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Post by Kup on Apr 14, 2011 23:20:09 GMT -5
This entry is in video form, though it just starts as Kup sitting at his desk.
"Right. So we probably should have gotten this file made sooner, except that those of us who are used to having female Transformers around find it pretty weird that folks from other realities keep tripping over the concept. Anyway, I'm fixing it now."
He leans back. "Females Transformers are... Transformers, really. That's about it. They tend towards a lighter build a lot of the time, but not always. Their voices are usually in a higher register, but not always. They tend to go for softer colors for their paint jobs, but not always. They use a different set of pronouns - she, her, hers. That one is always. Er. Pretty much, anyway."
"So what's a hard and fast rule for how to tell a female by looking at her?" Kup shrugs and shakes his head. "Sorry, lads, there ain't one. Common sure-fire personality trait? Nope. There's a voluntary BIOS setting that's different, but that isn't something you can tell by looking. When you come from a reality with them, you get used enough to the traits that generally go together that you can usually tell, but to be honest, there are folks from my reality who could fool me," like Farlane, "so you guys who're new to it, you're gonna mess it up sometimes. Not much to do about it. Best advice I can give is look through our database, check who in our crew is female, and see if you can't start picking up patterns. On the flip side, girls? Sooner or later, someone's gonna think you're a male. Try not to get insulted, huh? Just correct them and move on."
He hesitates a moment, tilting his head and rubbing his chin as he considers the matter. "Actually, while I'm on the subject... lads? Might be someone who sooner or later pegs you as a gal. Same deal. It's not an insult, just a misunderstanding. My own reality, some of our oldest warrior legends were about a green female, someone connected to Alpha Trion, who defied the... probably Quintessons, but the old stories weren't too clear. There's nothing 'wrong' with being a girl."
He leans back. "So why do we have them at all?" He shrugs. "Look, I didn't design the species. But the slag-eaters who did, the Quintessons, they made us as products to be bought and sold. Slaves." He shakes his head. "Maybe they just had different build lines intended for different markets. Couldn't say. All I do know is that it's something that's been part of us from the start. They're rarer, yeah, but that's about it."
"You need to know more? Your best choice is probably to talk to the females themselves. Only one from my reality here on the Event Horizon is Arcee, but back on Gillanan we've got the Junkion Pee-Dee. The 'Cons have a female Junkion named Screwdriver from my universe, but I wouldn't suggest asking her about gender relations. Gal's stutter-clocked worse than a Torkulonese inmate." He shakes his head.
Kup doesn't know that Skystrike is also a female from his reality, which really just emphasizes the point that there are no absolute rules (he might have guessed Fleetwind is, but he'd have guessed wrong).
"Anyway, that's that. Those of you from realities with gals, I'm going to ask you to go ahead and add your explanations. I'm going to ask that we stick to Transformer females and leave the organics out of it. That gets even more complex, and varies from species to species, anyway. Like, for instance, there's the Winslons. Thirteen genders, and all of them claim to be females. It's pretty confusing, which is why we're not going into that here, got it? We can cover that when it's needed."
"Anyway, that's it. Stop all the axel-snappin', diode-bustin' freaking out over it. You folks are makin' a bigger deal of the business than it needs to be."
Much like Furman, really.
"And out." Kup presses a spot on his desk, and the video feed ends.
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Override
Minor
The Chancellor, Her Noble Potency, Empress Override. The Glorious Victor over Everyone Else On the Track
Shut up and drive
Posts: 476
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Post by Override on Apr 14, 2011 23:24:54 GMT -5
Override appears on screen.
"It's pretty much like Kup says in my reality, except that as far as I know, we didn't start out as consumer products. For some reason a few million years back, Velocitron didn't allow females to race." She shakes her head. "I don't know why. I thought it was a pretty stupid rule, so when I took Planet Cup, I got rid of it."
She smiles. "And that's it from me!"
At no point does she bother clarifying that she, herself, is female, though by this point most of the crew knows. Which is fortunate, since she mentions having won the Planet Cup before the rule against females racing was removed. If someone didn't know better, it'd be easy to draw the wrong conclusion from that and assume she was racing legally!
(It says some odd things about her homeworld that you can become ruler by illegally entering a race, and once you win everyone is all right about the fact that you shouldn't have been in the running to begin with.)
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Post by Rodimus Prime on Apr 14, 2011 23:44:27 GMT -5
Rodimus Prime appears on screen, but he looks a little embarrassed.
"My... uhm... in my reality, there was only one female Transformer ever built. We don't really think of ourselves as even having a gender, normally, but organic species tend to perceive us as male," possibly because they all have masculine builds, facial features, voices, and personalities, except of course the animals, "and on Earth, some complained that we were intentionally excluding females. Our Arcee was built to remedy that and modeled after female humans. More or less."
