will absorb the hit just fine.
"Not one single one of us is perfect. Not me, not you, not even Kup or Xaaron or Rodimus Prime. We are each given this existence as an opportunity to muddle through, make our mistakes, learn from them, and grow."
Perceptor smiles and withdraws his hand, giving Mayday back his space. "Now, I do not expect you to be a medic. I do not expect you to simply 'get over' your fears in a single day. I do not expect you to march into Medical as if you have not a single care in the world. Not today, not tomorrow, and perhaps, not ever. Nor do I expect you to tend to the wounded or the ill or the damaged, no matter what mechanical and engineering aptitude you have. Furthermore, I will not allow anyone else to pressure you into any of those things."
"I do, however, want you to try to come with me, through the doorway, into Medical. Spy Shot and Skyfire are within. Spy Shot has most of his damage concealed, at least from a cosmetic stance, right now, and Skyfire sports but a few punctures which are clean and dry. I do not intend for you to work upon either of them. You do not even have to speak to or even look at either of them today, if you are not able. That is all right. But you must come through the doorway with me. Agreed?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Mayday/Maddox Wayne on Mar 24, 2011 19:53:34 GMT -5
"The brig?" Mayday looks over at Perceptor, startled. What did he do, assault an officer or something? Nah, couldn't be.
He listens to Perceptor's proposal carefully then cycles air heavily through his cooling systems to steady himself. Finally he nods and pushes himself to slightly shaky legs. "Okay. Let's... let's do this."
Be brave! Face your fears! Trying not to make too embarrassing of a spectacle out of yourself in the process!
...Let Perceptor lead the way!
|
|
|
|
Post by Perceptor on Mar 24, 2011 20:12:29 GMT -5
"Yes," Perceptor nods with a small smile. "The brig." And no, he didn't assault an officer, just threatened to. Close enough.
"Very good." His smile widens, an edge of pride within it as he pushes himself up to his feet as well. "Fix your optics upon your feet. Watch each step; I will lead you."
He rests just his fingertips upon Mayday's shoulder and takes a slow step forward, urging Mayday to shadow him.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mayday/Maddox Wayne on Mar 24, 2011 20:30:54 GMT -5
"Right, look at my feet. That makes sense." His voice is a little on the high-pitched side, but he hasn't reached 'shrill' yet. That's a good sign.
Okay, step forward, don't look at the door. Take another step forward, still don't look at the door. Alright, he's doing this, he's doing this... Oh sweet Allspark, he must be close to the door now. He freezes. No, no, don't look, don't look. Just take another step forward.
Slowly, slowly, he makes his way into the medbay. Perceptor can probably feel him trembling through his fingertips.
|
|
|
|
Post by Perceptor on Mar 24, 2011 20:45:20 GMT -5
One slow, trembling step at a time, Perceptor with him for every one. He doesn't speak, though, trying not to interrupt whatever Mayday may be thinking to himself to make himself move forward. Mayday will see, though, the track in the floor where the door slides. The threshold.
Perceptor pauses once they have both fully entered Medical, but he overrides the door to keep it open, not wanting to derail this progress by making Mayday feel as if he is trapped here.
"Very good, Mayday. You've done it," he murmurs softly. "You are inside the medical bay. You did it. How do you feel?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Mayday/Maddox Wayne on Mar 24, 2011 20:59:11 GMT -5
Mayday almost stops at the threshold. Almost. But he's got a sort of momentum going here, at least mentally if not physically. And then he's there. In the medbay. Staring at the medbay floor. Stopping short, he tenses up and whines, squeezing his optics shut.
He's not sure what he expects to happen. That he'll just spontaneously drop dead for no apparent reason? That lightning will strike him from above? That's not how it works. He's just afraid of seeing sick and injured people!
Okay. He lets his shoulders relax and slowly lifts his head. Still not looking, though.
"I feel... I feel... not horrible."
|
|
|
|
Post by Perceptor on Mar 25, 2011 1:10:35 GMT -5
Perceptor smiles, and firms his grip upon Mayday's shoulder just enough to give him a comforting squeeze. "That is an excellent start, Mayday. A very excellent start."
"Now, optics back on your feet, let us return to the corridor and do it again, all right?"
Because he would rather repeat this triumph a few times before moving to the next step and traumatizing Mayday any further. He is, in fact, tempted to call it successful day if Mayday can simply get to the point of shuffling through the doorway by himself, and then send the smaller bot off to work on repairing the ship, rather than push it any further on their first day.
|
|
Skyfire
Major
I'm a scientist, not a....
Posts: 891
|
Post by Skyfire on Mar 25, 2011 18:40:17 GMT -5
There's a soft 'beep' as Skyfire finally presses the 'Start' button on the fabricator, after double-checking that all the hoppers are properly loaded. "Next item is up and running, Perceptor."
He steps back over the the desk he's been using and sits down, glancing at Perceptor and Mayday once he's comfortably seated in one of those backless stools for people with too much back kibble to use a standard chair.
"Mayday, you repair starships, don't you?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Mayday/Maddox Wayne on Mar 25, 2011 21:01:36 GMT -5
"Aha-heh," Mayday chuckles, mouth twitching into a shaky grin. The grin quickly drops away and he lets out a tiny whine at Perceptor's suggestion. "Do I have to?"
Despite his protest, his chin drops to his chest and he opens his optics to stare at his feet once more. He begins a slow shuffle around to face back towards the open doorway. Then his head snaps up to stare at Jetfire.
"Buh, wuh? Starships, what? Yes, I repair." Eloquent as ever.
He freezes up with the sudden realization that ack, he is looking around the medbay! Cringing, he awaits the attack of much dreaded horror, but there's... nothing. It's just a room, really. Like plenty of other rooms aboard the Event Horizon. And Skyfire's wounds make his eye twitch, but don't instill feelings of uncontrollable panic.
"Uh... nuh."
|
|
|
|
Post by Perceptor on Mar 25, 2011 21:29:17 GMT -5
"Yes, I think that it would be--"
Perceptor manages to stifle a cringe as he hears Skyfire address Mayday; he'd forgotten to let the others know what was going on. This could definitely derail his attempt at working with Mayday's phobias, and badly...
Except that Mayday is not panicking as he looks up. He's not comfortable, that much is clear, but there is no flailing, no weeping, not even a significant twitch. He is... surprisingly calm.
"Tell me what you are feeling, Mayday, and what you wish to do right now," he asks softly.
|
|
Skyfire
Major
I'm a scientist, not a....
Posts: 891
|
Post by Skyfire on Mar 26, 2011 14:29:36 GMT -5
Skyfire smiles pleasantly. "Well, when you have some free time, I'd appreciate it if you could go over this long-range shuttle repair manual with me. I'm trying to get the concepts down, and I could use advice from someone of your experience--you know, those subtle things that you learn from experience, that aren't always in the manuals."
"Ah, I hope I didn't interrupt you. Sorry, wasn't thinking," he adds belatedly. Which Perceptor probably won't believe for an instant, he knows I'm smarter than that--but as long as Mayday doesn't catch on that everything I'm asking him is quite calculated--though for his own good, hopefully--all is well.
With that thought, Skyfire turns back to studying his Basic Repairs study manual.
|
|
