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Post by Perceptor on Apr 20, 2011 22:21:27 GMT -5
ooc: or maybe not yet... ---------------------
Mirage is being kind enough to point out that no one should take such a charge against him seriously, just because of who he is, and now Drift is kind enough to point out how utterly useless in combat he is.
Perceptor would like to be released to go crawl under a rock in the biosphere now, please.
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Post by Kate Mason on Apr 20, 2011 22:28:49 GMT -5
"Okay. If you're sure," Kup says, giving Drift a hard look. Yes, Drift probably could have fought Perceptor off. Yes, Kup is glad no one has been gutted yet. He still mutters lowly, "And I thought the Talai Tobais were a handful and a half. Slagging samarium."
He says more loudly, "Perceptor, you're covering whatever shift Long Haul was doing." Perceptor should know; Perceptor is Long Haul's boss. "If he wasn't doing a shift, just go... sort bolts in the morgue or something."
Boring, mindless scut work is a punishment for Perceptor, right? Kup releases Perceptor and glares at nothing in particular. He has such a headache. Kids these days.
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Post by Drift on Apr 20, 2011 22:36:14 GMT -5
Argh. Get the HINT already, Kup. Drift does not want to talk about it. Not to you, not to some...'counselor' or sockpuppets or write about it in his journal or act it out in modern interpretive dance or whatever you Autobots do. He wants to forget the whole thing ever happened.
He feels a surge of relief. Good. So...Perceptor, NOT going to the brig. A sign of success.
His shoulders loosen, the one Perceptor didn't get to detail squeaking slightly. Oh...you shut up.
"Good. So...like...no need for an investigation. See? All fixed." No one EVER needs to see that footage, right?
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Post by Perceptor on Apr 20, 2011 22:42:32 GMT -5
Sort bolts in the morgue? Yeah. Sure.
"Tell Long Haul that the preliminary results are complete," Perceptor offers quietly as he nods toward the scanner that sits, discarded, with the other implements. He ignores the squeal of Drift's shoulder as he slips past the swordsmech, leaving as wide a berth as he is physically able to, to escape out the door.
Off to the morgue to spend some quality time with all the arrivals, like Hound, that he couldn't save. Really, his day is... pretty much complete now.
[
ooc: now out of thread for real, unless called back for some reason.
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Post by Kate Mason on Apr 20, 2011 23:02:10 GMT -5
Drift could totally be afraid of Perceptor because Perceptor is in a position of authority over Drift and trying to cover up the crime for fear that Perceptor will slap him!
Kup continues to look sorely vexed and grumps, "I think, lad, you mean all 'fubared'. Not 'fixed'."
Frak, Kup's just going to wait until Long Haul gets here to make sure that no one turns into a werewolf or something equally absurd. He really didn't mean to ruin Perceptor's day that hard, but... Kup is not a mind-reader and doesn't know Perceptor is mentally self-flagellating.
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Post by Drift on Apr 20, 2011 23:18:20 GMT -5
Oh yes, because Drift has such a proven track record of living in abject obedient fear of his superiors. Might want to have a quick chat with Turmoil about that, Kup.
"What? It's all....more or less...fixed. Stupid maintenance will happen, and I won't gut your nerd." And your nerd will not continue to make me uncomfortable by getting under my defenses. Win, WIN.
"...he have to go to the morgue?" Drift...really didn't like the expression on Perceptor's face. "I mean, don't you have some, you know, OTHER dumb menial task he can do?" Because, for the record, Drift is totally okay with punishing Perceptor. Just...death? Really? Insensitive much, Kup?
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Post by Long Haul on Apr 21, 2011 11:49:13 GMT -5
Long Haul finally comes plodding into the room. He didn't get here all that quickly, but then, Long Haul's never been known for his speed. In one arm he's carrying a box of cleaning supplies to be moved into the closets in medical that he picked up on the way, because if he's got to go this route, anyway, might as well accomplish two things at once.
He sets the box down on a table next to the closet - he'll worry about getting them sorted later - and turns towards Drift. "Right. I'm assuming you're the patient," he declares as the Constructibot starts to plod towards the examination table.
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Post by Kate Mason on Apr 21, 2011 12:08:21 GMT -5
Kup's look turns flinty, and he says firmly, "There will be no gutting. Gut strikes ain't immediately disabling, and if you're acting in self-defense, you want immediately disabling, not a slow leak-out. You call for help, you get out of there, and you get your attacker down if you have to.
In Kup's day, they didn't have butts, so there was no nonsense about butt-pinching. It was a simpler time. Then Kup invented butts, because he wanted to be able to sit on a dead Decepticon's corpse for lunch, and that there opened Pandora's box.
(Okay, probably not.)
Kup continues, "There's this concept called 'reasonable force', and it's probably new to you, but if a Minibot assaults you with a tablet stylus, you put 'im down with less force than if Grimlock attacks you with a chainsaw."
Drift is softer than he lets on! And Kup is insensitive. Most of the Autobots probably need sensitivity training, but who would give it? Holi probably doesn't even know all the different ways people can be offended. Override would just tell people to beat their attackers in a race. Nightbeat would teach people the most degrading method of calling a leggy redhead 'sweet-cheeks', and considering that one of the tallest redheads around here is Rodimus Prime...
Kup never should have invented butts.
"Drift, Perceptor's worked in the morgue before. But I s'spect you'll soon find all about what kinda dumb, menial tasks I got." His optics narrow.