He now looks extremely embarrassed, but he does shrug. "That was under Optimus, and I can't say much for the motivations, but really, I'm glad he did. She's a ruthless warrior on the battlefield, but a compassionate, sensible soul off it. She's one of my most trusted companions, and this..." he lifts his hand to touch his chest, looking down slightly, as if unable to meet the camera in the 'eye'. "This situation would have been a lot worse if it weren't for her." He looks up, lowering his hand.
"So anyway. When it comes to how to tell female Transformers from the rest in my reality, it's pretty simple. If it's Arcee, it's female, if it's not, it's male." He shrugs. "Not much use on a general basis, but since Kup requested that everyone from realities with females explain what they are for our reality, and we've got... well... one..." He shrugs.
He leans forward and cuts off the feed, hoping that Arcee won't hurt him after this.
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Post by Drift on Apr 15, 2011 8:11:34 GMT -5
Well, this might be a good time to clear this up once and for all.
Have a screen full of Pretty, Event Horizon.
"Just to make this clear: I am not female."
Drift gives a fearsome glower. "We don't have these...weak, nurturing...whatever things with the dumb pronouns where I come from. The Autobots--" Oops. "Uh, WE have an Arcee, but he's...a little crazy, from what I hear."
And have a nice, angry snarl. Boop boop, attention: Twin Twist. "And I will be more than glad to prove my not-female-ness on anyone, personally."
Wait. That...didn't come out right. He's....just gonna end the feed here and facepalm quietly. But in a very manly way.
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Post by Lynn Deanna Payne on Apr 15, 2011 8:25:20 GMT -5
There is a completely pissed off Dinobot on the screen, who is gesticulating with a flaming hammer. Her lips are twisted into a snarl that shows off her fangs, her brows are furrowed darkly, and every inch of her looks ready to unleash some mayhem. Bambi seethes, "You Drift wrong. Me Bambi no weak! Me Bambi strong. Me Bambi Dinobot. Me Bambi no nurturing, either."
Wait, Kup said not to talk about organic species. There goes a digression on seahorses, B-rex, Harris hawks, and tercels.
"...anyway. It AllSpark make females in me Bambi's reality. It make males, too. Think it make me Bambi female 'cos beast mode is female."
She leans closer to the camera, leering in predatory fashion, flames casting strange shadows across her face.
"Him Drift? Me Bambi find you."
The video feed cuts out then, rather ominously. Someone might want to go check on Bambi to make sure she's not planning on murdering Drift in his sleep.
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Override
Minor
The Chancellor, Her Noble Potency, Empress Override. The Glorious Victor over Everyone Else On the Track
Shut up and drive
Posts: 476
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Post by Override on Apr 15, 2011 8:49:14 GMT -5
Voice only addendum tacked on by Override.
She says one word. Her tone is absolutely baffled.
"... Nurturing?"
Override's less concerned about the physical strength thing. She's about average, but Velocitronians don't put the kind of cultural emphasis on combat capabilities as Cybertronians.
Call females slow, however, and they'll be trouble.
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Post by Kup on Apr 15, 2011 9:00:32 GMT -5
Voice only attachment.
Kup sighs.
"Right. So sounds like someone with remarkably selective hearin' decided to ignore all the bits where I said it ain't an insult and about how somma our earliest warrior legends are about a gal so's they could cling to... I don't even know how you glitch-heads from the no-girls-allowed realities manage to go from no idea about gender to sexist so fast."
"Anyway, lad, I ain't gonna bother to set you straight on this one. I don't need to. I'm figuring any time now, the gals will manage just fine on that one on their own."
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Post by Drift on Apr 15, 2011 9:01:22 GMT -5
As Drift had predicted, when Perceptor was trying to explain this to him: females? Irrational.
Growl.
"Take it up with your chief nerd. That's what he told me: small, weak, nurturing, dumb pronouns."
Okay the dumb pronouns was actually Kup, but Perceptor hadn't refuted that.
If you want to find him, Bambi, you might want to stalk Twin Twist, whom Drift is planning on murdering in his sleep.
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Post by Rodimus Prime on Apr 15, 2011 9:05:33 GMT -5
Rodimus's attachment includes video. He's looking at the camera, wide-eyed and confused.
"I'm not sexist! Arcee is awesome!"
He looks promptly embarrassed and rubs the back of his neck. "I mean... uhm..."
"Look, I haven't made any new Transformers since becoming Prime, female or otherwise. It's not because I've got anything against girls!"
Even now, Rodimus only has a vague grasp on what makes a given Transformer female, anyway. His thought process largely operates off the thread, 'Arcee = Awesome, therefore Girls = Awesome.'
Camera goes blank.
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Post by Kup on Apr 15, 2011 9:07:34 GMT -5
Voice only attachment.
