Fraternizing with the Enemy

[Swindle]

Open Thread, Day 6

Swindle struts down the streets of an upscale casino district, dressed to the nines in a green sequined top-hat with a purple band, and a matching coat and tails. His usual bolo tie has been switched for one with a golden dollar sign for a clasp. As he walks, he twirls a black cane with gold at both ends. He isn't wearing pants or shoes, though he is wearing spats. (Scrooge McDuck, eat your heart out.)

The street lights are just beginning to come on, though of course the casinos are brightly lit 24-7 (Or however many hours are in a Pz-Zazzian day and days in a week.) Swindle stops in the pool of light under a lamp and checks his internal chronometer. This is where he's supposed to meet Pee-Dee.

[Pee-Dee]

"It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights,¹" someone sings in a surprisingly good alto. Also in English, which is just weird for Pz-Zazz.

Pee-Dee struts down the street, her heeled feet clacking against the pavement. A slinky, sparkly red dress clings to her, following the line of her body from her chest to her ankles. The sides of the skirt are slit, and the back almost doesn't exist. Which is just as well, as her wheel-assembly would get in the way of wearing something with a back.

---

1. The Muppet Show

[Swindle]

"Pee-Dee, my dear, you look simply ravishing," Swindle says as the Junkion approaches. He bows slightly in greeting, then points dramatically with his cane as he says "Tonight we dine in HELL!¹ . . . It's a theme restaurant. Plus they have karaoke and fuels from over a dozen planets. Sound good?" So saying, he winks and offers his arm, grinning.

1. 300

[Pee-Dee]

"I'll try not to ravish you then," Pee-Dee says as she tucks her arm into Swindle's and assumes the perfect 'Bruce Wayne Bimbo' attitude. "Ooooooooh, karoake?"

Careful, Swindle. If you give her some teevee, she might try to keep you.

[Swindle]

Swindle grins as the Junkion takes his arm and they proceed toward the restaurant. "Yes, karaoke. The ad says they let you bring your own music too." He walks arm in arm with Pee-Dee down the street, towards a brightly lit facade among many other brightly lit facades. The neon sign on this one declares it to be "Hell: Restaurant and Bar" and features a demon with a pitchfork. The door is outlined in neon flames.

Releaseing Pee-Dee's arm to hold open the door and gesture with his cane, the Decepticon merchant says "Ladies first."

[Pee-Dee]

Inside the restaurant, a "please wait to be seated" sign is outlined in lurid red neon flames. The interior is smoky and dark, though most of the smoke has the wrong 'taste' for drug-smoke; it seems to be atmosphere instead. There are low-lights on the floor to prevent people from tripping over things, and the booths and tables have little fake-candles.

The bar is lit up fit to rival a star, which just makes the darkness of the rest of the restaurant even worse.

In the darkness, the Transformers' optics really stand out.

A four-armed, green skinned lady approaches as Pee-Dee and Swindle wait for a table. "Two? Dinner, drinks, or karaoke?"

[Swindle]

Swindle steps in after Pee-Dee and takes in the scenery, nodding his approval as he removes his hat and tucks it under one arm. Swindle looks at the hostess as she approaches, the glow from his optics outlining her face in purple. "A table for two and two slots on the karaoke sign-up sheet, if you'd be so kind." He casually drops some shanix into one of the green lady's hands. "A good table and a two slots near the top of the sign-up sheet."

The Decepticon turns his attention away from the four-armed woman as he scans the room. It wouldn't do to get spotted here with Pee-Dee. There could be awkward questions.

[Pee-Dee]

"Glitzy hands," Pee-Dee comments as Swindle manages to lose some of his money into the hostess's.

The hostess smiles. "It's a common affliction on Pz-zazz. Right this way, sir and madam."

She escorts them to a very nice table - not too far off the main path from the kitchen, but not close enough to be constantly jostled. Not too far from the bar. Not too close to the karaoke stage, so people can actually talk without shouting.