Ah, there's Long Haul! Kup points out, just so they're all clear, "He's Long Haul. He's not a Decepticon. Never been a Decepticon."
And no, Kup is not the patient. The patient may be cranky, but Kup would not describe himself in the third person.
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Post by Drift on Apr 21, 2011 13:03:27 GMT -5
Drift gives Kup a look that can only be described as an unholy mashup between 'bzuh?' and 'hahahah hell no'. He does not need any instruction in the finer points of killing, thankyouverymuch. His Kup at least knew his competence in that department.
...just playing for the wrong team. "Yeah, I'll...file that away somewhere." Right next to where he files that blather about reasonable force. Fraggin' oxymoron, really. "If someone damages you, end them." He narrows his optics. It's...so obvious. "Otherwise both of you'll spend forever pussyfooting around each other. Stupid. Waste."
I-is that a threat? Snerk. Drift's been threatened harder and by..well, not better mechs but...uglier mechs. Kup hadn't even pulled a weapon. Drift considers giving Kup a return block of instruction about 'intimidation'.
Drift's optics had almost lit up in a vague recognition of Long Haul's name. Another Decepticon who'd changed sid--oh. Guess not. His face falls. "Not the 'patient', for frag's sake." 'Patients' are injured. Drift is FINE. How many times does he have to say it before one of you believes it!?
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Post by Long Haul on Apr 21, 2011 17:47:51 GMT -5
Long Haul looks at Drift silently for a beat. Not long, just a beat. Then he says, "Yeah, I can tell you ain't patient. I ain't either." He jerks his thumb towards the medical berth. "Now get on the damn berth."
He trudges towards the controls. "This the standard check-in medical, or what?"
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Post by Kate Mason on Apr 24, 2011 13:09:45 GMT -5
Kup isn't talking to Drift about killing. He's going over how to use self-defense against an ally without also getting tossed in the brig for excessive use of force. These are different concepts, and one of these two concepts seems lost on Drift. Kup corrects, "Usually. Not always. S'pose your best friend came down with a disease that made 'im try to murder everyone in sight, but you knew there was a cure out there for him, if you could just keep him occupied until a medic could get him the cure. You'd kill him for damaging you?"
Yes, Kup is basically asking Drift to imagine that Wing has come down with the Hate Plague.
He explains to Long Haul, "Think Perceptor was almost done and left all his work open."
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Post by Drift on Apr 24, 2011 15:51:48 GMT -5
Ah. The concept that is befuddling Drift is this whole 'allies' thing. After all he shot...uh...whatshisname in the head for ratting on him. And they were such good 'allies' that Drift doesn't even remember the ventilated idiot's name.
"I...uh...don't know." Many scenarios, much like what Kup might want Drift to imagine, are running through his cortex. Not much that a good 'stapling to the wall' doesn't 'fix'. "Don't have any best friends, anyway so...moot." SO THERE with your logic, old timer.
Drift's immediate response to Long Haul--which would involve a demonstration of how very little he needs any kind of medical exam, is quashed by the fact that Kup is still there. And Drift doesn't know this Kup all that well, but he does get That Vibe: That Kup is infinitely creative in finding ways to make a mech's life entirely miserable and he's not afraid to use it.
He perches one leg on the berth. Not...entirely disobeying but hardly anything that could be called complete compliance. "Other nerd had no problem with me standing."
Just...making a point.
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Post by Long Haul on Apr 25, 2011 14:59:56 GMT -5
"Right, and if things with the 'other nerd' had gone so well, I wouldn't be in here," Long Haul points out. He dips his head towards Kup. "Thanks," he mutters, turning to check out what's been done and what's being done. He grunts.
"Lubricating shoulder joints?" he notes. "Well, that explains it. 'Case you haven't noticed, the 'other nerd's' a lot taller'n me and would have an easier time reachin'!" And it's true. Long Haul, despite never having been a gestalt component, is notably shorter than your typical car Autobot, coming in between them and a Minibot in the height range.
"The table or crouch or just transform," Long Haul states. "I don't care which."
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Post by Kate Mason on Apr 26, 2011 23:01:07 GMT -5
"Can you at least imagine having one?" Kup asks sharply. There is not fitting in, and then there is being the square peg that was eaten by termites. If Drift is really that poorly socialised... yeah, well, they'll have to do something about that. But it won't be singing 'kumbaya'. There has to be a way to get a 'bot to settle down and act normal via punching him repeatedly.
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Post by Drift on Apr 27, 2011 9:15:06 GMT -5
"Yeah, shoulder joints." His shoulders twitch, as if they could actually manage to hide/cover the Great Sword, which thankfully no one's prodded him about.
Point, Long Haul. Drift will grant you a point. He will also, because he's feeling generous, grant you another point for not being likely to use Perceptor's strategy (which it OBVIOUSLY was) to get under his plating by asking all of those nice, sweet questions.
But, all three of those choices sucked.
Drift glares at Long Haul and edges himself up onto the berth, managing to look entirely miserable, sort of the way an animal shoved into a carrier or in some humiliating outfit might look.
He tries to take some ego-compensation in the fact that he could probably take down Shrimp Haul fairly easily. It's just a thought! He's allowed to fantasize, dammit.
"Sorry," he says, wryly, to Kup. "Didn't issue 'imagination' to us where I come from."
But notice, Kup: how well he is behaving.
And that it's under EXTREME protest.
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