"... You sure he was talking about Transformer females? There's a reason I didn't want to include organic species in this thing."
Because really, Kup's known Perceptor for awhile, and if he's harboring those kinds of attitudes, that's news to the old mechanoid.
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Post by Drift on Apr 15, 2011 9:12:49 GMT -5
....does ANYONE entirely follow what Perceptor says? So. Many. WORDS!!!
"I don't know! He was too busy pawing me as you ordered him to and I got distracted."
Um.
Wow. That didn't come out right AT ALL.
But, to Drift's credit, he doesn't take the coward's way of throwing Perceptor entirely under the proverbial bus. That is bearing down upon him with righteous anger. And is probably pink.
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Post by Kup on Apr 15, 2011 9:26:35 GMT -5
Once more, voice only, though the smirk is audible.
"I ordered you to do your medical check, lad. What you and Perceptor do for recreation is your business."
"It's worth notin' that Perceptor ain't our 'Chief Nerd,' though. I just assumed that you were talkin' about Perceptor here because I'm seriously doubting you picked up those ideas from Botanica."
"Besides, she's still recoverin' from the Cosmic Rust."
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Nimbus Tsura
Major
Secretary to Mr. Breakaway
Sky-Painter Extraordinaire
Posts: 735
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Post by Nimbus Tsura on Apr 15, 2011 11:20:11 GMT -5
There's Skyblast! He's grinning and agrees, "Rodimus Prime, women are awesome! My Arcees," yes, plural, "could probably tell you more about it than I can, but give me a second..."
Skyblast pauses and changes his BIOS settings. There's a flicker in her optics as she reboots. "There we go. I'm female now! Notice any differences?"
There are no differences. There's a cocky fighter puke Minibot voiced by Terry Klassen standing there, seemingly vastly amused.
"It's just an easy change to the BIOS settings. The AllSpark makes males and females my reality. Well, made. We kind of broke it." She rubs the back of her head and looks awkwardly guilty. "Don't really know what motivated it to make one body shell female and another male. It just does. Did. Anyway, the Allspark tended to spit out more males than females. Again, don't know why. Anyway, I wouldn't really call them weak and nurturing as a blanket statement. I mean, have you met Fracture?"
The answer is probably 'no'.
"You don't want to. Anyway, I'm switching my BIOS back now. Byeee!"
Skyblast does. He's a he again.
Cut to the commercial break.
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Post by Drift on Apr 15, 2011 12:52:31 GMT -5
"I...uh...look! It's not my fault you hire perverts to cover your medbay!" Denial? Population: One.
And Drift is about to come up with some scathing comment about how there could possibly even be a hierarchy of nerds and how anyone could possibly, POSSIBLY be nerdier than Perceptor without collapsing under the weight of all those big words when Skyblast does his/her/its little PSA.
Congratulations: you have now broken Drift's brain.
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Post by Sentinel Prime on Apr 15, 2011 13:15:24 GMT -5
It's Sentinel Prime! Because he's opinionated and feels that everyone has to hear his opinion about everything, no matter how little he may know about the subject or how erroneous he may be.
Also, someone has impugned the honour of one of the superior officers Sentinel Prime likes to suck up to. That cannot stand!
"Perceptor's not a pervert! How sheltered are you, anyway? I mean, sheesh."
"Anyway... my reality, like most realities with lots of females, has had them since the dawn of time as far as anyone can tell. They've never been as numerous as males, but they're not exactly uncommon. They're made the same way as males are. You will find them in all walks of life, from lowly waitresses," he pulls up a picture of Lickety-Split, "to demolitionists," Flareup, "to Primes," Override Prime from the Great War, who is probably dead now, "to Councilors," Botanica, "and on the opposing team... Generals of Destruction," Strika.
He lines all the pictures up in scale. Strika is huge. Sentinel Prime pauses, making a face at the lineup.
"Strika is apparently a great beauty among Decepticons," he says, very neutrally. Sentinel Prime is not going to say she's ugly, because Lugnut will find out somehow and kill him. He's also not going to say he'd tap that, because Strika will find out somehow, come here, and kill him.
"It's not really a matter of bodyshell." He pulls up pictures of Bumblebee, Wasp, and Glyph. "One of these is female. Hint: it's not the yellow one."
"It's not really a matter of colour." Back to the lineup he had earlier. "Or size or build or weapons loadout."
"It's not really even a matter of voice." There's an old grainy Great War clip of Strika barking orders to her team. She's... not all that high pitched.
"Now, usually, females will have decorative lip paint, but not always." Back to the lineup. Even Strika's wearing plum lipstick, but... Lickety-Split doesn't have any lipstick at all.
"That's all I have. If any of my esteemed female reality-mates would like to weigh in, go for it, girls."
Sentinel Prime signs off.
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