"Your waitress will be along shortly."

Pee-Dee nods solemnly, then eyes the backed chair at the table. She twists her head just slightly to look at the array of wheels hanging off her back. Then back at the chair. Then she sighs and turns it around so the back is facing the table and straddles the seat.

There is a reason her skirt had slits in it, ladies and gentlemen.

"With all things being equal, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."¹

---

1. Die Hard

[Swindle]

Swindle nods at Pee-Dee. "Philadelphia's nice, if you like history. The real action's all up in Detroit, though. In my home universe anyway."

The waitress is indeed along shortly. She's a different species than the hostess, with a slimy sheen to her skin. The fake horns she's wearing seem very out of place on her. "You'll be wanting the robot menu, I take it?"

Swindle smiles up at the server and replies, "The robot menu will do just fine, yes. And could we get another chair for the lady? One with a lower back?"

[Pee-Dee]

"Detroit?" Pee-Dee tilts her head slightly. "I don't watch the news, I make it.¹"

Come on, Swindle, fill her in on the interesting stories.

The waitress looks over Pee-Dee and the wheels on her back. "[[Must be fashion...]] Of course, sir. We can accommodate a wide variety of body-types here at Hell. I'll bring a new chair along with your menus."

---

1. Sledge Hammer

[Swindle]

Swindle leans back in his chair and drums his fingers on the table top. "Yes, Detroit, Michigan. The United States, that is. It's pretty much the robot capital of Earth (my universe's Earth, anyway), thanks to Sumdac Systems. Mind you, all that technology was reverse-engineered from Megatron. He crashed in the area fifty Earth years back. And there's a group of Autobot Academy washouts in the area, playing hero. I had a pretty sweet gig going on there until a bunch of humans reneged on their end of a business deal." He frowns, a rarity. The merchant doesn't seem to want to go into details about the whole Society of Ultimate Villainy debacle. Getting zapped into stasis lock by a ricocheting beam oneself fired is embarrassing, after all. "You can't win 'em all, I guess. What was going on in your home reality before you got yanked?"

[Pee-Dee]

"Robin landed in our territory, but he and Peacekeeper knew the words and had booze. So we had a party, fixed their ship, and sent them on their way. Heard later on that Robin won the cowl and ascended to being Batman Prime. Then the Joker came back; he couldn't stay away. So the Sharks and Jets are back to their old problems, because they never learn."

Pee-Dee shrugs. "Not much, you know?"

[Swindle]

Swindle's glad he's spent some time reading the Decepticon database and has had dealings with Junkions before, or else he would be completely lost as to the meaning of Pee-Dee's last statement. As it is, he's only mildly confused. "Unfortunately for your metaphor, the only shark around and the lion's share of the jets are all on the same team. Speaking of which, have you considered doing some freelance work for the Decepticons? Shockwave's a complete wet blanket, but the money's good."

The waitress arrives back with a new chair, and two menus, putting the chair down beside the one Pee-Dee is currently occupying and handing a menu to each of the robots.

[Pee-Dee]

Pee-Dee supposes she could break into a musical number to explain the Sharks vs. Jets thing, but all the dance routines she knows are from "Grease". She doesn't think Swindle is up to slinging her through his legs, no matter how awesome it would be.

"Conflict of interest," she replies, shrugging. "Role doesn't call for a dirty cop. Yet. You freelance?"

[Swindle]

Swindle nods, briefly looking disgruntled. "Preferably, yes. Though it seems there's not much room for it in the current situation." He picks up his menu and opens it, perusing the fuels. "I'm afraid since you're affiliated with the Autobots I'm going to have to charge you an arm and a leg for the chainsaw launcher in order to maintain appearances." He hurriedly adds "Not literally. Don't start disassembling yourself. I mean it's going to cost you a lot of money. Not to mention I have to cover my costs for it being a scratch-built job."